Starting DD Take 4

 In the beginning stages of our DD relationship like every one else we had our usual ups and downs trying to find out what worked and what didn’t work and at times I tend to get antsy, upset and darn right confused because when we talk about changing or modifying our little dynamic lifestyle supposedly we are all on the same page then for some reason or another at the last minute she would change her mind and then back down.

 While she was having one these melt downs I would be leaning up against the wall with my hands folded across my chest trying to look all domly (that’s what the “How To Be Domly” book said to do, it’s right here on page 923)  J while in my mind I am saying here comes another set back while I am banging my head on the wall. As I am applying an ice pack on my forehead to reduce the swelling, I was assessing what the damage was so that I could figure out how to salvage what I thought I had lost in this last conflict.

We ended up stopping all activities with TTWD until we could identify the problem with these melt downs and hopefully fix them. What we did for the next few weeks was talk, and then talk some more on why she would shut down or if we even should continue to do DD.

While we were talking I brought my volumes of binders of my rules regulations and all the wonderful things I wanted to do to her and Bobbie brought her index card of the rules that she was going by. As soon as I seen the list between the two of us I knew I was in trouble, we talked and compared our notes.

After a few pots of coffee with Bobbie and I staring at each other with a bunch of talking to each other. What we found out was that we were at different levels in our experience of DD, what was normal for me was by no means normal for her that is when she would yell foul and shut down. Being that I was a bit slow that day and I had my best confused look on my face she explained it this way. She said “you have been thinking, dreaming of doing this stuff forever and you have a set way you want to do this, yes I do like it when you take control, watch over me and make me accountable for some of the things that I do but other than that I have no idea on how much I want this to be in our life or where I want to go with this.” 

In my glee to start this I ended up breaking one of DD’s biggest commandments not taking her into consideration on how she felt about the whole thing. Here I was like a kid in a candy shop taking all the candy I could and not thinking about the consequences of eating all that candy.

Bobbie’s sin was not telling me that she didn’t care for some of the things that we were trying because she was afraid that I would get mad at her.

  Although we both fell short of the mark we were able to pick each other up and continue our walk through DD land.

Bob