Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Alternative Discipline

I have found this interesting article in one of my old folders from way back, I don't know who the author is nor where I got the article from. If anyone knows the author or the web site this article came from please let me know so I can give this person the credit for their article.

Corner Time

Some people would immediately dismiss this as childish and therefore inappropriate for an adult relationship, but I think it depends on exactly how it is used.

To begin with, it can be used before, during, or after a spanking, or it can be used as a disciplinary tool in its own right. Before a spanking, it might be used as a cooling off period and 'time-out' for both partners, and also to give the spankee time to reflect on her wrongdoing and increase her anticipation of what was to come. During a spanking, it might provide a break during which someone who channels all their control into fighting the pain of a spanking could finally find release and be able to cry. Afterwards, it serves to reinforce the reasons for the spanking and give pause for thought and recovery before rejoining the world.

As an alternative to spanking it can also serve in different ways. It may be that an HOH has repeatedly to deal with the same 'offence' and each time that happens, he has to interupt whatever he is doing to do so. If corner time is given in those circumstances, it means that the only time wasted is that of the 'miscreant' and it doesn't become a kind of punishment for the HOH also. Or perhaps something immediate but discreet is required because there are other people in the house.

Corner time also makes a good long distance tool because, provided there is sufficient trust in a relationship, it doesn't require the disciplinarian's physical presence. A set time, measured by some form of audible timer can be imposed, during which the 'sub' is required not to look around from the corner. Looking around once would mean that the corner time had to be started again from the beginning, and a second lapse would mean the same except that this time the 'sub' would be required to hold a piece of paper or coin in place with her nose.

Also part of the 'physchology' of corner time is mode of dress while there. To stand either naked or with panties around the ankles and skirt hitched up often increases the sense of vunerability and submission felt by the 'sub' and therefore reinforces the 'control' aspect of the relationship.

A variation on this, if your body doesn't allow for long term standing, is to sit in a chair facing the corner.


This is very similar to corner time, except that the subject is required to kneel either in the centre of a room, or in a corner, for a set period of time. Sometimes she is required to be naked when this happens which again is calculated to increase her sense of vunerability and submission.

Variations on this would be to scatter dried rice on the spot on which she will kneel, or to require her to hold books in her oustretched hands for part of the time.

Writing Lines

Again, some people would dismiss this as being a discipline which belongs with childhood, but, in fact, it is something which can be used quite effectively to fit a 'crime'. If, for example, if a woman constantly forgets to do something she is supposed to, writing a 'reminder', like 'I must remember to...............' over and over can serve to jog her memory in the future.

Similarly, if a 'bad' behaviour is repeated regularly, lines might be used in proportion to the number of repetitions in order to try and prevent re-occurance.

For many people, especially those who do not enjoy writing, this can be extremely time consuming and tedious, and once again, any time wasted is wasted by the subject and not the HOH.

Essays / Explanations

This is similar to lines in some respects, except that it is up to the 'sub' to think about why she has done something and what she will do to avoid similar incidents in the future. From the point of view that it requires thought and consideration on the part of the sub, it is perhaps more constructive than lines, but, obviously, depending on whether the subject enjoys writing, it can be more, or less of a chore.

Some HOHs also require their women to include ways in which they feel the 'crime' should be punished.

Mouth Soaping

In a 'punishment to fit the crime' respect, this is usually considered appropriate for bad language or disrespect.

There are several different ways to go about mouth soaping. Some people use liquid soap squirted directly into the mouth, others require a bar of soap to be held in the mouth, and others will soap up a wash cloth and literally wash out the mouth with it.

Sometimes the 'sub' has to hold the soap in her mouth for a while, as she stands in the corner, or even while being spanked. (use a bar of soap for this because liquid soap would be too easily swallowed). In other cases, she is allowed to spit the soap our but not to rinse the taste away.

A word of warning. Use a mild and preferably natural soap for this and never anything abrasive, deodorising or antibacterial. Even then, if the 'soapee' is inclined towards allergies or sensitive skin, test her reaction with a very small amount of soap before you consider putting her at risk. Finally, try to avoid causing her to swallow any soap, as this can cause serious problems.

Grounding/loss of privileges/early bed time

This can take many forms and can be made to fit the crime.

For example, if the crime is something like speeding, or not wearing a seatbelt, driving privileges can be revoked for a set period of time. If not paying bills or overspending is the problem, credit cards and cheque books can be taken away.

