Friday, March 29, 2013

What goes through the mind of a HOH?

 
 

Disclaimer these are my thoughts on how I feel when handling discipline

 Many emotions run through my head trepidation, sadness, self-doubt, pride, hurt and happiness when it is time for Bobbie’s discipline. One would think from all the books about discipline spanking that it would be a walk through the park. A simple over the top example would be something like this man takes his wife over his knee spanks her some pulls down her pants spanks some more then pulls down panties and spanks harder then they jump in bed and life is good. However, as we all know that an’t the way it happens well at lest for me it does not.

When Bobbie has to get over my knee and it’s not for fun, I am not a happy camper, nope not at all, because I am the one that will be causing her pain and even worse, on some occasions I am the one that will make her cry. I don’t know of any man worth his salt enjoying doing that.

Self-doubt plays havoc on my mind because I am running the whole scenario did I hear her right was it really her fault, how long should I do this if she fights me what then?

Sadness, I sometimes feel if I paid more attention to her she would not be here and I am sad that it could be resolved any other way.

When Bobbie submits to her punishment I feel pride because she is owning up to her mistakes she has taken ownership of it and is saying to me I am sorry lets get this behind us so we can continue to walk together.

When the spanking is finely done, I am happy because the rift between us has ended and we can see better days again. 

 I am sure that we grow old together in the new lifestyle my emotions that I described will change; some will fall to the way side and probably new ones will take their place.

I would like to hear from the other HOH about what runs through their minds while doing a punishment spanking and no you women are not off the hook I would like to hear your side of the tale to, I think it would be very interesting to hear about it from your end also.

Bob



  1. I don't think I am worth much salt because I have no trouble with making a woman cry, never mind if I like her very much. It may be just what she needs and is silently asking for. Crying is a sign of release of tension and that is sometimes very therapeutic. Isn't it possible Bobbie might appreciate being brought to tears occasionally?

    It's very difficult to make my wife cry as she is very tough in that respect - a kind of toughness I sometimes feel she would be better off without. Like a shell around her emotions.
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good questions Malcolm

      Bobbie hates to cry bring back bad memories from the past so that won't do

      Her and I are talking about it so we will see

      Bob
      Delete
  2. Hey Bob...You are definitely not alone. Ward, Clint, Jim (guest post on Clint's) and Mick have written about how hard it is and some of these same emotions. I'm sure there are other HoH's who have written similar things that I just haven't read. And my Matthew used to talk to me about how bad he felt when he had to discipline me. I can count on one hand the number of times I cried due to the actual spanking...most of the time, the tears started during the lecture when I realized just how much I had disappointed him and let us both down...but yes, the tears were cathartic.

    I'm sure you will both find what works best for you...sending lots of positive energy your way!

    Blessings,
    Cat
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have read some of the mention posts and that most guys go through this but it is still hard for me to rap my head around it.

      Yup we will find a happy medium? to make this work.

      Bob
      Delete
  3. Hi Bob,

    Firstly, I want to say thank you for a great an insightful post. It's always good to see the HoH perspective. When it comes to punishment, being on the receiving end, it's too easy to focus on my thoughts, feelings, the physical pain etc and not think about what he is going through.

    As Cat said, you are definitely not alone. I think many HoH's experience the same emotions when it comes to discipline.

    Hugs,
    Roz
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou Roz, Cat for your incourment

      It just feels different than spanking for fun a whole new mind set

      Bob
      Delete

Let the Races Begin


It is time, Bobbie and me are at the starting gate, we hear the voice over the PA system say “On your mark get set” and as the starting gate is opening, Bobbie turns her head side ways to make sure I am in position and the announcer finishes his phrase “GO.” With the gate, fully open Bobbie and Bob are walking around the track of TTWD.  We are going to be known  as Slowskies because if anything that all you experienced blogers have written and preached about by your writings is go slow and that’s what we are going to try too do.
Yes, today is the first day of our new relationship; we are both healthy and running strong. We have communicated, planed, re-planed, and then planed again. We have the blueprints in front of us and we have survived the first 30 min without an argument because it took us 30 minutes to figure out the blueprint was upside down. Wish us luck.

 For your enjoyment
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpSmprqptSk

Bob

Thursday, March 28, 2013

More questions 3


Kenzie:   What is your dream vacation?

and if you had to throw out one of your spanking implements which one would it be?  

