Wow this year flew by real fast didn't it? I was staring at the screen for the thousandth time wondering what I was going to write and sitting here in the quiet room because both Bobbie and Walter are snoring their little hearts, out I decided to write about what I am thankful for in our DD relationship.
I know those of us that have initiated DD first to our spouse or partner had a rough road and more than likely been may not be to where we want or perceive our DD relationship to be and at times it is reflected in our writings on how it is a struggle to maintain.
First off I am thankful for Bobbie. For without her none of this would have happened. I might still be dreaming about DD or spanking some girl. She has come so far from being the vanilla queen of non kink to (drum role please) Mrs. Vader mistress of the dark side lol.
She has embraced DD after struggling trying to find her comfort zone in our DD relationship. She is becoming active in the DD community trying to help others searching for answers in their walk with DD. No we are not perfect and we still fight and bug each other but now we have learned how to talk to each other to solve our differences.
I am thankful for the friends that I have made in blog land although we may never see each other we have a common bond in that we support one another in our trials and tribulations.
You all are amazingly supportive. I have seen you circle the wagons when one of us are hurting, attacked, cheer for our successes and when one of us has a bitch session you also lend us your ear.
I am thankful for the close friends we have made chatting, texting and emailing each other. Through casual chats we have made some very close friends and have met them several times.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Thursday, December 24, 2015
Friday, September 25, 2015
Rambling Thoughts
There has been a lot of talk lately about how one spouse is always not engaged in TTWD as much as the other and they almost never seem to live up to their partners potential and unfortunately the one who wants it the most is the one left holding the bag being hurt in the end.
It seems like we, the one who brought this lifestyle, are always in a catch up mode. It is three steps forward two steps back and then we have our bad days where it seems that what we have gained and are holding on tight like a life line see it slip from our tight grips falling ever so farther from us.
It seems we are forever explaining ourselves on why we think this is important in our lives when our spouse seems to be not so interested in it any more or when outside circumstances get in the way.
Another thorn in our sides is the inconsistences that our partners have, they (we) say xyz is going to happen and then it soon is forgotten and we get mad. Things are said and again the life line that we are hanging on to is less. These are but a few things that can happen and when they do happen make us lose more of our life line.
My personal opinion is that there are basically three things that cause our woes and it is US, Them, Real life.
The us: most of us have wanted this TTWD since what seems forever. We have eaten, drank and dreamt about how we were going to our DD life style right down to the crossed t's and dotted i's and when it doesn't happen we get mad because they are inconsiderate in our feelings.
We try to force feed them the information on why this endeavor is such a great idea or when we see them less interested we try to manipulate the situation to get back to where we think we should be. Heck I even went so far as to pouting and throwing myself on the bed when Bobbie wasn't interested in doing DD any more.
LOL I even remember the time when we got into a big argument because at the time she didn't seem interested in doing DD. I would say fine then I quit too. I am never going to ask you to try to do DD either (sigh pretty pathetic huh)
Them: They have been living with us for 10, 15, 20, 30 years then one day over coffee we are telling them that we want a DD relationship in all it's glory and they were looking at us as if we lost our minds or some government experiment went awry and we were the end results.
They jump on board and start hot and heavy then when it's time to think things through they slow down not sure what to do. So for them the next best thing to do is nothing and things soon come to a screeching halt.
Then there is the person who has fought for every inch of real-estate and then is told all future fighting will cease and desist but he is so use to fighting he is looking at every encounter for us to come out swinging.
Then sadly we have the person who is just not that interested in DD
and they see it as a job or just don't care to try to do it because of the responsibility's they will have.
Last one is real life. It has its own set of problems from health issues, kids to jobs. This can affect them in many ways and can be down right debilitating to try DD because they are expending all their energy taking care of real life problems.
So what do we do to fix it? Don't know sometimes I am in the same boat as all of you in fact I am sure we have passed ships once or twice lol.
What I try to do when I find myself in these predicaments is to sit back and look at the situation to see what Bobbie sees or take a break for a few days because with us we always seem to drift back to DD even when one of us fell off the boat.
The best tool that we have when used correctly is communication because as long as they are talking they are interested and then maybe something you say will finely click and the great DD light bulb will stay on.
Having patience, love, self control and friends in this lifestyle doesn't hurt either.
As long as we desire this type of relationship we are the ones that will bear our souls, cry, cajole, finagle and say I am swearing off trying this while at the same time trying to figure out new ways to get them on board with DD.