Alternatively, she can be banned from an activity or outing she enjoys, or restricted from reading, the computer, telephone and/or television for a time.

She might also be required to remain in the house or a particular room in the house except for essential outings and a set early bedtime could be enforced.

Extra tasks/chores or disliked activities

In this method, the subject might be given a list of chores to complete each day and be grounded from leisure activities until they were completed. She might also be given a particular chore she disliked, such as ironing or cleaning an oven or bathroom.

Allternatively, if she wasn't keen on exercising or walking for instance, she could be required to do this for a set time each day when she would rather be doing something else.

Edited on 9/72013  Roseland from discipline and love is the author of this article 



  1. Interesting article Bob, thanks for sharing this.

    Not sure I necessarily agree with some of this, but we have used/tried variations of corner time, lines and removal of priviledges from time to time.


    1. Hi roz

      No like you, I haven't tried some of their methods either but I thought it would be interesting to post


  2. WOW Bob!!! Got your all informative HOH hat on today? lol

    1. Hello Ashley

      LOL Bobbie looked at the list and said I don't think so, patted me on the shoulder and walked out


  3. Gosh, your poor wife if you employ some of these, kneeling on rice! we are not in Guantanamo bay you know, we are just mischievous wives,

  4. You want to scare me, right, Bob.

    Soap in the mouth? WHAT? Kneeling and rice ? WHAT?

    I'm glad that I live where I live, Bob, when I read this.
    Where such things are not OK.
    Is it really OK for some women and men?
    The only thing I feel when I read about this is: humiliation.
    Is not TTWD about love?

    Hmm. I would like to hear what Bobbie would say about the soap in the mouth.
    Why, why, I think she would send you ... somewhere?

    1. Hi Mona Lisa, it's not alright where I live either sweetie, I agree with you. We definitely won't be moving to Bobland will we?
      love Jan.

    2. As much as I understand your worries, Mona, we need to realize that we are different.
      There is a beautiful saying in English that applies perfectly here: "Different strokes for different folks". That's why this lifestyle is called "This thing we do".

      What seems cruel and unacceptable for you, might very well be perfecty acceptable and right for someone else. As long as it is safe and between consenting adults everithing is ok, IMHO.

      Besides, how can we define what's right and what's wrong? There's no definite line!
      If I confessed to my best friend that I love being spanked to tears, she would be horrified and probably she would kill my husband with her own hands.

      I know your comment is driven by concern, but really Mona, your worries should be concentrated on consent and nothing else.

      Sorry, Bob, I hope you don't mind my chiming in :) Nice post, BTW

  5. I have to interject here on the comments above me. We do't use kneeling on rice, but we use soap sometimes, and I have to say just because we use soap, doesn't mean we're not in a loving DD relationship. For some people, actually a lot of people I know, myself included, humiliation is an effective tool in discipline. I don't mean anything like degrading, but humiliation can do the trick at times, and again, it doesn't mean we're not in a loving relationship. To each their own, and I think people practicing DD should be accepting that everyone is a little different.

    Nice post by the way Bob, interesting alternative punishments.

  6. Great info will have to let bumblebee read it. Things are great in this lifestyle. Us tih could not be more happy and loved when this lifestyle is done right. Do not knock til you try it.

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  8. I deleted the last comment because I accidentally 'published' it before I finished writing it.

    Just for the record, (and I don't mind at all that you've posted it here) the article is one called "Alternative Discipline/Punishment" that I originally wrote for my first domestic discipline forum ("DD2" on the now defunct MSN groups) back in 2004. Since 2007 it's been part of the " All about domestic discipline" area of my current "Discipline & Love" forum.


  9. I should probably add for those who are concerned by some of the things I've covered in the article that it, where it is posted on 'D & L', it is prefixed with the disclaimer,

    "Note: Please be aware that D&L does not advocate or condone the use of any particular kind of disciplinary action, and care must be taken by each couple concerned to ensure that their chosen method is not harmful or inappropriate either physically or emotionally. If anything referred to in this article is anathema to you, it's perfectly okay to avoid it."


  10. Can't say I'm in favor of mouth soaping, or kneeling on rice... but I guess each to their own. Thank you for sharing, has some good info here. :) I find we use spankings most, but corner time is effective for us too. We tried writing lines, we realized it didn't work on me, lol.