Wednesday, October 16, 2019

Anger


You seem to hear about it every day on the TV news, read it in the newspaper or on the internet feeds on how crazy the world has gotten because people are so angry now and they are lashing out at whomever or whatever they can. 

It has become the focal point in conversations on how angry people are and sadly it seems to be breeding at an exponential rate. All this attention about violence and anger got me thinking about TTWD and does anger have a place in it?

First of all, let me say that violence of any kind has no place in any relationship be it a DD one or a vanilla one. It is abusive non-consensual and it destroys anything that is good. 

Our community is a finicky and very protective one which I am very grateful for. But I have noticed a few hot words that bring fire and brimstone from the person that is offended by what the other person was saying.

The hot word for the day is anger and my post today is "does it have a place in our little community?"   

How many times have we talked to our friends about so and so might be in an abusive situation because he spanked her hard while being angry or read about a blogger telling her story about how angry her husband was when he decided to discipline her.

The common answer from our concerned community most of the time is that the HOH should have waited until he has calmed down enough to address the problem. That DD should be suspended somehow until the HOH is no longer angry. But is that really true?

When the HOH sees red the veins in his neck and head are bulging and ready to pop or if he is destroying things it is probably safe to say he is not in his right frame of mind.  

I think that if for whatever reason the HOH cannot control their anger then they should avoid physical contact altogether. They should walk away and remove themselves from the situation as best as they can till they calm down enough to think rationally then revisit the problem at hand.

The anger obviously that I am talking about is the controlled type where the HOH is still under control of himself mentally and physically to deal with the circumstance in a sane logical manner.

Let's say, for example, that Susan comes home with a speeding ticket that some nice policeman gave her for going over 40 in a 25-mile zone. But she doesn't tell him she just pays the ticket thinking he will never know. 

A few months later the insurance company sends him the new contract on his auto insurance. He opens it and upon seeing the new cost of insuring the car, his eyes bulge, is he angry? I would say hell yeah he is.

He marches in the kitchen shows her the bill and tells her how angry he is then grabs her by the elbow and directs her into the bedroom and spanks her. But the big difference here is he is still under control and not screaming or saying how he is going to make her regret getting the ticket or saying regretful things that he will be sorry for later. 

I cannot imagine an HOH peppering his wife's butt for doing something wrong without being angry about it. Think about it for a second. The last long spanking you got for doing something really bad was he angry or very upset? I would say you would snicker and say oh yeah there was perhaps smoke coming out of his nose.

By him being angry he is relaying to his wife while spanking her that he is not a happy camper with what she has done and will not tolerate it. Also his tone of voice will indicate to her that he is highly upset with her.

Again I will say that violence of any kind has no place in any relationship be it a DD one or a vanilla one. It is abusive non-consensual and it destroys anything that is good. 

4 comments:

  1. Hi Bob,

    This is a great post and deals with a very important subject. I agree that control is key and thwt if the HoH isn't in control of his actions he should definitely not spank.

    Hugs
    Roz

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  2. A little bird told me you recently read my 'slightly' longer post on this subject from a few years ago. I mentioned in that post how Barney was conflicted for a long time due to the blanket statement of not punishing in anger. A mutual friend said at the time ( well I can't actually type the colourful wording verbatim) that that is a load of beeeeeeeeeeeeep. One is supposed to calm down, and come back and muster some sort of authentic feelings ?

    We talked about this years ago in ADDS and many of the submissive women in there agreed that the punishments with displeasure coming off of their men left more of an emotional impact with them than the spanking itself. They were not opposed to spanking in anger- and concluded that anger and rage are two completely different things.

    Anyway, hope you manage to get a conversation going here with others about it.

    willie

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    Replies
    1. Hi willie.

      I think it is a normal event for the HOH to be highly agitated and showing it to their wives in a safe sane environment.

      Bob

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