Words Part 2

 

Danger! Danger! You are entering the mind of Bob go no further because this is about words again and how they can mean one thing and at the same time mean something else

I am amazed on how much we skirt around issues when we try to define what we are talking about and how we interpret the words spoken.

 

Bobbie and I were talking to some like-minded friends the other day and we were talking about DD in general (what else would DD couples talk about) and we ended up talking about submission and what it meant to them. They said that it gave them great pleasure in making their man happy; doing little things to make his life easier and to show their apprehension in return of what he does for them.

 

We also talked about some of the different types of submission one could have such as she could do it as serving him, doing it out of love and of course, she is doing it because of his authority. All these are valid reasons for being acts of submission but as we cruising along in the conversation, I asked a simple question that I have been toying with for a long time, could an HOH be submissive to his wife while still being the HOH?

 

Well the breaks went squealing and there was a big information pile up and we came to a dead stop in the conversation they looked at me as if I just spoken in tongues. One person said no I could ever submit to my husband because I have no authority over him and I could not submit to a person like that. Another said that no the HOH does not submit, he pleases her by doing extra things for her because that is what HOH does.  

 

Therefore, the race started and like a scene in an old western movie, everyone went for their smart phones, went to their favorite search engine, and looked up what the definition of submission is as following:

 

World English Dictionary

submissive (səbˈmɪsɪv) of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility

 

Urban dictionary

A person in BDSM who submits to a Dominant person. A submissive can be a slave and/or the bottom (the person being tied up or whipped, etc.).

One who gives over their rights, their desires, and themselves to another. As a gift.

A male/female who is sexually submissive to their Master/Dom by choice. The "GIFT" if submission is earned by respect it's not just given.

 

The free dictionary

of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility

submissively adv

submissiveness n

 

I then asked them, “Then according to your description and that of the 3 dictionaries of what submission is, then what does a HOH do when he pleases his tih?”

 

They said it was his job to make sure that his sub was happy and content that is why he does it, it was part of being a HOH.

 

“What do you call it when a wife goes out of her way to please her man is she being submissive?”

 

The answer was yes.

 

“If the woman serves her man before herself, what was it? If she does thing to make his life easier and more fulfilling and is doing it out of love?”

  

Again the same answer

 

Then I asked, “If it is ok to say that if she does all this for her HOH, she is submissive, but when we apply the same thing to the HOH he is not submissive because he is a HOH. Just because he is, the HOH does not mean he cannot be submissive to her needs or wants. Does this diminish his dominance because the HOH goes out of his way to please his wife to make sure she is lacking for nothing?

  

I think he can perform both, being a HOH and submissive at the same time because he is filling her need on different levels mentally and physically.”

 

If one was to strip away all the kink, rules, regulations and rituals of DD, to its bare essence, what you will see is two people going out of each other’s way trying to make one other happy and content. Neither being submissive nor dominant but being loved because when one is being loved, totally loved, who has a need for anything else.

Bob

 

 

 

DD Recipes

 

Do you remember when you first started to walk in your new DD lifestyle with your significant other? Just like me, you were probably all giddy inside thinking that you are really going to do it this time. Then it occurred to you that if truth be told you have no plan. You probably ran to the internet to read all your favorite blogs seeing how they started. You started searching for that right recipe that would fit you. You took some of this blog and some of that blog thinking that you could make it your own. What you really ended up with was a generic recipe to start your new lifestyle. Which, in the beginning, wasn’t a very bad choice because it turned out to be a simple DD dinner easy to put together. All the ingredients were in the DD box, all you had to do was supply the meat, mix it all in a bowl, cook it and you were ready to go.

In the beginning when I was learning to become a chef in DD cooking, I didn’t always get it right. The recipes that I mixed up didn’t always go together and in my haste to get to the main course some ingredients were just missing resulting in a disastrous meal. Sometimes being over spanked too well, under spanked and then nobody liked the meal.