One last thought for my fine readers if you are at this point in your life with DD. Think back to the days before you started DD, what were they like?
Now think of the times when DD was working or even the way it is now, which is better? Was it before DD or after DD? That answer in itself should let you know what your next steps will be.
My guess is your going to jump back in the ring and try it again till we get it right.
Bob
It seems like we, the one who brought this lifestyle, are always in a catch up mode. It is three steps forward two steps back and then we have our bad days where it seems that what we have gained and are holding on tight like a life line see it slip from our tight grips falling ever so farther from us.
It seems we are forever explaining ourselves on why we think this is important in our lives when our spouse seems to be not so interested in it any more or when outside circumstances get in the way.
Another thorn in our sides is the inconsistences that our partners have, they (we) say xyz is going to happen and then it soon is forgotten and we get mad. Things are said and again the life line that we are hanging on to is less. These are but a few things that can happen and when they do happen make us lose more of our life line.
My personal opinion is that there are basically three things that cause our woes and it is US, Them, Real life.
The us: most of us have wanted this TTWD since what seems forever. We have eaten, drank and dreamt about how we were going to our DD life style right down to the crossed t's and dotted i's and when it doesn't happen we get mad because they are inconsiderate in our feelings.
We try to force feed them the information on why this endeavor is such a great idea or when we see them less interested we try to manipulate the situation to get back to where we think we should be. Heck I even went so far as to pouting and throwing myself on the bed when Bobbie wasn't interested in doing DD any more.
LOL I even remember the time when we got into a big argument because at the time she didn't seem interested in doing DD. I would say fine then I quit too. I am never going to ask you to try to do DD either (sigh pretty pathetic huh)
Them: They have been living with us for 10, 15, 20, 30 years then one day over coffee we are telling them that we want a DD relationship in all it's glory and they were looking at us as if we lost our minds or some government experiment went awry and we were the end results.
They jump on board and start hot and heavy then when it's time to think things through they slow down not sure what to do. So for them the next best thing to do is nothing and things soon come to a screeching halt.
Then there is the person who has fought for every inch of real-estate and then is told all future fighting will cease and desist but he is so use to fighting he is looking at every encounter for us to come out swinging.
Then sadly we have the person who is just not that interested in DD
and they see it as a job or just don't care to try to do it because of the responsibility's they will have.
Last one is real life. It has its own set of problems from health issues, kids to jobs. This can affect them in many ways and can be down right debilitating to try DD because they are expending all their energy taking care of real life problems.
So what do we do to fix it? Don't know sometimes I am in the same boat as all of you in fact I am sure we have passed ships once or twice lol.
What I try to do when I find myself in these predicaments is to sit back and look at the situation to see what Bobbie sees or take a break for a few days because with us we always seem to drift back to DD even when one of us fell off the boat.
The best tool that we have when used correctly is communication because as long as they are talking they are interested and then maybe something you say will finely click and the great DD light bulb will stay on.
Having patience, love, self control and friends in this lifestyle doesn't hurt either.
As long as we desire this type of relationship we are the ones that will bear our souls, cry, cajole, finagle and say I am swearing off trying this while at the same time trying to figure out new ways to get them on board with DD.
One last thought for my fine readers if you are at this point in your life with DD. Think back to the days before you started DD, what were they like?
Now think of the times when DD was working or even the way it is now, which is better? Was it before DD or after DD? That answer in itself should let you know what your next steps will be.
My guess is your going to jump back in the ring and try it again till we get it right.
Bob
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Need your help
Hello fellow bloggers
As some of you already know that I have inherited a DD forum that was called Joannie and Friends a couple of months ago which I have changed the name to CurleyBob and Friends. I now have most of the bugs fixed and the forum is now in operation.
This is a Domestic Discipline forum were the male is the HOH (Head of Household) and the female is the tih (Taken in Hand) in the relationship. I have taken over the forum because I want to try to give back to the community what you all so unselfishly have given to us; I want this to be a place where people can come in to talk about the joys, and tribulations in their lives. I would also like this to be a place where people can learn about DD, talk to others about problems they may be having and to help one another when one is struggling in their DD walk.
I have made this by invite only because I am looking for people that want to interact and to help others learn about DD. I am not looking for a large body count that don’t help one another but for a few that will try to give back to the community as you have.