We would love to take a cruise to go to Alaska and stay on the main land for a week

What throw out one of my babies? No Way would Bobbie definitely be upset with me because I would only be throwing out one J

PK:   I do have a follow up question - what was Bobbies reaction the very first time you spanked her for something other than just a fun/sexy spanking. 

ES May  Because you initiated DD, I'm wondering how Bobbie handled her first spanking? Some of her other first punishments? And do you see a change in both of you now?

When Bobbie got her first spanking she was absolutely not a

Happy camper she swore that she would never put herself in that position again. She said that I hit her to hard and I made her cry. Three days later, we talked about it and she admits that it did help her and she has come to terms with it.

Before I spanked her I hit the inside of my forearm to gauge how hard I was going to spank her, when I hit myself it stung just a little.

I think that she cried because she was all pent up and didn’t know what I was going to do. I spanked her 9 times over her jeans with a light hairbrush.

This was her first punishment spanking so far there has been no other.

Yes, I have noticed a difference even from us doing it in just the bedroom we think before we bite each others head off,

We are more aware of our needs and we help each other more.
 


  Menilie  Do you find the TTWD lifestyle challenging, at times- or is it much easier than you expected?

No, challenging for sure I try to pay attention to Bobbie more than I have in the past, being consistent is tough for me because at times I am to laid back. I do more things around the house to make things easier for her. But I wouldn't give this up because she tries to do the same for me.



Bob

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

question and a Mental Test


One last question and answer then a Mental Test

Melcom    I would like to ask another, more important, question: How did you introduce the idea of DD to Bobbie? Was she willing from the start to accept DD? What was her initial reaction?

 
 
The short story is, I convinced her it was a better way for us to live, not by me lording over her, but us working together to get the things that we want. I proved to her that by the both of us independently trying to get from point a to b that we were actually hurting our cause because neither one of us knew what the other was doing or saying, thus causing most of our hardships that was going through in our lives.

When she first heard this foreign concept she told me in two words “No Way” So we talked and I explained what DD really is about not to demean her but to help her. She finely figured it out and we tried it on a temporary time to see how it would go.
  
Last chance to ask me some questions if you do ask away




                                       Mental Test

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Harvard University .
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.

The average person over 45 years of age cannot do it!


1.This is this cat.

2. This is is cat.

3. This is how cat.

4. This is to cat.

5. This is keep cat.

6. This is an cat.

7. This is old cat.

8. This is fart cat.

9. This is busy cat.

10. This is for cat.

11. This is forty cat.

12. This is seconds cat.


Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down



Bob

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Games


                                          

Do you like playing games? I love playing games whither it being card games or board games. I like them because of the interaction that I get when playing with other people and plus you get to learn what makes them tick.  

The games that I want to talk about here are the types of games that you play to keep your DD mojo going while things are hectic and you really can’t connect in that DD way you would like to. When we aren’t in our DD mode for what ever reason it may be, I like to play games with Bobbie to keep her thinking about our respective rolls even when we can’t be in them.

One of my favorite games is playing slug a bug, remember the game? When you’re traveling down the road you see a VW beetle you yell out "slug a bug" and in the old days you got to slug your opponent in the arm because you spotted it first but the way we play it now is that the loser (Bobbie) would get one spank instead of the hit in the arm for every VW that I would spot before her and we would keep track of who was winning untill a agreed upon date and then payment would be required at that time.

Another game that we like to play when we are at a mall or park sitting down is people watching, we will pick out a couple or a person and say I think they either spank or do other kinky stuff and who is the top or bottom, now we all know there is no way of knowing if they are or aren’t but it does wonders for Bobbie because it keeps her mind on us.

While driving from here to there and we are tired of listening to the radio we play this game tell me a fantasy although this is sometimes a quick game it lets me in on how she is feeling, were she is at plus I get good ideas on what to do to her when we do get to play.

Oh by the way if your wondering if I ever lose at playing slug a bug the answer is no because I seam to always spot more VW’s then her but I have a hunch that Bobbie likes losing just so that she can get spanked but that just a hunch WEG

What games do you play when your DD mojo is not up to par?
Bob

Saturday, March 23, 2013

Strange Vacation

This is part 2 of  "The Strange Vacation," if you haven't read part one yet please go to Elis Blog  New Beginnings  she has the first part of the story. We hope you enjoy it  and thanks for stopping by


 Oberon is looking at the unfolding events in front of him in fascination wondering what he is going to do ro her, while listening to Tana screaming for him to let her go and other worldly words of what she is going to do to him when she gets out.