Now that Bobbie and I have a few generic DD meals under our belt we have found that although generic recipes are fine, we wanted to branch out to create our own dish to make it truly our own. I like being the chef, experimenting with different ingredients, subtracting paddles, straps and adding wooden spoons, spatulas and some exotic spices like loopy Johnny and canes to the mix to create that special signature recipe just for the two of us.

Here is one of my famous recipes. Unwrap the rump of roast of all clothing then gently place the rump roast on a pile of pillows position them all gently on the bed cover with blanket till ready. When ready to cook the rump roast remove the blanket then gently tenderize it with the rub of “a callous hand” then opening a bottle of “old English leather paddle” to heighten the pink color of the meat. Then slowly bring the tempeture up to the person’s taste whether it is rare, medium rare and of course, I think most people (women) prefer their rumps well done. WEG

 

 

What are some of your famous recipes?

 

 

Have a good spanking day.

Bob

Hi I'm Bobbie

Hello my name is Bobbie . I am Bob’s other half. I have been following his postings and I think it is time for me to come out and properly introduce myself to his blogging friends.

 

I am 58 years old and I am starting to enjoy getting spanked. It has been a long journey for me. So grab a cup of coffee, sit back and I will take you through that journey.

 

We have been married for what seems like forever.  Thirty-eight years later this year and although we had more good years than bad there was just something missing.  In the beginning Bob worked a lot of hours and I was left with making all the decision making fell in my lap. Being Bob worked so many hours he just nodded his head in approval and I handled everything. As the years went along I got more independent and that is when we realized that something was missing.

 

Bob quit his business and tried to get back into the decision making and that is when it seemed like we were always a bit off kilter with each other. By that I mean that we were good to each other but we didn’t go out of our way to let each other know what was happening. We ran into a lot of problems because neither one of us knew what we were doing.  If we had to do something as a couple or a team that is when tried to wrestle control from each other.

 

 I always knew Bob had a dark side to him and that he loved to spank me.  Because of the way we first approached it I was not comfortable with it.  It was too harsh.  I felt demeaned.  Like I was being put on the bottom rung of the ladder.  I should walk 15 steps behind him. It was an awful feeling because I knew that he loved me with his whole heart and soul.  I loved him beyond belief.

On behalf of his defense, being that it was the late 60s there was hardly any information on the proper way to conduct a proper spanking. He has been reading about spanking desires since he was 14 years old along with reading true detective and true romance stories (to those of you are too young to remember our moms just loved these two magazines). 

 

The first time he approached me with the D/D lifestyle, I didn’t want anything to do with it.  I told him to stay right where you are and I ran for the hills.  Nothing was said about it for a long time until about three years ago. We were both unhappy because it became a fight of who was in charge.  We realized both of us couldn’t be the leader.  There had to be a change. Bob went on the internet and was searching and he found a way to explain D/D to me. He explained it in such a way that it was no longer threatening nor demeaning to my self-esteem. Then he asked if I wanted to try it out in the bedroom to see if I would like it. At that time, he was involved in a chat room, Joannie and Friends to be exact, it is a D/D forum, and they kept asking for me to come in and talk (sound familiar?). At first I didn’t want anything to do with it.  Then I started to look over Bob’s shoulder  and realized they were wonderful people. They helped me come out of my shell and showed me the way of the D/D lifestyle.  Then Bob asked me if I would be interested in this type of lifestyle.  We agreed to keep it in the bedroom until I was comfortable and three years later here I am.  (Thank you to all my friends at Joannie and Friends).

 

We did a six week submission program.  It consisted of a spanking every day for six weeks. He did not spank me hard. It was more for me to get use to being over Bob’s knee and giving up control to him. I was very into work and I did not talk about my problems because I always tried to solve them thinking I could solve them myself. Through this exercise I have learned how to say “Us” instead of “Me” to include Bob in everything that I do. Although it doesn’t always work that way, we now know the danger signs when we both start to shut down.