I am asking all of you if you would please link the holding hand picture in the upper right hand corner to my web page www.curleybobandfriends.com so that likeminded people can find the forum. Your blog, if you choose to link me to it will be my only advertisement that I will have to let people know that we are here to give back to the community.
To all of my visiting friends that stop on by to say hi this also includes you, if you wish to see what we are about please click on the holding hands link in the upper right hand corner.
If you have any comments and or suggestions please feel free to leave me a reply or contact me through email at bobhoh9@gmail.com.
Thank you in advance for your help
Spanks and kisses (bobbie did this)
Some extra banners of my forum to choose from
Bob
Tuesday, June 9, 2015
Magic Tricks
I love magic tricks. Watching the magician walk on the stage in full control even if acts like he isn’t. He will display the trick and explain to the audience how he is going to make the card disappear then he asks for someone from the audience to examine the cards, confirm that they seem normal and then shuffles the cards to make sure they weren’t in order.
Now the magician will take the deck of cards and ask a person to pick a card out of the deck show it to everyone and place it in a box and lock it with the lock next to the box then does it again to a second person and tells him to put his card in his pocket. This is the first of three parts of a magic trick called the pledge.
The magician asks for the only key opens the box and the second person’s card is in there. This is the second part of the magic trick called the turn.
The third part of the magic trick called the prestige this is where he has to make what disappeared reappear. In this example the first man’s card now is in the second man’s pocket thus completing the trick.
I will always remember this magic trick that I did at my parents' house. It went something like this.
First step the pledge. One holiday the family was all together having a good time walking down memory lane talking about the dumb things we use to do. Laughing at things we did together or told stories of what happened to us in our daily lives. You get the idea. Until my father walks in…
Second step, the turn. My dad comes in and he is very opinionated this holiday and starts to agitate Bobbie as he always does to the daughter in laws from time to time. Bobbie blows up like a rocket and started to get even more agitated with my dad (not good) so I started to prepare for my all elusive magic trick.
My dad seeing that he got the response he wanted, he started to dig a little bit more then Bobbie started to raise her voice and my older brother sitting next to her shifted away from her while looking at her with big eyes like she grew an extra head.
Third step, the prestige. Just before all hell broke out I calmly called Bobbie's name looking at her we locked eyes and the bubbling pot went from boiling to simmering to tranquility the conversation drifted to other topics then it was time for supper. I was at the end of the line and my older brother was behind me and he said "How did you do that?"
"Do what? I didn't do anything" smiling
"How did you get Bobbie to shut up that fast and I would love to do that to my wife Pattie. You impressed me little brother"
I laughed and told him I don't think I could teach him because I really didn't do anything.
I am sure my very smart readers are saying I know how you did that or some may even say that's not a trick and you both are right. I really didn't do anything magical but we spent many hours of communication, practicing, rehearsing and refining our rolls in our DD relationship and making this a more happy marriage for the two of us now that my good readers is magical.
CB
Monday, June 1, 2015
Been a long time
I was just going through some of my files and other spanking paraphilia and decided to look at my old blog and chuckled to myself reading what I had said and how I had dreams of a huge following and having a lot to say about our DD lifestyle.
The last post was way back in December. Six months ago. That's a long time in the blogging world almost like an eternity and pondered what the hell Bobbie and I have been doing to stay away from writing about our journey in DD land.
Earlier today we were sitting outside and we were reminiscing about how far we have come and the turn of events that has taken us on a different path more so than we ever thought possible and yet in the same breath we have been doing nothing new with DD.
Oh sure we still have our guidelines in place and we are amicable to each other and surprise, surprise I still find reasons to spank her. It has become a part of us almost like a second skin like we don't have to think about it we just do it if that makes any sense.
Walter, Bobbies dad is still with us and he takes up most of our time and it has tested our sanity on more than one occasion. Bobbie still dos a lot for her dad and tries to be Super Daughter and well she just doesn't jump high enough any more to hurdle those tall buildings. She almost makes it but just gets tangled on the top and falls and I am there to catch her as she is plummeting down to earth. I become her fluff pillow to soften the fall so she can dust herself off and do it again.
This frail man never ceases to amaze me. How one man can teach us so much. Not about what he can do but what he can't do. The man holds his head high in dignity in spite of all the things he has against him. Indirectly he has taught us that no matter what is going on in our lives we can face them together because when your with the one you love there is no reason to face any thing alone and once again I thank him for that.
