Friday, March 29, 2013

What goes through the mind of a HOH?

 
 

Disclaimer these are my thoughts on how I feel when handling discipline

 Many emotions run through my head trepidation, sadness, self-doubt, pride, hurt and happiness when it is time for Bobbie’s discipline. One would think from all the books about discipline spanking that it would be a walk through the park. A simple over the top example would be something like this man takes his wife over his knee spanks her some pulls down her pants spanks some more then pulls down panties and spanks harder then they jump in bed and life is good. However, as we all know that an’t the way it happens well at lest for me it does not.

When Bobbie has to get over my knee and it’s not for fun, I am not a happy camper, nope not at all, because I am the one that will be causing her pain and even worse, on some occasions I am the one that will make her cry. I don’t know of any man worth his salt enjoying doing that.

Self-doubt plays havoc on my mind because I am running the whole scenario did I hear her right was it really her fault, how long should I do this if she fights me what then?

Sadness, I sometimes feel if I paid more attention to her she would not be here and I am sad that it could be resolved any other way.

When Bobbie submits to her punishment I feel pride because she is owning up to her mistakes she has taken ownership of it and is saying to me I am sorry lets get this behind us so we can continue to walk together.

When the spanking is finely done, I am happy because the rift between us has ended and we can see better days again. 

 I am sure that we grow old together in the new lifestyle my emotions that I described will change; some will fall to the way side and probably new ones will take their place.

I would like to hear from the other HOH about what runs through their minds while doing a punishment spanking and no you women are not off the hook I would like to hear your side of the tale to, I think it would be very interesting to hear about it from your end also.

Bob



  1. I don't think I am worth much salt because I have no trouble with making a woman cry, never mind if I like her very much. It may be just what she needs and is silently asking for. Crying is a sign of release of tension and that is sometimes very therapeutic. Isn't it possible Bobbie might appreciate being brought to tears occasionally?

    It's very difficult to make my wife cry as she is very tough in that respect - a kind of toughness I sometimes feel she would be better off without. Like a shell around her emotions.
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good questions Malcolm

      Bobbie hates to cry bring back bad memories from the past so that won't do

      Her and I are talking about it so we will see

      Bob
      Delete
  2. Hey Bob...You are definitely not alone. Ward, Clint, Jim (guest post on Clint's) and Mick have written about how hard it is and some of these same emotions. I'm sure there are other HoH's who have written similar things that I just haven't read. And my Matthew used to talk to me about how bad he felt when he had to discipline me. I can count on one hand the number of times I cried due to the actual spanking...most of the time, the tears started during the lecture when I realized just how much I had disappointed him and let us both down...but yes, the tears were cathartic.

    I'm sure you will both find what works best for you...sending lots of positive energy your way!

    Blessings,
    Cat
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have read some of the mention posts and that most guys go through this but it is still hard for me to rap my head around it.

      Yup we will find a happy medium? to make this work.

      Bob
      Delete
  3. Hi Bob,

    Firstly, I want to say thank you for a great an insightful post. It's always good to see the HoH perspective. When it comes to punishment, being on the receiving end, it's too easy to focus on my thoughts, feelings, the physical pain etc and not think about what he is going through.

    As Cat said, you are definitely not alone. I think many HoH's experience the same emotions when it comes to discipline.

    Hugs,
    Roz
    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou Roz, Cat for your incourment

      It just feels different than spanking for fun a whole new mind set

      Bob
      Delete

11 comments:

  1. I like that you give it so much thought. It helps me understand my man when those of you who are HOH's talk about your real feelings. Because you are thinking it means you are both growing in your relationship - you are not a rigid disciplinary, you are a loving husband who wants to improve your marriage. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you PK

    For reminding me I must not lose my compassion when the discipline spanking have to be done.

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think from the point of view of the one staring at the floorboards, that a lot emotions run riot during a spanking. I have to say that most of them initially are to do with how much it hurts and whether or not you can escape from the line of fire, but pretty soon you start to listen and then you just let go and have a good cry. It is good for both of you. A totally cathartic experience. A forgiveness and a new start each time! The thing is, that everyone sees it differently and does it differently. The spanking is as individual as the couple practising TTWD. It's really good to have the perspective of an HOH from time to time though!

    Hugs

    Ami

    ReplyDelete
  4. So true each experience is going to be different, so when we find our little niche in DD land I think I am going to celebrate. :)

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  5. I always want to hear how you HOH's feel when disciplining the TIH person. When I hear about the compassion as well as the determination it makes me feel like a dynamic is working the right way.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great post! It is always great to hear what is going on through and HoH's head. It actually helped me out a lot to read this. Thank you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. It was an odd feeling, me spanking her listening to her yelp then cry. I thought about it for a couple of days Bobbie got over it in a few hours.

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi Bob,
    What great questions. I guess a lot goes through my head as I receive a spanking. It really all depends on why I am being spanked on what really goes through my head. If its for punishment and what I have done has upset him, I feel awful. I feel awful for hurting him and most if my thoughts are about him and how I have disappointed him. How I so badly wish I wouldn't have done what I did to hurt him and how not to do it again. Then when it's over, I'm so thankful for him having a strong hand and for him spanking me and setting things right. As much as I hate punishment spankings, I also think they are the best ones. It shows me how much he cares about "us" and our marriage.
    Kim~

    ReplyDelete
  9. I am still process all this and it has given Bobbie and me something to talk about over coffee

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  10. You have no idea just how helpful it is to many of us to be able to gain insight into the mind of the HoH and how things look/feel from that perspective. I appreciate you sharing this Bob.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Is it hot in here or is it because I am blushing??????

    Thank you Queenie for you very kind words

    Bob

    ReplyDelete