Tom clasping her hands in his and looks her in the eyes “what was it that I told you not to do”


Sue stammering “a, a, not to ah buy hum any thing a at the store” her mouth suddenly goes desert dry


“That’s right and what did I say that was going to happen to you if you did?”


 “That I was going to be one sorry girl and I was not going to be able to sit down for a couple of days?”


“See your memory is returning to you and how am I going to do that?


“Tom please don’t make me say it can’t you just do it, please?”


“Don’t make it any harder on yourself than it already is now tell me”


With a sigh of defeat she said, “You, your going to s-sp spank me, there happy now”


 “No I am not happy about it, not at all” as he unbuckles her belt.


Oberon now totally mesmerized by what is unfolding in front of him and thinking of a way to do this to his wife Tana.


A whimper escapes from Sue’s mouth as she is watching her shorts being lowered down to her knees “Please Tom can’t we talk about this? I am sorry I don’t know why I bought that jacket it was like I had to buy it.”


“We are fixing it right now” as he pulls her over his lap adjusting her in the right position for her spanking


Looking at the carpet, she turns her head looking at Tom “Please forgive me. I am sorry Tom. I really don’t know why I bought it I truly don’t” as the first of many swats hits her buttocks.


Oberon watching the scenario unfolding before him suddenly is starting to feel differently, more empowered as if for the first time he is confident in being a male.


Tom smacking her ass as if marching up and down a football field making sure every inch of her backside is an even shade of dark pink. “Am I helping you in getting your memory back yet?”


Taking deep breaths and drumming her legs into the carpet “Yes, yes, you are ouch, ouch, not on the same spot that hurts ouuuuuuuch”


Giving her that same age old answer that no one wants to hear while they are getting spanked “spankings are suppose to hurt my dear” as he assaults her rear end stopping

long enough to pull her panties down to her knees and rubs her butt so she can catch her breath.




Feeling the cold air wash across her flanks and his hand working their magic by rubbing up and down her buns, she starts mewing and moving her rear on his lap. With half closed eyes Sue says “if you let me up I’ll reward you handsomely for showing me mercy. I can tell you want to” wiggling harder on his lap.


Oberon is totally enthralled at the event that is unfolding in front of him and almost lost control of his spell of keeping his very angry wife in her little prison. Tana yelling at him to let her go and is describing a every painful way that she was going to get even with him for what he has done to her. 


Tom rubbing her butt groaning at the way she is grinding on his lap and making him very uncomfortable, he almost gave in but he had a lesson to teach her. With his hand on the small of her back his grip tightens and brings her closer to him “tempting my dear but we have unfinished business to tend to” he renews his assault on her tush concentrating on her sit spot.


Sue, now abandoning to try seducing her husband is now consecrating on the burn in her backside is pounding the carpeting with her fists and her feet. The slap, slap, slap on her derriere correlates to the burn, burn, burn on her sit spot. Then suddenly the pain starts to shift to pleasure as she starts to feel the wetness between her legs and she starts raising her butt to meet his now pleasurable hand.


Tana is now starting to wonder if she will be released from her prison, is now starting to calm down and thinking that she may have been a tad bit wrong in meddling in the creature’s affairs. Then just as fast as she thought she was wrong her anger took over and she started to use all her magic to get out and to hurt her husband for what he has done to her.


Tom feeling her body relaxing slows down the spanking and starts rubbing her butt and going between her legs feeling her and finding her wetness, Sue moans loudly as he presses first one finger then two into her honey pot.


Oberon has learned everything that he needs to do to his wife to take her in hand. He is grateful for the creature's for unknowingly teaching him what to do. He starts to figure out a plan to teach his wife a lesson.


Tom lifts Sue up from his lap and positions her on his knees making sure that her butt is hanging off collecting the cool air around her scorched cheeks. He rubs her back with one hand and the other is seeking out the wetness between her legs. Telling her that he forgives her and starts talking to her in a low voice of all the things he is going to do to her as soon as he gets her on the bed.