Although for the time being I have been absent from my blog, Bobbie and I have shifted our time to a chat room and are moderators in "A Domestic Discipline Society chat room". We and a handful of other people have helped that room grow to one of the most active chat rooms that I know of. We have Monday Night Topics where we discuss various topics of how DD effects our lives. Tuesday night is block party night were you can just let your hair down and have fun talking to like minded people and every other Thursday we have a tih and HOH chat in separate rooms where each set can chat what is going on in their DD lives.
Just recently Bobbie and I acquired a DD forum that was called Joannie and Friends but we changed the name to CurleyBob and Friends. This is the place we call home and where we grew u. There are many great teachers there that have taught Bobbie so much about this lifestyle and every day I silently say thank all of them.
How this new adventure will pan out no one knows but when I heard the doors might be closing because the owner didn't have enough time to tend to it I couldn't let it just close. So we offered to take it over and she graciously gave it to us to try and revive it.
So my people (me) have been talking to the admin staff people to fix some problems the forum has had and most of them have been fixed and soon I will be opening the doors to the public.
If you want to know more about it please click on the link in the upper right hand corner and read the little bio about the place.
Back to the story that I started I found a stash of spanking pictures it was like I hit the lottery. I forgotten that I even had them and I decided to go through them and get rid of the ones I didn't want. After a couple of hours of intense looking I only gotten rid of a few of the pictures.
Bobbie the smart woman that she is noticed that I was looking at spanking pictures and remembered the last time I did that she was involved in a spanking marathon with her being the star of the show was checking up on me every so often.
She came in with a glass of water watching me rub my eyes from the intense gazing of the pictures set the glass down and started to rub my neck and voicing her opion and it went something like this.
"Hate it, the girls butt is better looking than mine, hate it, the guy is ugly, hate it" then with enthusiasm she said "I like that one"
"That's because she is getting a foot massage and how did that picture get in there" so I deleted it
"So Bob how many pictures have you gotten rid of so far?"
My back straighten up more into her hands because she was missing a spot and said "what difference does it make how many I got rid of?"
When Bobbie heard that, like any carnivore animal smelling blood went for the kill and stopped rubbing my back "tell me and then I will continue scratching your back" what was I to do I am only human with certain needs after all.
So I told her and then the snickering and giggling began while she began to hug me "Is that all you got rid of? Only 200 pictures out of what 2,000, 20,000 pictures O My Gwad and you talk about me and my books"
I looked her straight in the eyes "Are you daft woman? 20,000 pictures? Let me clue you in little missy if I had that many pictures my hard drive would be full and just to let you know it's only half full so there"
Still laughing and snorting she whispered in my ear "If you....stop looking....and do that to....... I would be a happy wife"
Although I didn't hear all she said I got the jest of it so this is where this little post is going to end I have to find a paddle to teach my errant wife a lesson that I hope she will soon forget and do it again lol.
CB
The last post was way back in December. Six months ago. That's a long time in the blogging world almost like an eternity and pondered what the hell Bobbie and I have been doing to stay away from writing about our journey in DD land.
Earlier today we were sitting outside and we were reminiscing about how far we have come and the turn of events that has taken us on a different path more so than we ever thought possible and yet in the same breath we have been doing nothing new with DD.
Oh sure we still have our guidelines in place and we are amicable to each other and surprise, surprise I still find reasons to spank her. It has become a part of us almost like a second skin like we don't have to think about it we just do it if that makes any sense.
Walter, Bobbies dad is still with us and he takes up most of our time and it has tested our sanity on more than one occasion. Bobbie still dos a lot for her dad and tries to be Super Daughter and well she just doesn't jump high enough any more to hurdle those tall buildings. She almost makes it but just gets tangled on the top and falls and I am there to catch her as she is plummeting down to earth. I become her fluff pillow to soften the fall so she can dust herself off and do it again.
This frail man never ceases to amaze me. How one man can teach us so much. Not about what he can do but what he can't do. The man holds his head high in dignity in spite of all the things he has against him. Indirectly he has taught us that no matter what is going on in our lives we can face them together because when your with the one you love there is no reason to face any thing alone and once again I thank him for that.