 

Just as we were making big plans to come out of the bedroom, Bob’s knee decided that it needed to be replaced NOW!. And being the good wife that I am I couldn’t let him have all the fun so I decided to have a sciatic nerve attack. And that put us out of commission for three months. Which was a blessing because all we could do is talk.

 

We have been doing this for 5 months.  We have had our ups and downs, more of the former and less of the latter.  Yeah us!

 

Because of the experience difference that Bob wrote about, we are learning to communicate better than before and have learned to compromise. We are learning to convey our feelings, our wants, our needs, and finding a way to satisfy both desires.  We still keep in contact with the people in Joannie and Friends and have come in contact with some new friends and chat with them regularly and they have helped us out.  They have given us some great advice and walked us through some of our rough times.

 

Bobbie

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Britsh Quiz

To My UK friends since you took my test about the American culture I found one about British culture I thought it would be fair for us to do one of yours.
It was brought to my attention that you have not heard of M&M candy so here is a couple of you tube videos of them.
http://www.youtube.com/user/mmschocolate?v=2KiR7rMB5Jg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q33drZUXSzY

1. What are the nations that compose the UK?
2. What is England’s national flower?
3. How many inhabitants are there in England?
4. What is the most popular food in Britain?
5. What river flows in London?
6. What is the Tube?
7. What is a double-decker?
8. What is the name of the famous London clock?
9. Who is David Cameron?
10. Saint George is the patron saint of England. He was famous for killing something, what was it?

 

11. Where is the Rosetta Stone?
12. Where are the House of Lords and the House of Commons situated?
13. What is Madame Tussauds?
14. What is the British currency?
15. What is 221B Baker Street famous for?
16. Why is 10 Downing Street famous?
17. What is a bobby?
18. What village in Somerset is famous for its cheese?
19. What is the name of the British flag?
20. What is the town of Stratford upon Avon famous for?

21. What is Liverpool famous for?
22. What are the main two political parties? Are they right or left wing?
23. Which religious building did Christopher Wren build?
24. What is Hadrian’s Wall?
25. Who won the Battle of Trafalgar?
26. Who were Elizabeth the first’s parents?
27. Name Henry VIII’s six wives.
28. What is Harrods?
29. Name the four Beatles.
30. What did Forrest Mars invent in 1933?

31. Who is Nessie?
32. When is Poppy Day? What do the English celebrate?
33. When is Boxing Day? What do people do?
34. What do the letters BBC stand for?
35. What is a GP?
36. What is an MP?
37. What is the NHS?
38. What is the RSPCA?
39. What is the RAF?
40. In what book can you find the following quotation: “To be or not to be, that is the question.”

41. Who wrote Murder on the Orient Express?
42. Who wrote Robinson Crusoe?
43. Who wrote Pride and Prejudice?
44. Who wrote Oliver Twist?
45. Who wrote Animal Farm?
46. Who wrote Harry Potter?
47. Who wrote A Brave New World?
48. Who wrote The War of the Worlds?
49. Who wrote Frankenstein?
50. Who wrote Wuthering Heights?

51. When was the Queen born?
52. When was her coronation service held?
53. What is the name of the primary residence of the British monarch?
54. Name Queen Elizabeth’s four children.
55. Who was the Prime Minister when Queen Elizabeth acceded to the throne?
56. What is the motto of the British monarch?
57. Who is the only British monarch who has reigned longer than Queen Elizabeth?
58. What was Prince Philip’s religion before he married the Queen?
59. What is Queen Elizabeth’s favourite breed of dog?
60. Concerning the line of succession, what is the main difference between the British monarchy and the Swedish monarchy?

Congratulations to all that were brave enough to take this quiz! Here are the answers.

