Do you feel important at work where you are the go to guy/woman that they call upon to go into the workplace and slay the dragons that are plaguing the office or the IT team and when you come home you run your household the same way with such efficiency?
Are you the homeowner who always has it under control the perfect hostess who has an immaculate house, says just the right thing at the right time to fix whatever the family needs? You try to please everyone all the time by being the showcase TIH?
Then you are what I call the Super HOH and Super TIH who in the eyes of the lesser beings (newbies) look up to you in wonder wishing they could be like that. ZAP! You just stopped your wife from having a major melt down. POW! You put off your lunch with your mother to do some errands for your husband because he is too busy being needed elsewhere. BANG! Both of you struggle to clean the house after you do your flashy stunts for the masses. Like in the comic books we super heroes look… well super. We got it all together but do we really have it together?
Like all Super heroes we have a nemesis who is called time. For you see in order to be this super hero we have to give something up and what that is depends on what type of super hero you are but we all have the same down fall. Time does not stand still for anyone. It keeps on ticking and moving at an ever constant pace not caring what we do at any given time. In order for us to be super heroes we knowingly and sometimes unknowingly have to give up something to keep our persona up of being the perfect HOH or TIH.
Another nemesis is “I can do that”. This evil doer is subtle. He knows how to make you feel important while he is working hand in hand with Time using “I can do that” together making you think you’re doing a great job.
Let’s travel to the mythical Domestic Discipline city Villa where Vader Bob and his sidekick Bobbie live with Walter their sometime butler. What we see is a couple that is totally together. They are suave, sophisticated, and they say all the right things. They are cool. Everyone wants to be like them (this is my story and can tell it how I want LOL). They try to give back to the DD community as it has helped them when they were learning the ropes.
We see Bobbie and she has an immaculate house, everything is in place, the laundry is all done her dad is a happy camper she is keeping Vader Bob happy and she is in chat talking to friends and when someone new comes in she greets them answering question when applicable. As we watch her more closely, we notice things are slipping a bit. She is not holding it together like we thought.
If we look in the closet we see clothes that need to be folded and put away. Dinner is late because she was talking to a friend who was having problems or she was trying to fold cloths because her husband told her she has been slacking off and needs to get her act together or else. Because she doesn’t know how to say no to her friends or complete what she has promised she gets mad at her hubby because now he is upset that he don’t have underwear to wear so the arguments start.
First it is a remark under her breath but as the day goes on she gets madder and starts saying more than she should have. Now it is a full blown argument and the final recourse is a spanking to reset her attitude.
Now let’s travel to Vader Bob’s work place. We see him at the top of his game being the trouble shooter for his IT department barking orders to save the day. He is smiling while he works long hours because he is thinking that by him working all these hours he is helping Bobbie be more comfortable in running her household but he notices that when he comes home little things such as the house not being as clean as it was when he was working normal hours.
When Vader Bob comes home he is not greeted at the door like he used to be. Now he is greeted by the dogs. While having dinner he notices she is on edge. She don’t smile like she used to, so he goes into super hero mode trying to fix her problems but missing the boat because he never realized what was really wrong was he was AWOL from the family because he is working long hours.
That she had to take up the slack of making all the decisions on top of her own chores to take care of the household.
Yes being a super hero is tough. But you know what I have found out? I don’t have to be a super hero to everybody. Just the ones I love and those friends that are like family to us, those are the ones that matter the most. I have found out that when I am a super hero to everyone that is when my arch enemy Time and “I Can Do It” has control over me because he has convinced me to give up valuable time away from my family.
I am also learning to control Time to make it do my bidding. By prioritizing things that are the most important then working down from there and that may even mean that something’s may not get done by the end of the day but I will know in the eyes of my family I am able to leap over dust bunnies in a single bound and able to carry heavy clothes basket up the stairs for my wife while I struggle to figure out the new math with the kids and when the day is done and standing proud with my cape flapping in the breeze knowing I am a super hero to my family.