Why aTIH should ask for a Spanking

This is a special request. JasonsGirl's people are talking to Bob's people on signing a long term multi billion dollar contract on posting together for the next couple of months or more but we need your help.

What topics would you like to hear us debate about?

The only stipulation is that it has to be SSC DD related. So if you have a question that you would like us to answer please drop us a line and we will consider all questions.
 

JasonsGirl from Taming ot the Shrew and I are collaborating on doing another post and it is about why is it so hard for the sub to ask the HOH what she needs and wants. JasonsGirl is taking the defense of you girls and you will get a well-written post on why you do what you do but I am speaking from the HOH point of view, the right view because I am the HOH, I am bias that way.

I will use Bobbie and I as the example. The picture that I have running through my head is Bobbie wanting a more structured lifestyle. I will say she wants more spankings, LOL, (yes I know, I can dream can’t I?) than she does now. So instead of coming to me and asking me that she wants more spankings, she just thinks about it, sits there and stews about it. Days go by and still no release from her wants and of course, I am probably oblivious to the whole situation and the problem festers until it erupts in the face of poor unsuspecting me.

Now I am on the defensive because I don’t know why she has lashed out the way she did so words are said, we argue and in the end she gets the spanking that she wanted but feels bad because she had to pick a fight to get it and the reasons go on and on. Yes, I can see you smiling because it probably happened to you a time or two.

I am going to go right to the heart of the problem, no sugar coating because you would want it this way. My answer is, “why in the heck didn’t Bobbie just ask for it.” She could have said “Bob I am off center and I think that a spanking would reset my compass. Would you please help me?” or any other scenarios that you would rather insert in that little saying.

Now I know the tih’s out there are gasping and saying, “but it’s embarrassing to ask my husband for it. It feels like I am taking control from him, that he is no longer leading by me telling him what I want or I am topping from the bottom." And the number one answer that I hear from you gals is... You should know what we want and need.

These are all good answers except the last one that still confuses me. However, in reality it doesn’t hold much weight. Let us look at the answers together and you are going to get a glimpse into this HOH’s mind so here we go. 


I am taking control from him: How can you possibly be taking control from him by asking your husband what you want. You are taking responsibility for your actions. You see a problem arising and you are taking control of your actions by notifying your man there is a problem with you. You are off center and you need his help to fix it. By not asking him that you need help is the problem. You could have eliminated the arguing, the distance that has now been created and having a harsher spanking if you would have just asked for it in the first place.
Topping from the bottom was talked about in my previous post so read that Here. Briefly, how can it be topping from the bottom if you are asking your husband for help with your needs or wants at that time as long as you ask and not demand it. It is still up to him to decide if he is going to grant your request or not.

Now I saved this one for last because I like this one bunches. It is embarrassing. Well sweetheart yes it could be but to tell you the truth that is when I love Bobbie the most. Not because she is embarrassed but because of all the emotions and expressions running through her facial expressions. When she is asking for what she wants, looking at her face like that, how can a HOH refuse the request because she is truly showing her submission by baring herself to you by asking you for help no matter how embarrassing it may seem. I think that one of the most important things that you as a tih wife can do is ask him for his help in whatever it may be whether it be a spanking or help with some struggle that you have. You are feeding his dominance. You are building up his confidence by making him part of the team instead of being the enforcer always watching, waiting to catch you doing something or waiting for the hammer to drop only to find that the problem could have been resolved much quicker and earlier.

You are also keeping the communication lines open. Feeding him information he may need to make decisions down the road that may affect the family. Is this a fix all so that there will peace and harmony in the family? Nope I am not even going to suggest that. But I do know that, being a HOH, it sure does help to know where the pitfalls may be and sometimes making wise decisions to help the family through some hard times.


Bob