Friday, May 24, 2013

Hi I'm Bobbie

Hello my name is Bobbie . I am Bob’s other half. I have been following his postings and I think it is time for me to come out and properly introduce myself to his blogging friends.
 
I am 58 years old and I am starting to enjoy getting spanked. It has been a long journey for me. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back and I will take you through that journey.
 
We have been married for what seems like forever.  Thirty-eight years later this year and although we had more good years than bad there was just something missing.  In the beginning Bob worked a lot of hours and I was left with making all the decision making fell in my lap. Being Bob worked so many hours he just nodded his head in approval and I handled everything. As the years went along I got more independent and that is when we realized that something was missing.
 
Bob quit his business and tried to get back into the decision making and that is when it seemed like we were always a bit off kilter with each other. By that I mean that we were good to each other but we didn’t go out of our way to let each other know what was happening. We ran into a lot of problems because neither one of us knew what we were doing.  If we had to do something as a couple or a team that is when tried to wrestle control from each other.
 
 I always knew Bob had a dark side to him and that he loved to spank me.  Because of the way we first approached it I was not comfortable with it.  It was too harsh.  I felt demeaned.  Like I was being put on the bottom rung of the ladder.  I should walk 15 steps behind him. It was an awful feeling because I knew that he loved me with his whole heart and soul.  I loved him beyond belief.

On behalf of his defense, being that it was the late 60s there was hardly any information on the proper way to conduct a proper spanking. He has been reading about spanking desires since he was 14 years old along with reading true detective and true romance stories (to those of you are too young to remember our moms just loved these two magazines). 
 
The first time he approached me with the D/D lifestyle, I didn’t want anything to do with it.  I told him to stay right where you are and I ran for the hills.  Nothing was said about it for a long time until about three years ago. We were both unhappy because it became a fight of who was in charge.  We realized both of us couldn’t be the leader.  There had to be a change. Bob went on the internet and was searching and he found a way to explain D/D to me. He explained it in such a way that it was no longer threatening nor demeaning to my self-esteem. Then he asked if I wanted to try it out in the bedroom to see if I would like it. At that time, he was involved in a chat room, Joannie and Friends to be exact, it is a D/D forum, and they kept asking for me to come in and talk (sound familiar?). At first I didn’t want anything to do with it.  Then I started to look over Bob’s shoulder  and realized they were wonderful people. They helped me come out of my shell and showed me the way of the D/D lifestyle.  Then Bob asked me if I would be interested in this type of lifestyle.  We agreed to keep it in the bedroom until I was comfortable and three years later here I am.  (Thank you to all my friends at Joannie and Friends).
 
We did a six week submission program.  It consisted of a spanking every day for six weeks. He did not spank me hard. It was more for me to get use to being over Bob’s knee and giving up control to him. I was very into work and I did not talk about my problems because I always tried to solve them thinking I could solve them myself. Through this exercise I have learned how to say “Us” instead of “Me” to include Bob in everything that I do. Although it doesn’t always work that way, we now know the danger signs when we both start to shut down.
 
Just as we were making big plans to come out of the bedroom, Bob’s knee decided that it needed to be replaced NOW!. And being the good wife that I am I couldn’t let him have all the fun so I decided to have a sciatic nerve attack. And that put us out of commission for three months. Which was a blessing because all we could do is talk.
 
We have been doing this for 5 months.  We have had our ups and downs, more of the former and less of the latter.  Yeah us!
 
Because of the experience difference that Bob wrote about, we are learning to communicate better than before and have learned to compromise. We are learning to convey our feelings, our wants, our needs, and finding a way to satisfy both desires.  We still keep in contact with the people in Joannie and Friends and have come in contact with some new friends and chat with them regularly and they have helped us out.  They have given us some great advice and walked us through some of our rough times.
 
Bobbie
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

46 comments:

  1. Hello and welcome, Bobbie.
    Very interesting to read about your journey from your point of view.

    I would like to learn more about how a woman at 58 years of age processes these thoughts on a DD . I do not know if you make a classic DD or if you have your own TTWD, but I have a question for you.
    How you accepted to be punished? (The word "punished" gives me nausea .. lol ..)

    Often we hear that it is the woman who wants to have DD. Here we have the opposite. What made you accept DD suggestions from Bob? Very interesting,write more, please.
    Hugs,
    Mona Lisa

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    1. Hi Monda Lisa!

      I promise I will write more. Trust me though it took me a long, long time to get this far. To tell you the truth one day it just finally clicked. I was actually enjoying the time that we had together during "Us" time. I had his full attention. No one else around. Just the two of us.