Sue gasps in surprise “no way you can’t do that, are you?” Her hips are on a mission to prove her wrong and that yes indeed he can and will do every thing he said and more.


With a great shake the drawer that was Tana’s prison popped open and in all her female fury she starts to say an incantation to punish everyone that was in the room for her embarrassment.


However Oberon was immediately there and grabbed her by her arm and flew her to the top of the dresser. With great rage, Tana unleashed her fury at him thinking that she sent him to some other world and when she opened her eyes to her astonishment, he was still there.


Oberon roars enough “you have done enough damage to last a life time but this ends today. You will submit to me or you will face my wrath”


Tana still blinded by her fury says “I will never bow to you my husband for you are too gentle and are afraid of me, so be gone and let me do what I want to these wretched creatures. They are both pathetic grabbing each other like that.”   


The eyes of Oberon grow dark and the wind starts to twirl around the room. He picks her up and roughly puts her over his knees “How dare you confuse my kindness for weakness. I have warned you to obey me and what do you do? You mock me for this insolence you will be punished”


“What trickery is this? You holding me over your lap is this the fury you speak of? I tremble in your presence.”


 Raising his hand high above his head, he lets loose a volley of stinging spanks to her derriere splat, spank, and spank, spank “how does this feel wife?


Tana feels the hard spanks on her butt “ouch, owe, ouch what are you doing to me? What sorcery is this? Stop this now”


While delivering several slaps to her backside, Oberon has found a rhythm in spanking his wife "You my dear are going nowhere until you promise me no more medaling” he continues to spank the meaty part of her butt but then he remembers the creature striking the bottom part of her butt and tries that. Her howls were the only response he needed to hear.


Tana really jumps when he struck her lower part of her butt by her thighs. Suddenly she feels a hand on the lower part of her dress and it was following up the contour of her legs and stops just below the top of her hips “what are you doing to me? Stop this now before you really regret this ,stop it I say”


Oberon has never seen any thing so stunning in all his years of life while looking at the red buttocks “obviously you have learned nothing, but before the stars hide for the day you will be repentive of your deeds...” he starts spanking her again “do I make myself clear wife?”


Starting to feel distraught, Tana is swinging her legs up and down and her hand reaches back to protect the assault on her rear, but he grabs the hand and pins it to the middle of her back with out missing a beat on her mounds. “Ouch, stop, ouch, ok, ok lets make a deal ouch”


Oberon knows he has won but wants to make sure that she understands what will happen if she ever does this again. He pulls her green panties down to her knees and hears a loud screech form Tana.


The realization has finely come to Tana that her husband has bested her and there is nothing for her to do but to concede and agree to what his demands are. When she feels her last protection of her backside is taken down she breaks “no please don’t take them down please show mercy, I concede, I concede, I will do what ever you want but just stop”


Oberon was about to stop when he just remembered the final flurry of spanks the creature gave before he stopped. Smiling to himself, he steels himself for the finale. Once again, he starts to spank not only her butt but also her thighs “mercy, you want mercy when you never gave any?” swat, splat “are you going to listen to me from now on?” spank


“Yes, ouch aaaiiiiiiiii, yes I will I will never do it again” as she starts to cry


“Will you obey me?”


Howling “Yes please stop I am on fire I beseech you to have mercy on me”


“I think a little more and we will see if what you say is true wife of mine”


“Oh yes I promise, I promise I will” suddenly all the resistance that she had has left her body and she just lays there taking her spanking and sobbing


Oberon gives her ten hard spanks on her sit spot and when she does not move he stops spanking her “It is over now Tana your punishment is over I forgive you” He picks her up and places her on his knee, soothing her while she hiccups and cries on his shoulder.


Tana is listening to him tell her how proud he was of her and she somehow felt closer to him than in a millium. She wipes her nose on his shirt telling him that she was truly sorry for what she has done.


Suddenly there is a loud shriek in the room, Oberon looks up and sees the two creature's pointing their fingers at them and then the room is quiet.


Tom stammers “wa, what are you? Can you understand me?”


Oberon realizes that while he was spanking his wife he let the spell down so they can be seen. He lifts Tana up and holds her tight “yes we understand you”


Sue “how did you get here” as she is hiding behind Tom


“Let me introduce ourselves my name is King Oberon and this is my wife Queen Tana. We live in another time and dimension and the earrings are our method of travel.” Grabbing his wife closer he proceeds to tell them what happened and apologized to Tom and Sue for being the brunt of Tana’s wrath. “Just because she was mad at me she took her anger out on you to strike back at me. Thanks to you, you have taught me how to keep my wife in hand.


