Danger! Danger! You are entering the mind of Bob go no further because this is about words again and how they can mean one thing and at the same time mean something else
I am amazed on how much we skirt around issues when we try to define what we are talking about and how we interpret the words spoken.
Bobbie and I were talking to some like-minded friends the other day and we were talking about DD in general (what else would DD couples talk about) and we ended up talking about submission and what it meant to them. They said that it gave them great pleasure in making their man happy; doing little things to make his life easier and to show their apprehension in return of what he does for them.
We also talked about some of the different types of submission one could have such as she could do it as serving him, doing it out of love and of course, she is doing it because of his authority. All these are valid reasons for being acts of submission but as we cruising along in the conversation, I asked a simple question that I have been toying with for a long time, could an HOH be submissive to his wife while still being the HOH?
Therefore, the race started and like a scene in an old western movie, everyone went for their smart phones, went to their favorite search engine, and looked up what the definition of submission is as following:
World English Dictionary
submissive (səbˈmɪsɪv) of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility
A person in BDSM who submits to a Dominant person. A submissive can be a slave and/or the bottom (the person being tied up or whipped, etc.).
One who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift.
A male/female who is sexually submissive to their Master/Dom by choice. The "GIFT" if submission is earned by respect it's not just given.
The free dictionary
of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility
I then asked them, “Then according to your description and that of the 3 dictionaries of what submission is, then what does a HOH do when he pleases his tih?”
They said it was his job to make sure that his sub was happy and content that is why he does it, it was part of being a HOH.
“What do you call it when a wife goes out of her way to please her man is she being submissive?”
The answer was yes.
“If the woman serves her man before herself, what was it? If she does thing to make his life easier and more fulfilling and is doing it out of love?”
Again the same answer
Then I asked, “If it is ok to say that if she does all this for her HOH, she is submissive, but when we apply the same thing to the HOH he is not submissive because he is a HOH. Just because he is, the HOH does not mean he cannot be submissive to her needs or wants. Does this diminish his dominance because the HOH goes out of his way to please his wife to make sure she is lacking for nothing?
I think he can perform both, being a HOH and submissive at the same time because he is filling her need on different levels mentally and physically.”
If one was to strip away all the kink, rules, regulations and rituals of DD, to its bare essence, what you will see is two people going out of each other’s way trying to make one other happy and content. Neither being submissive nor dominant but being loved because when one is being loved, totally loved, who has a need for anything else.