Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Why Did I Choose DD?







There are times when I hate having too much time on my hands. I get bored easily and restless. I have too much time to think about things. I play them through my head like a scratched record that is stuck on a continuous loop. Today is one of those days. I have been thinking a lot of why I chose DD. What was the fascination with it? Did it sound sexy? Dangerous? What would or could of happened if we didn’t take this road and on and on…

I sat down in front of the computer and started to write all the minuses of DD and in no particular order I came up with these. DD is hard work, you have to pay attention, be vigilant and you have to make the hard choices in what to do because now you have someone that needs to know how to work in their new parameters of their relationship. You have to tell your loved one no to something they may want to do or want badly and you have to be at times the bad guy.

After writing all the negatives about DD, I started to write about the positives of DD. There would be peace and harmony in our relationship, we wouldn’t be fighting so much, I wouldn’t feel like I was fighting the world by myself, I would now have a partner to watch my back, a second pair of eyes to help me navigate through life and we would become one to better ourselves. Oh yeah I almost forgot I get to spank Bobbie LOL.

I now had two columns of what DD could be and as I looked at the plus side of things, I liked that more. But that wasn’t the reason I approached Bobbie with DD. The simple truth was I got tired of fighting by myself. Not knowing what Bobbie was doing and at times we were fighting for the same thing but at the same time we were canceling each other out because our approaches were different in trying to solve the same problem. 

I saw DD as a tool to get us back into the game of life as a team in harmony not in disarray and I wanted to do what was right for Bobbie. I wanted her to have the best I could give her to be healthy and happy. I wanted her to be content not wanting in anything. 

I also picked DD because it forces us to participate. We cannot be a bystander and expect it to work for us. It also makes you talk to each other and learn new communication skills by forcing us to ask questions and give suggestions so we know what lies ahead. DD is also a hard teacher. It will teach you that you can’t do it all by yourself. You need to depend on your partner to actively seek out answers of what is not working and why. It will show you your flaws and why you’re having problems in certain areas of your relationship. What you thought were your partner’s problems may very well be because of you.

After weighing all the pros and cons, DD has proven to be a very important part of our lives and relationship.

So here we are six years later still with DD. It has at times been a bumpy ride, at times we still fight like cats and dogs but they are less frequent and not as violent but when we are hitting on all cylinders with DD it is a fantastic ride and there isn’t a person I’d rather be with than with Bobbie by my side.


Bob


 

13 comments:

  1. Hey Bob...loved this post! The two things that really struck a chord with me are "I saw DD as a tool to get us back into the game of life as a team in harmony not in disarray..." and "It has at times been a bumpy ride, at times we still fight like cats and dogs but they are less frequent and not as violent but when we are hitting on all cylinders with DD it is a fantastic ride and there isn’t a person I’d rather be with than with Bobbie by my side." Those two sum DD all up for me. :D So happy you and Bobbie are doing so well. Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Hi Cat

      Tank you Cat for your kind words a lot of people think that when they start DD all the fighting will end lol nopy they don't

      Bob

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  2. What an awesome and lovely post Bob. Those two things stoo out for me too. Wow, 6 years! So happy for you both :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thank you Roz

      At times it feels like just yesterday we started DD instead of 6 yrs ago

      Bob

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  3. Wonderful post. I truly believe that this is how and why DD works. DD has changed our marriage, a marriage the counselor couldn't help fix. This is it. Six years is great! Twice as many as us. Congratulations. And thanks for so perfectly explaining the good, the bad, and the why of DD

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    1. Hi Blondie

      The learning curve never stops either as you already know lol

      Bob

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  4. Your blog is really gr8. Are you Bob and Bobbie from ADomesticDisciplineSociety?

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  5. Welcome to my blog Imani Bay

    Yes we are the one and only lol
    Thank you for the thumbs up on my blog.

    Bob

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  6. Aw, this post is so cute! DD can be a bumpy ride, as you said - but it's all worth it. :) Yay for 6 years!

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  7. Well said Bob and as you indicated, the listing of pros and cons can really help to clear up questions on whether a decision is a good one. I agree that after only 11 months we can already see the difference this is making in our lives, our marriage and our interactions with each other. What a wonderful way to continue onward - together. Thanks for your insight, your guidance and your humor. Makes for a really nice man who reminds us of what we sometimes forget to see even when it is right in front of us. Ladybrittany

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  8. Why did I choose DD? Good question, and as a list maker myself I really like the Pros and Cons list!
    But to answer that question I think I'd have to answer... DD chose ME! lol
    Great post my friend! :)
    # MrBB

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  9. I was so happy to read your post. My husband and I have just began dd and for many of those exact reasons. We don't ever really fight. We disagree at times. He is my best friend and soulmate. Thanks for the post

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