Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Helping Men With Stress




The post I did on helping the wife with stress was so enjoyed that Kim from R&K - Our journey in DD  asked me to do a post about helping the HOH with stress. So here we go. I hope you like this as much as you did the helping the wife with stress.

How many times has your husband come home dragging his behind from either a bad day at work or the ride home was terrible? He walks through the door only to be greeted by his nagging wife telling him how bad the kids were; how something broke in the house; or, on very rare occasions, that he didn’t cut the lawn or did his other household fixes.

Let us revisit the same scenario. As he walks in the door he is greeted by his wife. She walks up to him, she hugs him, pecks him on the cheek saying. “Dinner will be on the table in about a half hour. Why don’t you go and sit down on the couch and relax while I finish up with supper. Can I get you something to drink honey?”


Now which man do you think will be the happiest? Definitely not the first one. I think the second option is a much better choice, don't you?

Another way to make him forget his problems is to dress up for him. Change those baggy pants and sweat shirt for a dress or a decent pair of jeans with a nice looking top, cook him his favorite meal, and, if you have a few minutes to spare while supper is in the oven, give the man a back rub and while doing that tell him how much you missed him while he is away. If more women did this, I would wager a bet that the sports ratings would drop a few points. Now after the back rub, all bets are off on that sports rating. LOL.

If you really want to rock his world and are feeling a little feisty, have a picnic in the bedroom. Of course this will take a few minutes, or a lot, to plan depending on what you want to do. Put candles around the bedroom, a blanket on the bed or the floor, have some cheese, fruit, bread, vegies, and of course, some wine too. Greet him at the door, put your finger to his lips to keep him from asking any questions, take his hand and say “follow me”. As you open the door, I would safely say that all his problems will disappear. Once you close the door … well I leave that up to you I am sure you will come up with something. WEG

Another idea is to make sure that supper is not finished. When he walks in the kitchen he sees you only in an apron standing by the stove, sink or even the dinner table. Oh no, look! There just happens to be some type of spanking implement there. Wonder what he could do with that?

Here is another one. The poor guy is doing a home repair and he is pulling his hair out because he can’t get the pieces together. Very gently ask him if you could assist him with his project and then very, very submissively ask him if you could read the instructions so that he will have a better idea on what the project looks like and what he is trying to do.

Now a word of caution here when you do this. Do not, I repeat do not grab the instructions. Even though he probably has never seen or read them because you are now questioning his ability to put it together. Ask him nicely if you can read them. Then make a suggestion like honey have you tried to put parts aaa and ddd together? That might be easier if you do. Please don't laugh at the poor guy because real men don't read instructions remember? :)

When you see your man withdrawing into himself, just be there for him. Ask him if you could do something for him. Give him control of the remote, read one of his books so you have something to talk about, or ask him about his day and act like you’re interested in what is happening to him. Who knows you might even get to see a different side of him. In other words treat him like you would like to be treated when you’re stressed out.


Most of the time when he comes home from work all you have to do is acknowledge his presence when he walks in the door  and let him be by himself for about a half hour so he can unwind.

Bob

26 comments:

  1. Well, I'd ask why this post is all about men but of course it's a post 'about' men. 😉
    Now about the scene where she's wearing only an apron, bro this should be considered highly dangerous! Cooking without appropriate covering puts one at risk of burns. As for having an implement close at hand, I know you aren't referring to the 'spoon'. Those are for introducing liquids to solids or mixing ingredients to create something delicious to eat, not roast bottoms.
    Seriously, it's a great article and you do bring up some very valid points as well as offer some creative suggestions. I know I'm not always the best TiH in helping Alec de-stress.
    Hugs~Cat

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    1. Hello little sister Cat
      Yes us men need stress relief to as surprising as it may seem because we hide it so well :)
      I didn't mention any thing about the stove being on so you are out of harms way of being splattered. I know I am very considerate of the wives safety and as for spoons the one I sent you was for cooking purposes only what have you told Alec to do with it??

      Cat you can pick on me any time and thank you for posting on my blog. Now go and put that apron on for your man WEG

      Bob

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  2. Bob, BOb, BOB!

    Thanks for a great blogspot. It has only two errors.

    1.There is nothing written about paddling his butt , that would surely give him stress reduction,


    2nd When the husband comes home from work and is tired, (poor darling, I understand that he may be tired, absolute), the woman already worked her 6-8 hours at work, picked up kids from school, kindergarten,traded food at the grocery store on the way home and now she prepares food while she tries to encourage the tired children to do their homework, not to fight, soon the dinner is ready. Full clothed and no implements somewhere for childrens are at home.

    But she can certainly fantasiera about that miracles happen and she comes home, her husband is already cooking dressed only in apron , the kids are at friends, (now we can ignoring homework), takes her to a picnic in the bedroom wtih "ALL" she wants for dessert...hmm...

    Yes, I can imagine my stress level would decrease.

    Many hugs Bob !

    Mona Lisa.

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    1. Lol. Yeah, this is when real life intrudes, isn't it?

      DH often comes home stressed, and I will have dinner almost done, and I always wrangle the kids and let him decompress, but!!!! That doesn't always help, and then doesn't even get appreciated anymore.
      And spankings have become a great stress reliever for him, but not really for me. I am tired of letting him spank me just so he feels better. How submissive is that?

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    2. Oh my goodness Mona I so agree with you, What planet do you live on Bob. Sweetie I take it this is a fantasy
      love Jan.xx?