      And after a lot of ups and downs we really don't use spankings for "punishment". More stress relief. We use other means of "punishment" (I also hate this word). But I will wrte more about that later.

      Bobbie

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  2. Bobbie! Bob mentioned you were thinking of posting and I'm so glad you did!
    You have a knack for it and I hope we'll be hearing more from you :)
    Thank you for sharing with all of us and it's been wonderful getting to know you both.
    MrBBS

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    1. Hi MrBB!

      Yes I finally did it. And thank you for making me feel at ease and welcomed!

      Bobbie

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  3. Good to read this! You are in our age group and you have been together for the same time as we have.
    We gradually got into spanking, there was no case conference, it was just something that I felt I had to do as little arguments started to linger. The sex after is great, like make up sex after an argument.
    We don't do it every day either, just as and when needed.

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    1. Hi mrandmrsb!

      Ditto on the after party!

      Same here by the way. We don't do it every day. It now is a very special time because my dad now lives with us and we have a very small house. No where to hide so to speak. So we have to steal moments when he is at church or at his cermaic class.

      LOL

      Bobbie

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  4. Hey Bobby, so good to hear from you. You really do have a unique view here and it is very welcomed. It's one thing for many of us to asked to be spanked - quite another to be on the receiving end when it wasn't originally your idea. I'm glad it's coming out of the bedroom (although isn't that a nice room in which to have it!)

    I look forward to getting to know you better.

    Hugs,
    PK

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    1. Thanks for the welcom PK. I have heard a lot about you (all good of course) I do plan to write a bit here and there.

      Bobbie

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  5. Oh welcome Bobbie! Bob has often commented that we are similar, so it is nice to finally hear from you. It sounds like it has been quite the journey for the two of you to get 'here'. I am interesting in hearing more from you too. I am also interested in what your 6 weeks of submission entails aside from daily spankings.

    Welcome again, and hopefully you will become as comfortable with us as you were with Joannie and Friends :)
    willie

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    1. Hi Wilma!

      First of all I have become extremely comfortable with this group (scary huh?). I feel as if I have found a new family! I will be writing more about tttwd and I would be glad to write about the 6 weeks course, as I call it!

      Bobbie

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  6. Good to hear from you Bobbie, and to learn about your journey from your perspective. It is really all about communication, feelings and openness. hugs abby

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    1. Thanks for the welcom abby. Plan to write even more. Who know maybe I will take over Bob's blog!

      Bobbie

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  7. Thanks for your side Bobbie. Always nice to hear both sides of the coin.

    Have that sciatic problem right now, hate it.

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    1. hi sunnygirl!

      Your welcome!

      Oh I feel for you. That was the first time I had that problem where I was actually unable to walk, stand or sit. The only thing I could do was lay on my stomach on the floor. It was horrible.

      I felt so sorry for Bob because he could barely walk. He was almost crawling to get things done.

      Bobbie

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  8. Hello and welcome Bobbie,

    Great to hear from you. Love hearing from both sides.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  9. Hi Ronnie!

    thanks for the welcome.

    Bobbie

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  10. Hi Bobbie! It's wonderful to meet you and hear your take on things! My husband and I have been practicing DD for about 7 months now. I agree, it does get easier and smoother with time. We've about reached the point where it's hard to imagine living without it :) I had to smile at your realization that those in the chat rooms, etc., are just regular, normal, nice people. My husband thought the DD/TTWD community was some weirdo cult kind of thing at first. I have to say, I've never met a more wonderful, supportive group of people! I so look forward to reading more posts from you Bobbie. I think we learn something from every voice. Hope you and Bob have a fun holiday weekend. My husband and I are leaving in a few hours for a long overdue weekend getaway. Yay!!!!

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    1. Hi Queenie!

      So glad that the two of you are getting away. Hope you have fun! I'm jealous.

      Bobbie

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  11. Hello Bobbie and Welcome! Always nice to meet the 'other half'.

    Starman and I are in your age group too! I introduced him to spanking and we have been going for six months now. I have discovered just how much I enjoy being spanked - except for when my feisty self rears its ugly head! We don't have much in the way of rules, nor do I have to practise submissiveness, but it certainly seems to have changed our lives in lots of ways, especially in that we have become much closer, and we communicate more. Your household sounds as if it could have been a duplicate of ours for many years. I only wish I had known about all of this and introduced it sooner. It is most definitely working.

    Sorry to hear about the sciatica. I had it once too, and it is so very painful I lived on Ibuprofen.

    It'll be lovely to hear from you again.

    Hugs,

    Ami

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    1. Hi Ami

      Yes it certainly made our lives easier and more fun to tell you the truth

      Bobbie

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  12. Hi Bobbie!

