Thursday, October 24, 2019


I have been visiting blogs, chat rooms and forums for some time now and I am amazed at how some people talk in the open media where everything you say is almost instantly saved, cataloged and almost immediately out there for the masses to see when they go on a rant on how their S/O isn't doing DD the way they think it should go.

Some of the information is entertaining, informative or just plain ole gossip so they can hear themselves talk. What is amazing to me is the way some people talk about things that I would consider disrespectful to their partners and friends be they Tops or bottoms.

Things I am hearing are “my husband just doesn’t get it after doing this for xxx amount of time” or “my wife all she does is (insert here) and it’s driving me crazy, I don’t think she cares about being submissive” and the list goes on and on.

First of all in defense of all these unhappy people that truly want this type of lifestyle and it just isn’t going the way you want it to, let me say that I totally understand your frustrations from dreaming about it then finally getting the green light to go forward.

 Now you are thinking about how it is going to be a life-changer because your partner said yes; and then, after all that, hitting a brick wall at 100 miles an hour. I truly feel your pain and bewilderment in what you are going through.

It’s like you just slammed your finger in the car door type of hurt. It hurts real bad to see your hopes crushed because it isn’t going the way you always thought it would.

Let me give you some advice if you are the one that wants this bad enough that all you do is think about 24/7. It probably will never truly be happy because it will never be what you want it to be. There will always, more than likely, be something off.

                                   Warning Detour Ahead. 

I have to say this first before I continue with the post that I am very happy with what Bobbie has given me and that she continues to amaze me as she becomes more submissive to me. She has given me her best that she can at this time and she is stretching herself every day trying to accommodate my needs and wants. It is definitely a beautiful work in progress on how much she has grown in this lifestyle. For that sweetie, I am forever grateful most of the time 😈               

                                                End Of Detour 

How do I know this? It’s because I am one of you, I like you have dreamt of the day Bobbie would say yes to DD and when that day came I was the happiest man alive I hit the jackpot or so I thought. We did everything according to the book we talked and talked some more about how we were going to be a team working together. 

The one thing that I didn't take into account was that I am a spanko and Bobbie is not. So what I really want to do, the way I always envisioned it, I will probably never get to do. Bobbie does not like hard spankings, and it is not for just because it hurts, it is because it puts her in a very bad place it is one of her very hard limits. 

One problem you will have is that you are at a different level than your spouse. You have read just about everything there was to read. A lot was good and some not so good. Your spouse probably has read nothing at all if very little. 

Think of it this way, your wife or husband loves exercising. They are fanatics about it. Then they ask you to come to the gym with them to shed some pounds to get healthier.  

So you agree. You see them running top speed on the tread mill and then lifting those weights and not even breaking a sweat. And here you are panting and sucking in air as fast as you can all the while you think they are trying to kill you after being on the tread mill for 5 minutes. 

Then after a few months of swearing you are never going to do this and as time goes by you slowly start to run with the top dogs in the gym. 

How did we work around it? Through a lot of trial and error, communication, experimenting and going slow. Did I say going slow? Checking back yes it’s in there. There are no fast lanes to get from where you are  to where you want to be.  Chances are if you’re in the fast lane you’re going to miss some vital warning signs and end up on a not so good road and there will be damage to repair before you start your trip again. 

So what happens if they can’t come to a level you think you should be? Let me ask you a question, what did you have before you started this journey? If you are like me you had zilch nothing nada. 
Isn’t something better than nothing? Especially if she is doing the best she can. What more can we ask of them?  

I have found I don’t need everything that I wanted or thought that I wanted because we both are working together in making our lives better with each other and when we boil it all down isn’t that what we truly want is to be happy in the short time we are together?

To be continued: 



  1. Very sweet post Bob Guess I'll go do what I'm SUPPOSED to do, and have been adimately opposed to today.


  2. OMG did I just motovate you with one post? Oh heart be still.

    1. Slow down there mister! LOL I was nine tenths of the way there already. Besides, apparently it was too late!

  3. Hi Bob,

    This is such a great post. Not being at the same level is something many of us face. Looking forward to reading more:)


  4. Hi Roz.
    Thank you for your kind words I enjoyed writing this and hope it might help answer a few questions that some folks have wonder about.