Once again I must say I did an excelent job af answering all 60 questions right. Now we all know it is not because I had all the answers when I was taking it right, right?   LOL

What why are you all looking at me as if  I cheated. Ok, ok  I can't stand you all that staring at me like that.  I cheated I only 20 right   

1. What are the nations that compose the UK?
England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Island
2. What is England’s national flower?
The rose
3. How many inhabitants are there in England?
52 million
4. What is the most popular food in Britain?
Fish and chips (curry is another possible answer)
5. What river flows in London?
The Thames
6. What is the Tube?
The London underground
7. What is a double-decker?
A bus that has two storeys
8. What is the name of the famous London clock?
Big Ben
9. Who is David Cameron?
The Prime Minister
10. Saint George is the patron saint of England. He was famous for killing something, what was it?
A dragon

11. Where is the Rosetta Stone?
In the British Museum
12. Where are the House of Lords and the House of Commons situated?
In Westminster Palace
13. What is Madame Tussauds?
A wax museum
14. What is the British currency?
The pound
15. What is 221B Baker Street famous for?
Sherlock Holmes’s fictional address
16. Why is 10 Downing Street famous?
Residence and office of the Prime minister

17. What is a bobby?
A policeman
18. What village in Somerset is famous for its cheese?
Cheddar
19. What is the name of the British flag?
The Union Jack
20. What is the town of Stratford upon Avon famous for?
Shakespeare’s birthplace

21. What is Liverpool famous for?
The Beatles
22. What are the main two political parties? Are they right or left wing?
Conservative party (Tories) right-wing, Labour party (Whigs) left-wing
23. Which religious building did Christopher Wren build?
Saint Paul’s Cathedral
24. What is Hadrian’s Wall?
A stone and turf fortification built by the Roman Empire in northern England to stop attacks by Scottish tribes
25. Who won the Battle of Trafalgar?
Admiral Nelson
26. Who were Elizabeth the first’s parents?
Henry VIII and Ann Boleyn
27. Name Henry VIII’s six wives.
Catherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Catherine Howard and Catherine Parr
28. What is Harrods?
An upmarket department store
29. Name the four Beatles.
John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr
30. What did Forrest Mars invent in 1933?
The chocolate Mars bar

31. Who is Nessie?
The Loch Ness monster
32. When is Poppy Day? What do the English celebrate?
November 11th; a memorial day observed since the end of World War I to remember the members of the armed forces who have died in wars
33. When is Boxing Day? What do people do?
December 26th; beginning of the sales
34. What do the letters BBC stand for?
British Broadcast Corporation
35. What is a GP?
General Practitioner
36. What is an MP?
Member of Parliament
37. What is the NHS?
the National Health Service
38. What is the RSPCA?
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals
39. What is the RAF?
the Royal Air Force
40. In what book can you find the following quotation: “To be or not to be, that is the question.”
Hamlet

41. Who wrote Murder on the Orient Express?
Agatha Christie
42. Who wrote Robinson Crusoe?
Daniel Defoe
43. Who wrote Pride and Prejudice?
Jane Austen
44. Who wrote Oliver Twist?
Charles Dickens
45. Who wrote Animal Farm?
George Orwell
46. Who wrote Harry Potter?
J.K. Rowling
47. Who wrote A Brave New World?
Aldous Huxley
48. Who wrote The War of the Worlds?
H.G. Wells
49. Who wrote Frankenstein?
Mary Shelley
50. Who wrote Wuthering Heights?
Emily Bronte

51. When was the Queen born?
April 21st, 1952
52. When was her coronation service held?
June 2nd, 1953
53. What is the name of the primary residence of the British monarch?
Buckhingham Palace
54. Name Queen Elizabeth’s four children.
Charles, Anne, Andrew, Edward
55. Who was the Prime Minister when Queen Elizabeth acceded to the throne?
Winston Churchill
56. What is the motto of the British monarch?
Dieu et mon droit
57. Who is the only British monarch who has reigned longer than Queen Elizabeth?
Queen Victoria
58. What was Prince Philip’s religion before he married the Queen?
Greek Orthodox
59. What is Queen Elizabeth’s favourite breed of dog?
The Welsh Corgi
60. Concerning the line of succession, what is the main difference between the British monarchy and the Swedish monarchy?

