Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Thoughts On Spanking and DD

I thought it would be fun to write about some of the questions that I toy with when I am thinking of what to write on my blog.  These are some of the battles I have with myself on how I think the mechanics of DD are at that moment
The one thing that is a common denominator of a main topic of any DD discussion whether it is written in the blogs or in the chat rooms it is spanking. Read a blog or go into a chat room and you will hear story after story of how they have received or given a spanking for any number of reasons.

I know for me and most other spankos out there we get that need satisfied because we get that rush by either receiving a spanking (tih) or giving the spanking (HOH). For me there is nothing more satisfying than watching Bobbie’s bottom in front of me turning red and the reactions of her ouching and moving around thus giving me feedback.

For others, it is atonement for the wrong they did to their spouse. They accept their spanking because it washes the slate clean. They have endured the hardship of discipline proving that they are sorry for what they did and then they can look their spouse in the eyes and feel that everything is ok again.

Other tih’s might do it because they need to feel the hand of their HOH on their backside not because of anything that they did, but because it is when they feel the closest to their spouse.

When our silent lurkers read our blogs, they want to be entertained by it. They want to read about who got spanked and why. They want to hear about the gory details of the spanking itself and the reconciliation between the two partners that once again everything is well in their lives till the next time.

So the big question is why is spanking so important to our DD relationship? Obviously spankings work. There is no taking away from that and if all that is said from the blogs are even half true, it works very well indeed. You probably could get the same reaction by using alternative discipline, making the person write lines, stand in the corner, do extra chores or kneeling on rice (just kidding) etc. These all work very well to get the point across to the errant tih.

Could it be that there is some sort of underlying sexual component to all these spankings? Even discipline and even when no sexual actions follow? As mentioned before we have two willing participants.

For the tih who willingly offers their butt to be spanked. They get their satisfaction from knowing that their partner cares enough about them to take the time to spank them thus they feel loved, wanted, desired and a sense of worth because they are being paid attention to.

The HOH that is doing the spanking feels that he is needed because he is helping his tih sort out their problem and if the wrong was directed towards him while he is administrating the spanking he feels justified in spanking her. In a roundabout way he is getting back at her for the pain and suffering he has endured.

Sometimes when DD spankings are used to help motivate does it sometimes fail because success might mean less attention for both parties? And for the TIH spanko’s, how can something we want and need also work as a deterrent. On the HOH spanko’s side deep down do you want your TIH to sometimes slip up? Do we silently cheer in the background for the tih to fail?



  1. Hi Bob,

    A great and thought provoking post! I think there is definitely a sexual element to spanking, even for self confessed spank-no's or when it is for punishment. It is a highly intimate act and invokes a range of emotions and creates a real connection. I think that is why it can be more effective than say corner time etc.

    I would say the reason it works as a punishment for spanko's is because of the different emotions involved. It is serious and there are negative emotions involved such as disappointment, remorse etc and of course, it is generally much more painful than a spanking for fun/reconnection/stress relief.


    1. Thank you Roz
      I agree with you there is so much going on behind the scene when being spanked that volumes could be written about it


  2. Hi Bob, :)

    I enjoyed reading here, as always! I find it fascinating how well a spanking seems to work. I mean really? It just takes care of things in so many ways. There is the connection, the attention, the caring, the exchange of trust, the righting of wrongs at times, the reset, the redirection, the getting it all out, the closeness, and many more things. It blows my mind sometimes.

    The sexual stuff- yes there is certainly that I find. Rob has taken to spanking and he has admitted that he enjoys it. Now his spankings can hurt, but he is a bit of a softie at times, which I am perfectly okay with. He has come to realize that spanking turns him on. And that often leads to some very loving aftercare! It's kinda nice I say!!!! LOLOL! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    1. Hi Katie

      Yes everything you said is so true thanks for posting


  3. For me even disciplinary spanking have an underlying eroticism (even though I might not feel that way *during* the event). This comes not so much from the physical event, although I am generally 'wired' to enjoy being spanked, but from the fact that I find the Dominant/submissive - Authority/acquiescence (call it what you like) exchange to be hot.

    I'm going to say this really quickly before I duck to get away from all the rotten tomatoes and eggs flung by the group of people who will inevitably feel that I am bringing their 'serious' and 'real' DD dynamic down to the level of an erotic game, but I have to say that, although many people fervently deny that there can be any sexual component to DD, I have never yet met a single TiH who didn't describe exactly that same satisfaction and pleasure in what seems to them to be the 'rightness' of the D/s component in their relationships.

    I hope it's okay to post the link to another person's blog article here, but for me, this explanation by Angelbrat of how spanking can be an effective disciplinary tool, while still having erotic undertones, is a good one:



    1. Hi Ros

      I can't say anything about anyone else but for me I get a rush by spanking obbie

  4. I should probably add that I very much like the whole concept that DD and spanking as we use it in TTWD is all about what makes us feel loved and what better way to complete your feeling of being loved than to consummate it physically?

  5. Hi bob :)
    I am a die hard spanko so I find it totally sexual, on ANY occasion. In terms of 'punishment', it's in the words/lecture that Mitch chooses. And this is where the difference for me lies. Even though I will become sexually aroused, (even if I don't actually feel it if you know what I mean?) my headspace is actually elsewhere. In short, I just can't control my body's reactions.