Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Work vs Wives

This post is just my opinion on how I see one of many problems that plague us in any type of loving relationship be it a DD, D/s or good old vanilla relationship, although this is geared for the DD relationship.
 
If our boss came up to us and told us that we were being promoted to regional sales and when we took the job over, would we do it as if we didn’t care in the world if it got done or not, or would we do our new job to the best of our abilities? Of course, we would give 100 percent of our attention to do your best because we now have people depending on us for instructions and guidance.
 
When our golfing, do we plan on shooting the highest score possible even though at times that is what it looks like we are doing, again the answer is no, we try to shoot our best lowest score.
 
When your aim is off and we are having a terrible day, do we tell our comrades that we will meet them in the clubhouse, although I have thought it would be better to have a few beers it’s a lot easier and less tiring. We would try adjusting our stance, your swing, heck at times I was so desperate I even changed the brand of the golf ball.
 
When changing a faucet do we buy the cheapest product that we can find or do we buy the middle to top of the line? Most of us probably would pick the middle of the road, why because it would hopefully last many more years than the cheap one.
 
Then why is it when our spouse comes up to us and tells us their deepest intimate secrets and possibly a solution to ending the strife and bickering and maybe even bring world peace to our marriages and what do we do? We don’t give it our full attention, here is an example, a wife comes up to her husband and explains to him that she has a desire to have a DD relationship in the household and after the particulars are ironed out between the two partners.
 
Everything is set and the husband and wife are on board, the first time a rule is broken we take her into the bedroom and conduct our business, spanking her as we said you would.
A few weeks or a couple weeks days later the same thing happens we are either tired or watching TV, it needs our attention but we don’t feel like dealing with it right now, so we tell her that tomorrow she will be spanked and we give her the reason why it is delayed. She may or may not be happy with our decision but she knows we are the one in charge and she waits thinking and analyzing what is going to happen. Then tomorrow comes, she wants expects us to follow through and so when it is time to pay the piper we tell her (put reason here).
 
She comes to us with a problem or a what if question, she wants our input and what do we tell her “I don’t know honey do whatever you want.” On the other hand, the one I am famous for is “let me think about it and I’ll get back to you” can you imagine what our clients would say if we did that to them? You bet they would be taking their business elsewhere.
 
No wonder she walks away hurt and pissed because we are sending her mixed messages that we don’t care or your feelings are not important right now, I will deal with it later after the game and then we have this blank stare on our faces and then complain that we cannot figure out why she is peeved at us.
 
Now if it was work and a problem came up more than likely we would be working hard to elevate the problem as fast as possible so it don’t get any bigger than it has and your job will run smoother when it’s fixed and cough, cough it gives us some free time.
 
So why would our marriage be any different from our job? (It should be more important because of all the fringe benefits she provides.) We have to invest time and energy in both for it to run properly, of course there will be days like at work we don’t want to deal with any problems but we know we have to in a timely manner because… well it’s our job. We get satisfaction seeing a project running smoothly or a project that was saved from disaster.
 
Now am I am not saying that if we give your time to this DD lifestyle all our problems will disappear. As with anything else, we are going to have good days and bad days hopefully more of the former than the later.
 
However, I do know one thing that by us trying to be consistent, what we will be showing our wives is that we are commented for the long haul and most importantly, we are telling her she is worth it. That little effort on our part by paying attention and showing her due respect that we do care and respect her this can reap tremendous rewards.
 
The only thing that they ask of us is to give TTWD the best shot that we can. If we do that we just might, maybe have peace in the household for at least a few hours and if not, at least we will be getting our exercise in by spanking the daylights out of them. Then after that… well I will leave that up to the two of you to work out. WEG
 
 
Bob

46 comments:

  1. Consistency seems to rank high in importance, and yet so difficult to maintain. I feel it really is the key to success.
    abby

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    1. Hi Abby

      What you said is so true

      Bob

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  2. Excellent post Bob! I wish every reluctant HOH could read this. Most women would love to feel they are as important to their husband as his job or even his golf game and we would love to have as much attention.