Sunshine Award

 

I was nominated for the Sunshine Award by Viola Di Marzo. This award is given as a "thank you" present to other bloggers who “creatively and positively inspire others in the blogosphere.”

 

I am sorry to say that I don’t know that much about my fan. All that I can tell you about her is that she lives in Europe somewhere, she has a blog named Purple Explosion and that she has read most of my posts

And now to the questions:

Favorite Color: Being a great big fan of spanking Bobbie the color is of course RED

Favorite Animal: The Majestic Bald Eagle

Favorite Number: ahhhhh I don’t have a favorite number

Favorite Non-alcoholic Drink: Tea, Fago Red Pop

Facebook or Twitter: I use to be on Facebook but now I am never on it and I have no Idea how to get into Twitter.

Your Passion: Reading, Photography, spanking Bobbie, talking to like minded friends in chat.

Giving or getting presents: Both, I love to watch their faces when they open their gifts and I love the thought that they took time out of their lives to buy me something special

Favorite Day: 09/12

Favorite Flowers: Roses

My nominations are:

 

Catrinka

 Joannie

 Kady

 R&K

 Quiet Sara

 sunnygirl

 Es May

 1950's Princess

 

oursharedbliss

 

If you want to play along, these are the rules:

(1) Thank the person who gave you the award in your blog post.

(2) Complete the Q&A below in your blog post.

(3) Pass on the award to 10-12 deserving and inspiring bloggers, inform them and link to their blogs.


Bob

 

 

 

 

HAPPY BIRTDAY PIPPI

 I want to dedicate this post to a wonderful young lady that we in blog land have gotten to know and in that time has touched our hearts with her eagerness to learn, to make you feel like you belong, and especially her contagious enthusiasm for life  

Please leave a Happy Birthday Wish for Pippi 

 

 

 

 

 

The Letter I

A blow with a word strikes deeper than a blow with a sword.
Robert Burton

A word from the mouth is like a stone from a sling.
Spanish Proverb

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.
Pearl Strachan Hurd

If the word has the potency to revive and make us free, it has also the power to blind, imprison, and destroy.
Ralph Ellison

 

Out of all the muscles in your body, the strongest one happens to be your tongue (medical fact) but it has power in more ways than just the physical. Words been known to achieve some of the most incredible feats known to humanity throughout history. Words are what carry out the orders to declare war or to avoid it, words have destroyed or created entire empires, and words have glorified or assassinated a person’s character s and I am sure you can easily add to the list.

The one word that I want to write about that I think is on the top 10 list of dangerous words is the (I) word, it’s a simple word, it is the ninth letter in the alphabet and it’s imposable to misspell. (Even for me) J  Here is the story of why I dislike that letter

In the early years of our marriage when Bobbie and me used the word “I”, when spoken it had a positive up lifting meaning for us it was defined as , we, us, let me help, or I’ll do it for you, when used it meant for the betterment for us as a couple, it was an act of kindness.

Now as the years passed and we have gotten use to each other, involved in our own thing and doing the duties, that each of us took. Slowly something terrible happened we stopped talking to each other we never asked if either one of us needed help we left each other to their own device thinking that every thing was ok. I suspect that is when the meaning of that insidious letter changed, it morphed into something entirely different, now when I hear the word “I” I hear me; mine, my, no one else, alone. We had both changed a word that was positive to one that was negative.

As I was learning the new meaning of the word “I” when I hear Bobbie saying the I word,  it would set the hairs on the back of  my neck up, my ears would perk up and I get real attentive fast because she was attempting to do something by herself. This in itself is not a bad thing but Bobbie a very proud person who use to think that she could do everything by herself.  Left to her own devices Bobbie has a way of getting way over head in her projects and sometimes I was the last one to know about it or until it blew way out of proportion.

