Questions From Mona Lisa and Queenie

Mona Lisa: Why have you introduced discipline spanking into your relationship?
Why DD and not D / s, or congeniality therapy that does not hurt Bobbies butt...

I was just going to answer Mona's question and move on but the more I was writing about why I was using discipline spanking this post started to take on a form of its own because I was raising more questions as I was trying to explain myself and I started to think why did I incorporate spanking in our relationship.

Let’s face it 5 years ago and up to even today just about any of the DD blogs and the more instructional DD blogs that are out there that you may have read revolves around spanking as the equalizer in a DD relationship. Everyone talks about it, there are instructions on the who, when, where, and how to do the spanking. When we answer questions from a newbie, what is it we tell them should happen? We tell them that if she/he does not live up to their end of the bargain they get spanked. However, there is very little on the alternate side of discipline.

When I was researching how to do DD, it taught me important tools how to communicate, be more consistent in what I did in our DD lifestyle and to hold Bobbie and myself to a higher standard than what we did before, to make rules. When those rules were broken the main problem solver was spanking. It was explicitly expressed that this is what you should do and that is to spank when the tih needed correction and since I am a spanko I thought that was the logical direction to take. So I ran with it. When I first introduced discipline spanking into our DD relationship, as sad as it sounds it was because that was all I knew about the DD lifestyle in keeping the peace in our household. Little did I know while I was comfortable on the careening train of DD I was riding, it was about to run smack into an unmovable brick wall. Hundreds of hours of research went crashing into that wall called Bobbie.

Honestly, I have only discipline spanked Bobbie a few times. One I wrote on this blog. We do, do what we call US time which I would say that it equates to a maintenance spanking to let her know that she is heading into dangerous territory. What we have found out is that discipline spanking her to tears like that is counterproductive because it has the opposite effect on her. She gets into a depressing mood instead of a relaxed mood. Therefore, now her discipline is that she loses her electronics and books for a day and it can escalate from there, we also have resorted to writing essays on the problem at hand and we have been exploring writing lines by hand. This has a far better effect on her than a discipline spanking does.

In our earlier years before DD came into the lime light, D/s was the norm and we experimented with it when we were exploring with our kink, we played with D/s and had fun with it but we never took it to seriously enough to pursue it any farther than in the bedroom for the sex.   


Queenie: Hey Bob :) Have you or Bobbie ever started to have second thoughts about DD? If so, what did you do about it?

ROFLMAO. Shaking my head back and forth. If you only knew how many times we stopped and started DD, you would sit there and wonder how we did it. If I did something that Bobbie didn't like she would say, “Fine I quit”; and if she didn’t do what I wanted her to do I would say the same thing. The thing that kept it all together was that when one of us quit the other would say no you’re not. This seems to be working and we are not going back to the way we were. We would always go back to square one. We would make a pot of coffee, sit at the table, hold hands and then just talk of why we did this or that. At times, our commenting on of each other hurt because of the way one of us stated how one of us was acting. After much communication and after a few false starts we finely got it right and neither of us has said I quit. Oh yes we still get upset with one another but we have never ever again said, “I quit”

Bob