I, we owe you our gratitude for saving Tana from hurting other life forms.”


Tom and Sue looking at each other “we taught you how?”


“When I was observing your method of helping your female mate to relinquish her control I knew that was what I needed to make Tana understand to stop her destructive nature. What do you call that what you did?


Sue laughing behind Tom’s back “oh my gosh who would have thought. We umm call it spanking”


 “That is what we will call it then Spanking. Tana apologize to them for your repulsive attitude.”’


Tana’s mouth opens up but nothing comes out. She closes it and starts to get angry again. “How dare you make me apologize to these creature's?  I apologize to no one.”    


No sooner did the words leave her mouth she found herself back over her husband’s knees again with her dress up and panties down being spanked.


Oberon spanking her for all he was worth “How dare you embarrass me again. Obviously you have learned nothing.” Concentrating on her sit spot, he continued to spank. Tana was beside herself. Soon she was promising every one anything they wanted. She wanted this spanking to be over. “Are you learning your lesson?” slap, spank “not talking? Well I will do this all day if I have to. Do you understand?”


Tana wailing loudly “aaarrrrrrgggg yes yes I have learned my lesson. I will not do any of this again. Please boo hooo! boo hooo! Oberon have ouch, mercy plleeesssseee” she gives up all hope of being released and just lays there sobbing into her hands


Oberon stops spanking her “are you ready to apologize now” he gives one more swat just to make sure he means it.


Struggling to get off his lap her hands go back to her butt and she screeches from just touching her rump looking very contrite “I, I am sniff so sorry f for hurting y you please forgive me”  


She stiffly walks to her husband and takes her place by his side looking at him with new respect.


Oberon asked Tom “Would you be so gracious as to take us back to our original location? We need to be at that location to get back home because we do not have enough fuel to return.  


Oberon satisfied that Tana is sincere in her apologies, thanks Tom and Sue again for unknowingly helping them with their problem.


Tana and Oberon walk hand in hand to their ship wave good bye and enter into their ships (earrings).


Sue picks up the earrings and puts them in her pocket, smiling she latches on to Tom’s arm to return to the antique store. When they arrive at the store, no one is there Sue is yelling hello and looking for the old lady. When no one answers, she was looks at Tom to find out what to do when all of a sudden the old lady was standing next to her. Both Sue and Tom jumped when the old lady touches both of their arms


She said “oh how nice you two came back. What can I do for you sweetie?”


Sue holding her chest “We came back to return this pair of earrings that you gave me, we are done using them”


With a twinkle in the old woman’s eyes said “Yes, yes, I know young lady yes indeed you are done aren’t you”


Sue places the earrings in the old woman’s hand and closes her deformed fingers around the earrings saying “thank you for lending us the earrings that was nice of you”


“No, thank you for keeping them safe for me” she places the earrings right were they were before Sue took them.


Sue and Tom glance at each other then turn to say goodbye to her but she is nowhere to be found. They quickly leave the store never to speak of it again.


 


 


The End

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

I still would love to get questions if you are interested in asking them


Questions & Answers



Rox: What is the most positive change you have seen in yourself and in your relationship since incorporating it?

 Several changes have happened since we have started this new lifestyle. We treat each other with more respect and we are more attentive to each other. I pay more attention when Bobbie is talking; I now put down what I am doing, look at her to make sure that I am hearing what she is saying. 

Bobbie’s temper is still there but not as volatile as it has been in the past. I can tell that she is really working on her temper, her mouth opens and then she shuts it right away then she walks away. J

Our communication skills have improved 10 fold.

 
MG:   Bob, this is my first comment on your page.

I wonder .. Usually starts with DD when something is not working in their marriage and want to change that and usually it's a woman who wants to change.

If I remember correctly, in your marriage, it was you who started with DD. Why? What was the purpose of that? I do not know if you use punishment spanking of your DD but if so, I wonder .... how can you persuade a strong, independent woman to take this pain? (Sincere said I do not understand how any woman can take it ..)

 
First of all let me say thank you MG for stopping by to ask me these questions.