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    3. Hello Jan

      I think you got the post wrong this about distressing men not on making tih's happy LOL

      Well maybe it is because you all loved to get spanked so much, and that's a fact roflo

      Bob

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    4. Hello Mona

      You found only 2 errors I am hurt I wassure you would find more than just 2 :(
      He wants to spank her butt not to have his spanked and as for #2 if she really wanted the later part she could have pushed the kids off to grandma or the neighbors for a few hrs just so she could have put the apron with nothing on for him. LOL
      As always kiddo your great.

      Bob

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    5. hello Julia

      you are doing fantastic in knowing what your man wants, spanking that butt and he thanks you for sticking it out there for him in a time of need :)

      Bob

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  3. Hi Bob,
    Thank you so much for the post. I think sometimes we forget to help our hubby with their stress. You really do have some very good and creative ideas. I know the one about being in the kitchen with just an apron on is something my H is hoping to come home and find one day. But with kids and a a BIL living with us, not so sure that will be happening anytime soon.

    But really. Taking a paddle to his butt won't help with stress! It always does wonders for me! Lol :)

    Thank you again, it is a great post!
    Hugs,
    Kim

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    1. Hello Kim

      yes when you have kids and a bil living there it is hard to put an apron on for hubby and all of you gals know Mona is just kidding about taking the paddle to your man right because it might be dentermental to your health LOL.

      Bob

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  4. Oh my Bob reading comments you may have struck a cord. :) I have no kids which frees up tons of time and privacy. I am happy to say I have been doing several of these things for years. I greet him at the door with a big hug and kiss and tell him to relax most of the time. If we're going out to eat we usually go shortly after he gets home, but he still gets a big hug and kiss. I do believe you are referring to the kind of apron that has the top section and really even I can do a pot of soup without getting burned! I am no gourmet but I feel safe in my kitchen. Wearing nothing but apron he couldn't care less what you are cooking :) I admit I don't dress up or as he'd prefer maybe down (apron) as much as I used to. I heard a talk once about how ridiculous it is that we dress up for those that matter least to us (idiot coworkers) and not for those that matter most. You reminded me of that. Luckily he thinks I'm sexy with no makeup and a tight pair of Levi's. Lucky me.

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    1. Hello Sharon

      Well thought out reply we should send this to Mona LOL

      bob

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  5. Loved your post Bob! It reminds me of when, years ago, Dan had a long way to commute, and every Friday evening without fail, he would ring me as he got a few miles away from our village, and I had an extra large gin and tonic with ice and lemon all ready for him (and a large steak and salad!) and would hand it to him the minute he walked in the door. Although life was stressful and hard in those days, we look back on them with very fond memories.

    Hugs

    Ami

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    1. Hello Ami

      Thank you for sharing some of your memories with us

      Bob

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  6. Beautiful post, Bob. A great springboard of ideas to motivate creativity of what could be done. And very appropriate for any symbiotic relationship.

    I wish I’d learned years ago how to better greet Dave at the end of the day. I confess that I was easily that wife who wanted to immediately offload my own stress on what he already carried. Now I know that doing that only keeps negative energy between us. By helping Dave ease his stress eases the tension I feel as well because I feel what he feels. Even the smallest thing I can do to make him happy to come home and step away from the world makes my world a little easier also.

    Thank you.

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    1. Hello Jacquie

      Thank you for your kind words and it is better late than never at all ass I always say

      Bob

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  7. I've actually done some of these things, and I have to say that they work extremely well!!! One of the great things about it is, the more I try to please hubby, the more he tries to please me. Win win!

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    1. Hello Quennie

      It is a beautiful cycle isn't it pleasing each other hope it never ends for you

      Bob

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  8. This is great Bob, some wonderful and creative suggestions. Good food for thought. I've tried a few of these as well, such as the back rub. Works a treat :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hello Roz

      This one of the things I wished I learned early in life, it would have made my life so much easer. Better late than never :)

      Bob

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  9. Bob, thank you for reminding us to be the soft place in a hard world. God bless you and yours, Belle L.

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    1. Hi Belle

      you are so very welcome


      Bob

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  10. BOB!!! Thanks again for sharing this! It really helped pull me out of my funk today to step back and see that he has a lot on his plate these last several weeks and I really haven't helped by dumping all of this DD on him. Sometimes I'm sure you're right....I AM a 24/7 job :)

    Letting him wind down. I'll remember to not rush to the door with "the kids are being out of hand and the kitchen sink is leaking".....Now if only I can get the kids out of the house to try out the Apron idea HMMMM

    ~HanneSharp

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    1. Hello Hanne Sharp

      Take the kids to grand ma's hose for a few hours and then...

      Bob

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  11. Yes...but...sorry there is a but...what if I greet him at the door with a kiss, feed him dinner, give him time to decompress while I get the kids ready for bed...and then change into something "less" comfortable but more alluring for the man's eyes...only to find him asleep on the couch...and so after working overtime and doing everything possible to relax his day, I am now more stressed than ever...then what??? :-) In case this sounds bitter...I am writing this with a smile...though there is certainly an element of truth to it. I understand and agree with what you have said and want to give my man time...but I must admit, I agree with Mona Lisa a tiny bit more at the moment... :-) Hugs, Terps

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    1. Hi Trep

      If after all that the man deserves any thing that you may accidently on purpose doe to him after doing all that and falling asleep on you lol

      Bob

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