    Bob's blog is one of my favorites - it's obvious he adores you and it's always nice to read from a husbands perspective. You both sound much younger and I think it's because you sound so much in love! (despite the knee replacement & sciatic nerve attack) :)

    I'm so glad you came here and introduced yourself! Hope you'll join us again!

    ((hugs))
    Cali

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    1. You bet I will back Cali. I will need ammunition for Bob. And thank you, you are as old as you feel. And today I feel about 30. There are some days though that I feel like 90. LOL

      Bobbie

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  13. Hello and welcome Bobbie!
    I look forward to hearing things from your perspective.
    Viola

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    1. thanks for the welcom Viola

      Bobbie

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  14. Lovely to meet you! While such a long wait without it seems too long, the benefit of being able to just talk can be priceless!

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    1. You are so right Julia the talking has been good. We have learned a lot by just talking.

      Bobbie

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  15. Hi Bobbie!!
    What a wonderful way to start my day!!! To be able to peak into someone's window who shares a very "secret" life, just like my own is so very refreshing! To think two months ago I was clueless that there are others asking the same questions I am asking, and who are walking in the same footsteps I am! Next to my HoH husband, not behind him in any way!!! I love hearing your thoughts, your experiences, expectations and questions. They so often mirror mine, for I appear to be taking such baby steps!! What I like most of all is the 6 week trial in order to teach submission! I am very, very, very sure I could have REALLY benefitted from this!! lololol. But, guess what.... I'm learning by listening and reading and talking to my wonderful bloggie friends!!! Well, except King Bob!!! lool. (I just HAD too, Bobbie!!) Thank you for sharing! It was wonderful and I want to read so much more!!! Pippi

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    1. Sorry it took me so long to respond Pippi. It has been so busy around here. I do plan to write more on here and I must say I am enjoying our journey together.

      Love ya!

      Bobbie

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  16. Dearest Bobbie,
    Thank you so much for sharing, you have touched our hearts with your words and openness. Dc and I are so happy to have met you.
    DC and Alice

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    1. The feelings are the same here Alice. It was fun talking to the two of you the other night. I am hoping for many more conversations with the two of you.

      Bobbie

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  17. Hi, Bobbie! I love Bob's blog, and he has also been very helpful to me in my journey with DD. I am glad you took time to introduce yourself, and I am glad you are talking and working through this process. It's amazing what you learn :)

    -Marie

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    1. Hi Marie!

      So glad I could share some of my thoughts with all of you.

      Bobbie

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  18. Hi, Bobbie. I finally came to visit Bob's blog, and landed on your introductory post. Glad to meet you, and welcome! Let Bob know I dropped by to say hi. ;-)

    Irishey

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    1. Hi Irishey:

      I am glad that you visited. I think that Bob is so very talented when it comes to writing out his thoughts and sharing them with everyone. Drop by often!

      Bobbie

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  19. Hi Bobbie. :) Sorry I'm late to the game. But I am am so glad to meet you. :) It has been so great to hear Bob's side of things, but I really look forward to seeing yours now too. :) My husband write periodically on my blog too. So much fun. :) I hope you do keep making friends on here, I might be biased, but the people here have so much love and support to give.

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    1. It is never too late! :o) But to tell you the truth my side is really so much better!

      Thanks for making me feel welcomed.

      Bobbie

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  20. Hi Bobbie,

    It's very nice to meet you. I hope you will contribute more as time goes by, so we can hear your side of the story.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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    1. Thank you for the welcome Hermione! I will try to write more as time goes on.

      Bobbie

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  21. It's nice to meet you Bobbie! Thanks for saying hello and sharing your point of view. ;)

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    1. Thank you for stopping by Grace

      Bobbie

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  22. Hi Bobbie, I'm sorry I am so late in leaving a comment. I have been playing a bit of catch up. I just wanted to say Hi and welcome!

    It's great to meet you and always good to hear from both partners. I hope we will hear more from you :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  23. You can count not me to put in another appearance! You have not heard the last of me! Thank you for the wonderful welcome!

    Bobbie

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    1. Oops that should be count on! Dumb computer!

      Bobbie

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  24. Bobbie,
    I'm so behind in my reading! Must be all the chatting! Lol!
    So glad Alec & I have had the chance to get to know you and Bob. You've both become special to us and are an inspiration to so many!
    I look forward to learning more and hope you come back to post often!
    (Hugs doll!)
    Cat

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  25. I'm trying to come up with my next post as I write this. I don't know how Bob comes up with all of his.

    Must be all the back log from wishing and a hoping all these years.

    I have so enjoyed talking to the two of you!

    Bobbie

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  26. very nice to meet you, Bobbie! :-) Take care, Terps

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