Yes, I am the person that wanted a DD relationship in our house. I got tired of fighting over the same problems year after year and never getting past square one. I had to bring control back to our lives. We have used spanking as a punishment but mostly it’s taking something important away from her, books, TV, computer that is what hurts her the most.

We use spankings for erotic adventures, but we are talking about using it for punishment.

If I may make a suggestion to you, have Sincere explain the difference between good pain and bad pain that might help you understand it more. 

 
Julia:     How do you feel about corner time?

 
We used it a few times with limited effect; Bobbie hated it she said it was a waist of time because she thought of every thing but what she in the corner for. She did find some dust bunnies hanging on the ceiling though. J

 
Christina   What is the story of how you and Bobbie met? Did one or both of you fall in love right away? When did you know she was the one you were going to spend your life with?

If you had the chance to redo the career part of your life, would you make a change or keep the path you've taken?

How do you feel about potato chips? Love 'em/ Hate 'em/ Ambivalent about 'em?

 
Well in a galaxy far far away… opps wrong story A good friend asked me to go to her high school graduation party as she was saying hi to me she pored hot coffee on my lap.

She fell in love with me first after dating 6 weeks. It took me a few months to figure it out.  

I would not do any thing to change my career, I was blessed the way it went

No potato chips are allowed in the house because we would eat them in one sitting.

 

Cat    Hey Bob...Knowing what you know now, do you think there is anything you could have done when you and Bobbie first got together to successfully introduce TTWD into your relationship?

 

 I think about this question a lot more than I should and as much as I want to say yes, the sad truth is we just weren’t ready no matter what we did.  
 
 
Bob

 

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS CONTINUED

 

Queenie:  I'm wondering if, as a new HoH, did you in the beginning or still, worry about really hurting Bobbie? I know that was an issue for my hubby the first few times.


No that thought never crossed my mind because:

  1. Bobbie would not be on my lap if the spanking hurt her real bad, I do not force her to get a spanking she either accepts it or not.
  2. I am a spanko and besides what good is a spanking if it doesn’t hurt just a little? WEG.
  3. We have just incorporated punishment spankings and going slow with it.

Stormy :    What is the biggest obstacle you have overcome in ttwd? How did you resolve it? Or is it ongoing?


Bobbie’s procrastination, that by far drives me nuts when she tells me she will have xxx done by a certain time and then doesn’t do it.

That was the rule #1, no more procrastination, If she does do it, she knows that I will take certain things from her like reading, computer etc. We are incorporating spanking into the mix but going slow with it.

She still procrastinates L but she is more aware of it happening now and at times, she will tell me when she can’t make her appointed time. If the reason is fair then I will ask her when she will get it done and give her the time needed.

The reason I do it this way is that I want it all on her so she can’t say I was responsible for her not getting it done.

Malcolm:   I would like to ask you, Why THREE Ts in TTTWD in your blog header? What's the third one for?

It is This Thing That We Do, I thought that it would stand out from the other TTWD when you search for it on the web but it didn't. By the time I found out I just left it like that.
 




 


I have enjoyed answering your questions if there are any more please ask

 

Bob

Sunday, March 17, 2013





Being that March is question, answer month and I am new to this community, and I would like to extend an invitation to ask me questions that you may or may not want to know about me.


Bob

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

What would you do?


 

  A few days ago, we had a discussion with a woman friend of ours and she wanted to know what the statue of limitation is on not telling the truth to her husband was?

I suspect that she is in a DD relationship because the way she talks about how her husband is leading their household.

She told us that her husband told her to cancel a $2000 contract they had with XYZ Company one year ago and she forgot. After he has repeatedly asked her if she canceled the contract she told him yes meaning to pay it the next day, at the time she was under a lot of stress because she often gets real bad migraines and she works full time at a stressful job. Well, the bill came due 4 months ago and this time she did pay the bill in full but did not tell her husband.

He does know that she has paid the bill late and she did get the contract canceled because he found the paper work saying the contract was not renewed and paid in full

When he approached her about it, she lied to him, saying that it was the companies fault for losing the check, which is why it took so long to pay it.

Now she is feeling guilty for lying to him and of not telling him the real reason why she did not pay it on time.

My question is, should she tell her husband the truth of why the contract didn’t get paid on time or should she just keep quite and not say anything at all?