Now that we are in a DD relationship when I hear Bobbie say the letter I, especially when it’s suppose to involve us, I gently say WE are… instead of her saying I am going… If that doesn't work then it's a trip to the wood shed for a board meeting.  Life is so much better when it is WE as a team than when its I alone.

Trying To Hold it Together

As we all can attest we all have our up's and down's in the travels od our lives, this is one of my down peroid times in our TTWD.

There are days when trying to hold everything together just gets too much, today is one of them. Bobbie and me are going through some rough roads together, bickering with our differences on how things should be and how they really are. I want to lead her down a different path than the one we are now I want to spread my wings and I want to fly to soar a bit higher than she does now and as cold as it may sound at this moment I feel like she is holding me back.

As in the previous post in Harmony, were I was talking about moving at the same speed being as one and Expatiations where we are on two different planes of thought and experience.  Well the movement has shifted and we are out of alignment moving ever close and farther apart depending on what heated discussion we are on and I know who is at fault.  Not Bobbie’s she has no idea as of this writing what is going on. She is content, happy where we are so as you guessed, I am the culprit who is in error and I haven’t found my way out of the maze of want and wishing. They are keeping me from looking for the right formula to get ourselves back into alignment so we have gone backwards a few (a lot) of steps.

My expatiations are rising and I am getting antsy, I got the itch that I want more I am hungry to explore new things, I think and breathe DD. While this is going on I have been distant, I have gone to my faraway place, a safe haven, a place that I go to think, I lose myself in thoughts, incomplete writings that will never see their full potential and as you, my lady friends in blog land call it “way over thinking it.” I think that this is something like what you women go through when you want more spankings or your HOH to take more control over you?

Although Bobbie does not know about my mood she can sense it, she knows something is up because she knows me so well. So, I know I have to tell her what is going on because I would expect the same from her to openly tell me what is going on.

I can picture the expression on her face when I tell her what is going on with me, the first reaction is going to be that it is her fault and then she is going to say but I can try harder. How can one fix something when it is not their fault? I cannot nor will I accept her to try anything that she is not ready for what kind of man would I be to take advantage of the situation and possibly destroying the greatest gift she has given me her trust.

So by the time you read this Bobbie will know what is bothering me and we will talk about it and probably  even come up with a solution on how to correct our my free fall.

I know how to fix it, I have to get my head out a**, quit wishing it were different because it isn’t and I have to come back to reality that we are still growing and start walking slow just like a little child would. Then as we grow into this TTWD, we will be able to run with the big kids. The most important thing is that or arms won’t be so tired stretching out to the max while holding onto one another and keeping our eyes on each other so we don’t get totally lost.

 

Bob

Submission

I was searching for some info and I came upon this article about what submission is and is not, I thought it had some excellent points. What do you think?

What Submission Is Not

“Do you think I am submissive to my husband?” I asked nearly two hundred young college women during a seminar on preparing for marriage. We all had a good chuckle over their negative responses. One said I was “too tall” to be submissive, and another said I “talked too much!” What crippled ideas we have concerning the meaning of submission.

Not many years ago I had to grapple with the question of submission to my husband, and it wasn’t a joke. Could a strong-willed, dominant person such as I am submit? In high school I had been a leader, team captain, director, manager, and supervisor of nearly everything there was to lead, direct, manage, or supervise. Was this what I wanted for my marriage? Somehow I had to come to grips with the overall concept of what it means to be a submissive wife in a supportive relationship.

My study revealed that a doormat wife was just as far from God’s ideas as is the henpecked husband. Neither extreme was ever intended for a complete marriage. The Christian direction is for mutual submission, but at the point of conflict the wife is encouraged to submit, adapt, or yield. This, however, does not mean that a wife remains silent, leaving everything to the discretion of her husband. If she feels she has an insight or special understanding of a matter, she is obligated to share this with her husband so that he can take her opinions into his decision. If she withholds her feelings and knowledge on the matter, she is being less than submissive, for she has not given a willing response.

