Billy and Sue have been working diligently on their DD relationship for a couple of years now and Billy sees a huge improvement in the way Sue's outlook on life is. He is now seeing the fruits of their labor and now thinks they can enjoy each other's companionship the way they have always wanted and he doesn't have to be so ridged in how he has to conduct himself.
So Billy starts to focus his attention on other things that need to be done while still keeping an eye on Sue's progress. Billy's mind set is that all is well in their household and he is congratulating Sue and himself for finely getting to where they wanted to be in their relationship.
Sue is happy at the progress that they have made and is proud of the way Billy has stepped up and has been right there in the mix of things not letting her get away with too much with the rules they have made together.
After the talk they had about how good their relationship has gotten, she notices that she is starting to get edgy and anxious. Sue is trying to figure out what has changed, why is Billy different now?
Sue talks to Billy about how she feels but neither one can figure out what has changed and very slowly Sue feels a break in their harmony and starts falling back to the way she was and starts to brat.
Billy is beside himself as things were going so good. He is doing what he should have and now Sue is having a nuclear meltdown and he is at ground zero.
Sue thinks that Billy doesn't care as he has stopped telling her what to do as he no longer is the forceful man he was three weeks ago. In her mind he is acting as if he doesn't care and starts to take it out on him by falling back to the way things are.
So who's fault it? is it's Sue's fault or is it Billy's fault?
Hoh's view point
As a male HOH I am going to side with poor Billy for the moment because the man was and is still is very active in their DD dynamic. He is just focusing on what he thinks needs his attention at the time.
Most of us guys, as you probably know by now, aren't very expressive and engage in problem solving in a totally different way than you gals do. Since I can't speak for all men I can only speak for myself this is my thought process.
When Bobbie and I first started doing DD I had to be very active in what she was doing by keeping my end of the bargain helping her to get from point A to point C.
As time went by I didn't have to voice my opinion as much as I use too and as we became more efficient in maintaining our roles and there was less for me to do.
My thoughts were that we had done a good job so far and now we could enjoy ourselves and I didn't have to be the one carrying the hammer being the "bad guy" always correcting her.
Also I look at it as if the ship is sailing on its own power why try to fix it just do the maintenance and it will be running smooth for a long time.
It would be like a weekend mechanic and his son working on a car. He teaches him how to fix the car how to calibrate the engine and when it is done his son can now maintain the car without having to be reminded how and when it has to be done.
Now the weekend mechanic can set his attention on another area of the car while watching over his son making sure he is doing a good job and if he sees an error he tells him so then goes back to his own project.
This is the way I feel, Bobbie is my equal and my best buddy. We have worked hard together to get to where we are and I don't think I have to keep reminding her to do something she is now doing. I can now focus on other areas of our dynamic to enhance our relationship and perform maintenance as needed.
Part 2 coming soon