Although for the time being I have been absent from my blog, Bobbie and I have shifted our time to a chat room and are moderators in "A Domestic Discipline Society chat room". We and a handful of other people have helped that room grow to one of the most active chat rooms that I know of. We have Monday Night Topics where we discuss various topics of how DD effects our lives. Tuesday night is block party night were you can just let your hair down and have fun talking to like minded people and every other Thursday we have a tih and HOH chat in separate rooms where each set can chat what is going on in their DD lives.
Just recently Bobbie and I acquired a DD forum that was called Joannie and Friends but we changed the name to CurleyBob and Friends. This is the place we call home and where we grew u. There are many great teachers there that have taught Bobbie so much about this lifestyle and every day I silently say thank all of them.
How this new adventure will pan out no one knows but when I heard the doors might be closing because the owner didn't have enough time to tend to it I couldn't let it just close. So we offered to take it over and she graciously gave it to us to try and revive it.
So my people (me) have been talking to the admin staff people to fix some problems the forum has had and most of them have been fixed and soon I will be opening the doors to the public.
If you want to know more about it please click on the link in the upper right hand corner and read the little bio about the place.
Back to the story that I started I found a stash of spanking pictures it was like I hit the lottery. I forgotten that I even had them and I decided to go through them and get rid of the ones I didn't want. After a couple of hours of intense looking I only gotten rid of a few of the pictures.
Bobbie the smart woman that she is noticed that I was looking at spanking pictures and remembered the last time I did that she was involved in a spanking marathon with her being the star of the show was checking up on me every so often.
She came in with a glass of water watching me rub my eyes from the intense gazing of the pictures set the glass down and started to rub my neck and voicing her opion and it went something like this.
"Hate it, the girls butt is better looking than mine, hate it, the guy is ugly, hate it" then with enthusiasm she said "I like that one"
"That's because she is getting a foot massage and how did that picture get in there" so I deleted it
"So Bob how many pictures have you gotten rid of so far?"
My back straighten up more into her hands because she was missing a spot and said "what difference does it make how many I got rid of?"
When Bobbie heard that, like any carnivore animal smelling blood went for the kill and stopped rubbing my back "tell me and then I will continue scratching your back" what was I to do I am only human with certain needs after all.
So I told her and then the snickering and giggling began while she began to hug me "Is that all you got rid of? Only 200 pictures out of what 2,000, 20,000 pictures O My Gwad and you talk about me and my books"
I looked her straight in the eyes "Are you daft woman? 20,000 pictures? Let me clue you in little missy if I had that many pictures my hard drive would be full and just to let you know it's only half full so there"
Still laughing and snorting she whispered in my ear "If you....stop looking....and do that to....... I would be a happy wife"
Although I didn't hear all she said I got the jest of it so this is where this little post is going to end I have to find a paddle to teach my errant wife a lesson that I hope she will soon forget and do it again lol.
CB
Wednesday, December 3, 2014
Role of the tih
When a person decides to try or look into a DD relationship to see if it is right for them, they will find many articles on what a tih is supposed to do and how they are to act in their new dynamic. Such as being polite and submissive, to be a follower, to be guided if you will and accepting correction for their misguidedness. But very little is written about what her role in the scheme of this is.
There are no mystical powers or magic pill to take when two people embark (agree) on a DD relationship. That it will automatically be a better place for them because like everything else that is worth having it is at times hard to make it work properly. When you boil it all down, it is more about common sense on how to treat one another.
The role of the tih is to complement her husband to make him a better person than he is now and to make their relationship more fulfilling in how they interact with each other and the surrounding world around them.
She will watch out for him, notify him if she sees any problems lurking in the background that he is not aware of. She is in constant communication with him. She does not go behind his back in making big decisions and she will talk to him so they both can find the best way to accomplish their goals.
She is his confidant. She’s there to talk to him about what is on his mind and at other times she will listen nonjudgmentally to his hopes and fears. She gives him her thoughts of where she thinks he is going and what pitfalls that he may encounter. If she sees her HOH slacking in certain areas she will gently try to guide him back on track.
She will provide the tools necessary to accomplish his goals to further the family lifestyle so it can be more fulfilling and easier. She will build him up, respect him, and honor his decisions.
She will build him up, trust him, rely on him, and lean on him. In order to support him, she has to be willing to let him fully support her.
She to give him a reason to feel accomplished and satisfied with our relationship and it gives them both the control to handle any arguments.
This is just a few of the roles a tih does to do to keep their DD dynamic going.
How do you see your role as a tih?
Bob
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