Submission does not mean helplessly depending on a man by refusing to accept responsibility or making decisions when necessary. A wife has her obligations and should remain free to carry them out. When decisions need to be made, she checks out her plans with her husband and assumes responsibility from that point on. If he is not available to consult, she acts in accordance with her best judgment.

Nor is submission servility. A wife who perceives her husband’s judgment as wrong or disastrous to the family’s welfare should tell him so –with respect, but firmly and honestly. If an issue arises and a wife says, “Do whatever you think is right, dear, “and never offers an opinion even when she sees that her husband is heading for trouble, she is not submissive, but foolishly servile.

Blind obedience isn’t the answer either. A woman who accepts an inferior position to her husband will lose his respect. Likely she has already lost respect for herself or will soon do so when she does not allow herself to be a real person. An intelligent husband does not want a doormat.

The extremes of silence, helpless dependency, servility, and blind obedience are not attributes found in a supportive wife. A supportive wife possesses dignity, opinions, and spunk, but she also respects and responds to her husband’s supportive leadership.

What Submission Is

A submissive wife will willingly adapt her own rights to those of her husband, but how does this idea actually work in a supportive relationship? How far can a woman go in pushing her rights?

My husband expects to hear from me on major issues involving the family, and if I say nothing, he knowssomething is dreadfully wrong. If he makes a definite decision regarding the matter, I usually accept it, if for any reason I feel that he hasn’t considered all the angles, I will push a little further. At this point he may change his viewpoint, but if he gives me a flat no, I do my best to accept it. Other times I might be so outspoken as to say, “You may think you are right from your point of view, but I’m right from mine!” we may never agree on his decision, but I feel better because I can express my opinions. This freedom of expression is part of a supportive relationship too.

The adaptiveness required in submission is actually an attitude before it becomes an act. It isn’t a matter of mechanical obedience but a positive inner attitude. A wife might bend to every wish of her husband, but submission means willinglyadapting to the right of the other. So if it isn’t done willingly, it isn’t true submission. Underneath all her apparent compliance, she might be nursing insidious hurts and resentment that are stockpiling into a major case of bitterness. Sooner or later such rebellion will burst into the open and must be dealt with.

A submissive attitude will not stifle a woman’s personality, or any personality for that matter. Instead, it provides the best atmosphere for creativity and individuality to express itself in a wholesome way. God wants us to fully express His gifts to us of intelligence, insight, and common sense. Everyone’s personhood in a compleat marriage must be preserved at all costs.

Another aspect of submission is respect. A husband’s and wife’s respect for one another sets an example to the children. Fathers and mothers strive to teach their children cheerful obedience, but their training will be effective only when children see their parents leading the way.

Sometimes one spouse or the other is totally unaware of how many times in how many ways he or she is breaking down respect for the other. The mother may say, “Dad is boss,” but deep in her heart she knows this is not true, for she generally does as she pleases if there is a conflict of wills.

Children quickly notice when we fail to practice what we preach, if they see that Mother and Dad practice mutual respect, such an example cannot fail but to influence them. Every child needs a hero. A mother can help her children think of their father in this light rather than the Six Million DollarMan. Her attitude toward her husband will count in the children’s eyes.

“The noted criminal judge Samuel Liebowitz says, “If mothers would understand that much of their importance lies in building up the father-image for the child, they would achieve the deep satisfaction of children who turn out well. ‘Perhaps, then, he suggests, she would not have to stand before him in juvenile court with tears in her eyes to say those words he hears so often: ‘What did I do that was wrong, Judge—what did I do that was wrong?’ On the basis of his long experience, the judge offers a nine-word principle for reducing juvenile delinquency—‘Put father back at the head of the family’” (J. Allen Peterson, The Marriage Affair, p. 72).