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    1. Thank you PK

      I never understood how important it is until we started DD, all that time I thought I was giving her what she needed, nopey

      Bob

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  3. Hi Bob,

    Great post! I love the work comparison. We should put as much time and effort into our relationship as we do our job. Consistency is so important and you are right. By being consistent you are showing your wife that you care and that she is important.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz

      It should be imprinted on the refrigerator door so that us husbands can read it every day and have it become our mantra

      Bob

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  4. Again your right on. Attention is such a key component to feeling cherished and nurtured. Inconsistency not only leads to mixed messages but is a tremendous source of frustration for many TiH wives. The reality is any relationship dynamic requires work to be successful. When appropriate time and effort are invested the reward is beyond measure.
    Hugs to you & Bobbie
    C

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  5. Hello Catrinka

    See sometimes I do listen when we talk. just sometimes :)

    Bob

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  6. This post is spot on! I'll have to have Colin read it. I think the consistency is so important to all of us and the fact that you acknowledge that is great!

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  7. Kenzie I am glad that you liked it so much that you are going to show it to your man.

    I know that most men know this already but are cough, cough to busy doing their own thing that they don't realize or don't care what they are doing to their wives. Some one has to give them a v8 upside the head and tell them to wake up and look over to their spouse and see what is really important.

    Bob

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  8. Hi bob,
    I love your post and how you compare work and DD. you are spot on. I sent my husband this post to read. We have been talking a lot about this subject lately.
    Kim

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    1. hi R&amp I am so glad that you think it will help you out.
      I hope this will cause a good many discussions between the two of you.

      could you would you let me know how the he responded to the post please??????????

      Bob

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  9. Replies
    1. Thank you Sunnygirl

      Glad you liked it

      Bob

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  10. Thank you Bob! You put that so well, and I have a feeling that more than a few HoH's will be reading this post. After their wives print it out and hand it to them if nothing else :)

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    1. Hello Queenie

      Maybe this will open up more talk and writing for ideas for every one so they can talk about it together with out fear of rejection

      Bob

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  11. Hi Bob,
    I like the work analogy. Imagine for a moment if you do take that promotion, and there is no training. And the only person giving you information about your new position, is your immediate subordinate. What information might they be sharing with you? There are those who will only share what they agree with and what makes their workplace easier for them.
    Continue to imagine if a promotion is taken without training and on the first day, there is an empty office, no chair, no desk, no computer, no phone, pens, paper.... nothing. And no way to communicate with anyone outside your office. No one would be expected to do the job to the best of their capabilities without giving them the time to gather the tools needed, build communication and information systems.
    Basically, one of several reasons new HoHs have difficulty with consistency, there is sometimes an information filter coming from the bottom up or from an inexperienced source. And HoHs are often pushed along too quickly if they are the ones who have been Come Out to about DD. Communication, patience, honesty and researching the DD tools to use are of vital importance to alleviate inconsistency.
    ~ MrBBSpanker

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    1. Hi MRBBspanker.

      Yes that is true but I think another part of the problem is society because instead of striving to be your best society is now says mediocre is now the norm "just coast and life still will be good"
      Maybe with a little luck someone will write and superb post that will resonate with the masses.

      Bob

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    2. Good point Bob, I agree that there are many reasons for inconsistency. Societal influence and wanting a quick fix are some of the other reasons.
      Not many want to patiently take the time and do the necessary research.
      ~ MrBBSpanker

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    3. The good thing is I am seeing a trend if you will where we are starting to go back to the old ways back to the 50's early 60's when the family meant something because they were a closer nit family and not fighting for duel leadership.

      Bob

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  12. Bob, thanks for a great blog.

    If you have a job that does not fit you properly, where you are not quite convinced that this is the job you want, and where they require something of you that you do not have in you .. you do not do good job, or you begin to find a new job.
    I have read so many blogs, where women want Dd / DD / TTWD and expects the man does his best. Not all men are dominant by nature. Those who are not, will still do their best, but it is never enough for many women.
    BUT: maybe DD / TTWD is not for them. Still makes their best and yet women complain that they are not doing their best.
    DD is not for all women and not all men. I want to say that it fit quite few couples.
    Can you not be happy with what you get when you know that the others do their best? Requiring Dd of an Omega, or Betta is not fair .. There will be failure.
    What do you think?

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    1. Hi Mona I love it when you write me, you always make me think better ways to express myself and I want to thank you for that.

      What you say is true, but this post was geared to the person or persons that want this type of relationship but don't for one reason or the other why it is important to pay attention to their spouse. To give them something to think about.

