Then and Now

This is going to be a different type of post because I am not going to talk about my problems or ways to make DD work. What I would like to do is talk about the way is has enhanced the way we interact with each other. It has brought us new tools for us to use to help us keep our focus on “US” and not ourselves.  

Going into the DD relationship has shown us that we work more efficiently as a team. Before DD we were caught up into what the individual was doing instead of what we could be doing together. DD reprogrammed us to work as a team getting our projects done faster giving us more time to relax. Yes, we still have individual chores to do but the difference now is that when one of us is done with their chores the other goes and helps the one still working so they can be done faster.

I see Bobbie differently. I no longer take her for granted. I want to be by her, to know her in ways I have never considered before. I want to hear her laugh and to see the smile on her face. Even when the darkness comes I want to experience her hurt, her anger, her fears and pain not to gloat or to get joy from it but to comfort, to soothe her, to hold her, to help her understand how to hold her head high and be proud of who she is.

I see myself differently also. I no longer feel like I am the victim of circumstances, I am no longer out of control, I am not angry as much as I use to be, I no longer run from problems, I am accountable for my actions, I am more in tune with my surroundings, and I want to be more responsible for my actions.

I see US differently. We are no longer operating as two separate entities trying to make all the decisions without the others knowledge; and we don’t try to hide our mistakes. We don’t blame each other for something that should have been done by me/her. Now we are a team working together for the common good of US to make our life better and more comfortable. We now own up to our faults and take responsibility for what we have done. We face the world together and watch each other’s back.

We are not perfect. Far from it. We still bicker and we get under each other’s skin but that is life with us being so close to each other but now we have the necessary tools to fix those problems when they arise.