A supportive wife will encourage even feeble attempts at leadership by showing her appreciation. When her husband makes a suggestion, she can decide to accept it graciously even if she doesn’t feel like it. Chances are she would have accepted the suggestion if someone other than her husband had made it. If a wife’s attention and appreciation reinforce her husband’s attempts at leadership, he will want to try again.

http://harhis23.hubpages.com/hub/The-Meaning-of-Submission-in-Marriage

 

Expatiations

 

 

When I first approached Bobbie with a DD relationship, she looked at me as if martin’s has just landed on earth and asked her to have their babies. After she finely stopped running and came back home we didn’t talk about it for a few years, oh we played some spanking games but nothing serious. About 3 years ago, I once again approached her about having a DD relationship, this time she didn’t run, but she listened to what I really was saying. Like everyone else in the world, we were having issues on how we were treating each other so we talked about what our goals were and we went into a binding agreement to have a DD lifestyle.

After we talked about our wants and needs, we talked about what our expatiations were for this new lifestyle to work. The first couple of weeks was great it was like being on a honeymoon no arguing, loving and finding no faults in what we were doing.

As time went on I started to notice that Bobbie wasn’t conducting herself like I thought she should, she was doing it differently. So like a good HOH I told her so, well as you can imagine that didn’t go well for either of us, words were said, threats were made and those dam walls started to up and we started to go back to the way we were.   

After repeating the above scenario a few times, I took a leave of absence and quietly went into an analytical mode replaying everything that went on between us trying to find out why she was sabotaging my authority (sounds real HOH’Y doesn’t it) J I found out that it was not Bobbie’s fault but it all rested on my shoulders. What I found out was that my expatiations were different than hers, once I figured that out, I started to think of why my expatiations was so different than Bobbie’s, I mean we were working for the same purpose right?

Here is what I came up with, I have been dreaming, thinking of this day happening like almost forever and how I wanted it to all go down, it was constantly being played out in my head, be it fantasy or reality and at times it was a mixture of the two. Bobbie on the other hand had her own version of how she wanted to do this, she was running with the information that we talked about and was trying to make this her own too.

When she didn’t do something the way I thought it should be done, I thought that she didn’t want to do it; she was going through the motions just to make me happy doesn’t that sound familiar?.

What I figured out through intense psychotherapy with me on the couch and Bobbie sitting in the chair, was that I am at a different level than she is; an example would be a brown belt in karate and a yellow belt trying to do the same technical moves. When the brown belt practices his moves, he expects the yellow belt to be at the same level as him and the same fluent moves that he has and we have seen enough karate movies to know how that is going to turn out, not good at all.

Just because I have a bigger passion for DD, that does not mean that Bobbie’s passion is any less than mine, hers is not as intense as mine is because she doesn’t eat live breath DD as I do. She may not care that much for details, she still gets the job done, but it may not be the same way that I would have envisioned it. Her mentality of DD is not the same as mine, and that is where the problem is. We have to figure out how to get to the same level as our partner; one has to move up while the other moves down a bit until they both reach the same level and then there can be in harmony with each other.

By me lowering my standards in what I expect in DD, does that mean we will get less of an experience in DD I don’t think so because how is she going to learn if I don’t explain it properly to her. I have to get to her level to explain it to her that way I can insure that she is not being set up for failure. As time goes by, I can keep bringing her up to where I am now.

 

At the same time, I too am learning to hone in on my communication skills and if I am smart enough by watching Bobbie’s expressions to learn her body language and then we can both benefit from this at the same time.

So now that we know what the problem is did we fix them and live happily ever after? Well no, we still fall short of being perfect but I realize now why things are the way they are.

We have to continually communicate with each other about what we are feeling, what’s not working, improve what is already working and then maybe just maybe when all the stars line up properly, we will get it right but we also have to remember to enjoy what we have how far and above all else enjoy what we have created.

 

Bob