Friday, May 31, 2013

Words Part 2


 

Danger! Danger! You are entering the mind of Bob go no further because this is about words again and how they can mean one thing and at the same time mean something else

I am amazed on how much we skirt around issues when we try to define what we are talking about and how we interpret the words spoken.
 
Bobbie and I were talking to some like-minded friends the other day and we were talking about DD in general (what else would DD couples talk about) and we ended up talking about submission and what it meant to them. They said that it gave them great pleasure in making their man happy; doing little things to make his life easier and to show their apprehension in return of what he does for them.
 
We also talked about some of the different types of submission one could have such as she could do it as serving him, doing it out of love and of course, she is doing it because of his authority. All these are valid reasons for being acts of submission but as we cruising along in the conversation, I asked a simple question that I have been toying with for a long time, could an HOH be submissive to his wife while still being the HOH?
 
Well the breaks went squealing and there was a big information pile up and we came to a dead stop in the conversation they looked at me as if I just spoken in tongues. One person said no I could ever submit to my husband because I have no authority over him and I could not submit to a person like that. Another said that no the HOH does not submit, he pleases her by doing extra things for her because that is what HOH does.  
 
Therefore, the race started and like a scene in an old western movie, everyone went for their smart phones, went to their favorite search engine, and looked up what the definition of submission is as following:
 
World English Dictionary
submissive (səbˈmɪsɪv) of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility
 
Urban dictionary
A person in BDSM who submits to a Dominant person. A submissive can be a slave and/or the bottom (the person being tied up or whipped, etc.).
One who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift.
A male/female who is sexually submissive to their Master/Dom by choice. The "GIFT" if submission is earned by respect it's not just given.
 
The free dictionary
of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility
submissively adv
submissiveness n
 
I then asked them, “Then according to your description and that of the 3 dictionaries of what submission is, then what does a HOH do when he pleases his tih?”
 
They said it was his job to make sure that his sub was happy and content that is why he does it, it was part of being a HOH.
 
“What do you call it when a wife goes out of her way to please her man is she being submissive?”
 
The answer was yes.
 
“If the woman serves her man before herself, what was it? If she does thing to make his life easier and more fulfilling and is doing it out of love?”
  
Again the same answer
 
Then I asked, “If it is ok to say that if she does all this for her HOH, she is submissive, but when we apply the same thing to the HOH he is not submissive because he is a HOH. Just because he is, the HOH does not mean he cannot be submissive to her needs or wants. Does this diminish his dominance because the HOH goes out of his way to please his wife to make sure she is lacking for nothing?
  
I think he can perform both, being a HOH and submissive at the same time because he is filling her need on different levels mentally and physically.”
 
If one was to strip away all the kink, rules, regulations and rituals of DD, to its bare essence, what you will see is two people going out of each other’s way trying to make one other happy and content. Neither being submissive nor dominant but being loved because when one is being loved, totally loved, who has a need for anything else.

Bob


 



 
 

18 comments:

  1. Oh, Bob, I LOVE this blogpost.. Very well thought out and I agree with everything you have said. It is simple game with words. But basically it's the same, you just use different words to describe things.
    And your last question? That is exactly what millions of well-functioning vanilla couples do. Do things for each other because of love, and do not need any letters that govern the dynamics of the family, how will they react and not react.

    Bob, if I did not know who wrote this blog entry, I would think that it was the "rebel" Mona Lisa, who must question everything ... lol ..
    Hugs,
    Mona Lisa.

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    1. Why thank you Mona

      Will you be riding a rebel motorcycle mama wearing leather or as a rebel cowgirl with leather

      It is scary when we think a like

      Bob

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  2. What a great post! I have actually been thinking about the word submissive a lot this past week and what it actually means. You have written something that I haven't even thought of. I like how you break it down and strip away all the words and are left with two people going out of each other's way trying to make the other happy and content.
    Kim

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    1. hi Kim

      If you want to use any of it you may do so

      Bob

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  3. Hi Bob,

    This is an excellent and interesting post. Certainly not something I have really thought about but I guess at the end of the day both partners serve each other. it's about knowing and attending to each others needs and desires etc. I agree, when you look at it in those terms and HoH can be submissive.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Hi Roz

      I have played with this for awhile now at first I said no then the more I thought about it I said why not. Why can't the HOH be submissive to his wife's need while still being the HOH

      Bob

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  4. Your last paragraph summed it all up so perfectly. At the end of the day, it really is about two people goinf above and beyond to make each other happy. Thats why it works so well. Great post.

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    1. Hi Kenzie

      I am amazed at how we cling to certain words and can't see the true meaning of what we are doing making one another as happy as we can

      Bob

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  5. I was just going to write and looked at Kenzie's comment and that is what it is all about. The hell with dominant and submissive, it's all about loving and respecting each other.

    Good post.

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  6. Hmmmm, very interesting post Bob. I've never thought of the HoH as being submissive. But, I think you make an excellent point. Take away all the preconceived notions of DD/TTWD and it's just two people trying very hard to please the other....because they love each other that much. What a beautiful thought! Thanks for sharing it with us.

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    1. Hi queenie

      When I wrote this I was expecting to be an outcast for suggesting such a radical thought but it's just my opinion :)

      Bob

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  7. Not an outcast Bob, this is really lovely
    Thank you
    J

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  8. The basis of every true and lasting relationship has to be love and respect. A very interesting viewpoint for consideration Bob. Time someone took the bull by the horns!

    Hugs

    Ami

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    1. Thanks Ami
      Just wanted people to think of the posablilty that the HOH can be submissive at the same time he is dominant
      bob

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  9. This is interesting, Bob. It really is about two people giving to each other. I have never considered it, but I suppose initially, it could be perceived that my husband was submissive to my desire to have a DD relationship because he agreed to give me what would make me happier...what a mind bender! Great post as usual :)
    -Marie

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    1. Hi Marie

      didn't think of it like that, the decision we had would have been a lot shorter and I wouldn't have had to work so hard.

      Bob

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