How to Derail Your DD Marriage in Four Easy Steps

                                                               
Here are four common mistakes and old habits that can make a DD relationship harder to do.
1.Having unrealistic expectations: For months, you have read, researched, talked to other like-minded people who have a working DD relationship and now you have you own idea of how you want your DD marriage to be, so you bring it to your spouse and spring it on them. You tell them how happy the two of you will be and how there will finely be harmony in the household once more.  As he is mulling it over in his head and he is trying to rap his head around this new radical idea about changing the dynamics of their marriage. You get impatient because he is taking so long to decide what he wants to do or that he doesn’t ask enough questions on what exactly a DD marriage is. He agrees to try it and after a few missteps, he starts to flounder, so then you get upset because this is not what you envisioned or you find out it isn’t as fun as you thought because he is demanding that you be held accountable and (here goes ladies) you find out that spankings really hurt ?
2.Using words to hurt maim your marriage: As you are watching, your hopes and dreams of the DD lifestyle are not moving in the same direction that you thought it should go you start telling your spouse how it should be done (topping from below). You get mad at him because he didn’t move fast enough or he may not of handled it at all because he thought it was either not important or he thought he was showing mercy. As the longer it goes on you get more frustrated, so you relentlessly tell him that he doesn’t care, you tell him and whoever else that will listen, all his failures because he didn’t do it right or because he didn’t meet you expatiation.
3.Disrespecting his insight, opinions, and advice: You did a nice job of explaining to your S/O and he is on board with the program that you wanted. As he has grown into the new role, he starts to take over and starts to make changes the way he thinks it should be. He then starts directing you on how he wants to navigate his ship but it’s not what you want.  When you find out he has changed what you wanted, you try to wrestle his authority away from him, you disregard what he tells you to do or you do it completely the opposite of what he wants. You blatantly disrespect his advice when you come to him with a problem because it is not what you want to hear.
4.Undermining his authority, but demanding he take full responsibility: You resent your HOH for keeping track on your spending plus the rules that he has set up because in the beginning you wanted this now it’s like he is always there reminding you to do your chores, clean the house etc. 

So now you start doing things sloppy or you don’t do them at all and when he pulls you on the carpet for not doing what you were supposed to do, you make excuses that he wasn’t clear in his instructions or he didn’t say that and my favorite is, I did exactly what you told me to do knowing that he didn’t mean it that way.

I was guilty of three out of the four mistakes listed above, fortunately I was able to correct them early on in the beginning.   


Bob