Older Generation

We are either seeing or hearing more and more stories about how the younger generation is taking care of their aging parents because they are living longer and as you all know Bobbie's dad is living with us and I have written about some of our adventures in this blog about him. Although at times when I write about him, I try to write funny things about him and by no means is it meant to be mean or disrespectful to the man. The reality is that he is very welcomed here because he has brought so much joy being in our household. But unfortunately, along with time he is slowing down where we have to take care of him more and more.

This poses a problem for those of us that live in a DD relationship. In some ways it is like having a child back in the household where you have to be careful of what you say and do in front of them. The simple solution that to use for a work around is that you could wait for them to go to bed then you can have your talk or other things that need addressing.

However, this problem is not feasible for us because Walter has no bedtime curfew. What do you do? We can't wait for Walter to go to bed because Walter on most nights stays up until 2 am watching TV and I am in bed by 11pm-12am at the latest. We can't whisper behind his back because he has super hearing and the man hears everything.

Since Walter has been living with us talking and discussing what is on our mind has never been a problem for us. If we need to talk to each other about something that we didn’t want Walter to hear about we would go for a road trip. We would put our shoes on, grab the keys, and proceed to tell him we were going to Bed Bath and Beyond to go buy some wooden spoons and if it was past 9 pm then it was Meijers for hair brushes. We then would jump in the van and drive around town while we have our talk. If we had to immediately address the problem then we would step outside and have our chat.

The trouble we were having was if it were more than just a chat, how does one do that without their live in guest knowing what was going on? It was a struggle at first because you can only say, “Sweetheart will you go downstairs with me and help me fold the cloths?” Take care of business and then make the one time mistake of walking up with the cloths basket filled with clothes. He caught on quick with that one. LOL You should have seen the look on our faces when he asked if we were folding cloths in the basement then why did we bring them up in the basket. Answer of course is we got side tracked.

Now that our time is limited on how long we can go out for our group meetings we are utilizing modern technology to communicate with each other. Although we are no more than 20ft away from each other at any given time, we now chat on the cell phones, computer, or tablets, kiking, emailing, or messaging each other.

We now have all kinds of conversations about our kinky friends. We are in the same room with him, and he hasn’t a clue of what we are talking about unless one of us speaks out while they are typing out their sentence. There has been several occasions that we have said “oh my gawd” and laughed so hard it was hard to find a story of what was so funny.

Other things we have done to get away is we have a fantastic nephew that spends the night with him while Bobbie and I spend the night out on the town and stay in a hotel somewhere to rejuvenate our batteries.

Since we can’t go for long hours at a time, we have broken up our days to take mini excursions where we disappear for a couple of hours at a time. We make sure he is all set and don’t have to move too far, and then jump in the van and occasionally we would check in to see if everything is ok.

We had fun with the construction of the Cone of Silence in the basement bathroom. We have a large cyber family in blog land and in chat that have supported us when we were down. Encouraging us to continue on by listening to us gripe when the “alone” times were scarce and if you are reading this my cyber friends, we thank you all for kicking us in the butt or giving us praises when we needed them for without you we might not of made it.

We even have found solitude as close as the bedroom. Although he is not far from us, it is far enough away where we can reconnect by just holding each other enjoying the closeness.

The sad part is that he needs our attention more now than he has in the past and he will need even more in the near future. We are ok with this. In fact, we are embracing it so when it does happen we can still give him the best care that we are capable of giving him and at the same time have some new and exciting way of having US time together. 

Bob