The answer that I told her was that if he accepted her answer and that he has not asked her about it any more then it was ok to drop it. Now thinking about it more, I may have led her astray. My answer should have been for her to tell her husband the real reason why the contract was not canceled and then accept what ever her husband says after that.

The reason I changed my mind was that by telling lies it destroys the foundation of trust that you have built with you spouse, how can he ever make the right decisions if the information given to him by you is false. It wouldbe like building your foundation on sand, it would always be shifting never steady.

I think I am going to call her and tell her that my previous answer was in error and that she should tell him the real story of what happened.

Have you ever withheld information from your spouse so that you would not get into trouble or a spanking over?

 
B0b

    

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Starting DD Take 4


 In the beginning stages of our DD relationship like every one else we had our usual ups and downs trying to find out what worked and what didn’t work and at times I tend to get antsy, upset and darn right confused because when we talk about changing or modifying our little dynamic lifestyle supposedly we are all on the same page then for some reason or another at the last minute she would change her mind and then back down.

 While she was having one these melt downs I would be leaning up against the wall with my hands folded across my chest trying to look all domly (that’s what the “How To Be Domly” book said to do, it’s right here on page 923)  J while in my mind I am saying here comes another set back while I am banging my head on the wall. As I am applying an ice pack on my forehead to reduce the swelling, I was assessing what the damage was so that I could figure out how to salvage what I thought I had lost in this last conflict.

We ended up stopping all activities with TTWD until we could identify the problem with these melt downs and hopefully fix them. What we did for the next few weeks was talk, and then talk some more on why she would shut down or if we even should continue to do DD.

While we were talking I brought my volumes of binders of my rules regulations and all the wonderful things I wanted to do to her and Bobbie brought her index card of the rules that she was going by. As soon as I seen the list between the two of us I knew I was in trouble, we talked and compared our notes.

After a few pots of coffee with Bobbie and I staring at each other with a bunch of talking to each other. What we found out was that we were at different levels in our experience of DD, what was normal for me was by no means normal for her that is when she would yell foul and shut down. Being that I was a bit slow that day and I had my best confused look on my face she explained it this way. She said “you have been thinking, dreaming of doing this stuff forever and you have a set way you want to do this, yes I do like it when you take control, watch over me and make me accountable for some of the things that I do but other than that I have no idea on how much I want this to be in our life or where I want to go with this.” 

In my glee to start this I ended up breaking one of DD’s biggest commandments not taking her into consideration on how she felt about the whole thing. Here I was like a kid in a candy shop taking all the candy I could and not thinking about the consequences of eating all that candy.

Bobbie’s sin was not telling me that she didn’t care for some of the things that we were trying because she was afraid that I would get mad at her.

  Although we both fell short of the mark we were able to pick each other up and continue our walk through DD land.


Bob

Monday, March 4, 2013

What goes through the mind of a HOH?


 

Disclaimer these are my thoughts on how I feel when handling discipline

 Many emotions run through my head trepidation, sadness, self-doubt, pride, hurt and happiness when it is time for Bobbie’s discipline. One would think from all the books about discipline spanking that it would be a walk through the park. A simple over the top example would be something like this man takes his wife over his knee spanks her some pulls down her pants spanks some more then pulls down panties and spanks harder then they jump in bed and life is good. However, as we all know that an’t the way it happens well at lest for me it does not.

When Bobbie has to get over my knee and it’s not for fun, I am not a happy camper, nope not at all, because I am the one that will be causing her pain and even worse, on some occasions I am the one that will make her cry. I don’t know of any man worth his salt enjoying doing that.

Self-doubt plays havoc on my mind because I am running the whole scenario did I hear her right was it really her fault, how long should I do this if she fights me what then?

Sadness, I sometimes feel if I paid more attention to her she would not be here and I am sad that it could be resolved any other way.

When Bobbie submits to her punishment I feel pride because she is owning up to her mistakes she has taken ownership of it and is saying to me I am sorry lets get this behind us so we can continue to walk together.

When the spanking is finely done, I am happy because the rift between us has ended and we can see better days again. 

 I am sure that we grow old together in the new lifestyle my emotions that I described will change; some will fall to the way side and probably new ones will take their place.

I would like to hear from the other HOH about what runs through their minds while doing a punishment spanking and no you women are not off the hook I would like to hear your side of the tale to, I think it would be very interesting to hear about it from your end also.

 

Bob