      Bob

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  13. I really enjoy your blog! I am going to send this to my husband...consistency, or lack of it rather, is something we struggle with. I wait and think about his next steps, and when nothing happens, it's hurtful...it's a struggle for sure. Thanks again for your insight :)

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    1. Thank you for speaking so kindly about my blog

      I hope your husband will like it and that it helps you out

      could you send me some feed back on how he responded to it?

      Bob

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  14. Hey Bob...excellent post with great points. Hopefully, it will help some of those who are having trouble with consistency.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    1. Thank you Cat
      I hope it helps at least one pearson then it would be so worth it

      Bob

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  15. Bob, you are so absolutely right. I am amazed at your insight and your suggestions. Keep up the good work.

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    1. Thank you Blondie

      I learned all this from you my friend because it has been talked about greatly on many a blog

      Bob

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  16. Hello Bob! Glad to see that you're continuing to blog--looks nice with your new layout!--and that you're finding a great group of people to talk with. All the best!

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  17. Thank you Ana for stopping by
    it has been awhile since we have written each other.

    Yes and thanks for letting me borrow from your list of friends that you have

    Bob

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  18. Bob what a great post- Both HoH and TiH need to give 100% in ttwd- I fully get the I will get back to you and it never happens. Being on the receiving end of that many times or the famous well what do you think end can be very confusing and frusterating for us wives. I have found that when Vic and I have our weekly sit down I tell him how that confuses me and upsets me. He too is not perfect and he works hard to change his old habits too.

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    1. Thank you Cathie

      I can only imagine what it is like to be told your going to get spanked and then have it not happen that would be curl and inhuman punishment

      Bob

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  19. Sometimes it is hard to do what is right. If you are in a DD relationship it may not always be easy, however doing something to the best of your ability is going to reap the most rewards.

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    1. Thank you Minelle

      Even when we try and fail we are showing our spouse that we are committeded to the relationship

      Bob

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  20. And all the TIH wives say "AMEN"- God bless you and yours, Belle L.

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    1. Hello Belle

      I hope this helps the TIH wives and the HOH's too

      Bob

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  21. Thanks Bob,
    I think the work analogy is a good one and I'm grateful for a man that works at DD.
    Bea

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    1. Thank you Bea

      Just tryed to show if they can put that much time and energy into work why not do the same to their relationship.

      Bob

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  22. Hi Bob,
    I love your post! I'm finding that consistency is pretty key in ttwd. It can't be easy for our men to keep up the momentum. Yet at the same time it isn't always easy to stay submissive, right? It is a true commitment to make it work well for sure! Rob told me to do something yesterday and I started in with "oh please honey... Why can't you just ease up this once?" His answer was about the fact that he needs to stay consistent. I was shocked and asked him where he had learned that. We both laughed and I did as I was told. Good stuff, Bob! Hugs!

    <3 Katie

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  23. HI Katie

    Yes it is hard to be consistent for both parties, the HOH to keep his promise to do what he said he would do and then do it and the TIH to remember to accept what her HOH said for her to do even if she hate to do it at that time.

    Bob

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  24. well-expressed post...I may need to share with my hubbby... :-)

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    1. Thank you Terpsichore for speaking well of the post.

      If you ever do show your hubby this could you diddy me back a me back and let me know what he thinks about it?

      Bob

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  25. Thank you so much for sharing this, and from an HoH, makes it all the more special somehow. Sorry if I offended any of the ladies out there. :) I loved it when you said "we are telling her she is worth it". Your time, your direction, your leadership, that is what we love. Well, not you in particular, but HoH's. ;) Once we reach that need to submit, to please the man we love, once we've made ourselves vulnerable, we need the follow through, or we feel unprotected, set adrift with nothing to stop us as we go off course. Thank you so much for this post. Going to show it to the Duke, because I think he'll really agree with you. :)

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    1. Hi Es May

      I am speechless of the response I have gotten on this post.
      Now if some of the men will read it and follow through then there will be some very happy wives out there.
      If you do show this to your man could let me know what he though of it? I am just curious

      Bob

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  26. Bob, I am going to share this with Lar. Can you imagine how great it would be if I got as much attention as his job does????

    Joannie

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    1. Hi Joannie
      If he did that you would be trying to get away from him because he would be with you all the time. hhmmmm just think of all the spankings you would get, maybe you wouldn't be complaining you would have that heavenly sigh.
      Lots of luck there kiddo keeping my fingers crossed fro you

      Bob

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