Tuesday, January 5, 2016

tih view

These are my thoughts on this subject and what works for us.  
I am a grown woman, not a little child, and I did not want to go into this relationship with Bob having to watch me constantly making sure I got the job done. Yes I need him to give me guidance but I do not need to be micromanaged. I also do not think it is his job to keep reminding me that something needs to be done.  After all how could I say I reached my goal with him constantly reminding m
For example:
When Bob and I first started this dynamic, we talked about wanting me to email him every day. Once we established the guidelines and made it a set rule, Bob would remind me if he did not receive an email by 10 p.m.  As we evolved and he was getting emails daily he no longer reminded me and left it up to me to remember. He now only reminds me if he knows I have had a stressful day or something was out of the norm.  Because he would know that I would forget and instead of letting me fail, he would gently remind me once to email him.  Once acknowledged then it is up to me to email him.
When we started this dynamic, and realized that we needed to change things I did not want Bob to do everything for me. I want to do this on my own. First to show him that I can do it and two because I know that if I don’t do it by myself it will mean nothing to me. It would like Bob would be making all my decisions and I would be mindlessly following him.
I do like when I get the occasional reminders because it gives me more confidence knowing that he is still paying attention. That the goals/rules that we set are still important to him and he is watching to make sure that they are accomplished
The perfect example is when Bob decided to write his post and I told him I would like to write my view. He reminded me a couple times but when he saw that I was starting to get stressed out he backed off for a day.  He said that you have until Tuesday to do it and I will be glad to help.  And the reason he offered his help is because I am a wonderful speller, grammar, and punctuation coach. But when it comes to putting my thoughts on paper or talking about them I stress.  Who would have thought that after 25 plus years of composing my own letters for work I would have a hard time?
I am happy to say that most of this is my own with a little guidance from Bob.