Rambling

I have been visiting blogs, chat rooms and forums for some time now and I am amazed at how some people talk in the open media where everything you say is almost instantly saved, cataloged and almost immediately out there for the masses to see when they go on a rant on how their S/O isn't doing DD the way they think it should go.

Some of the information is entertaining, informative or just plain ole gossip so they can hear themselves talk. What is amazing to me is the way some people talk about things that I would consider disrespectful to their partners and friends be they Tops or bottoms.

Things I am hearing are “my husband just doesn’t get it after doing this for xxx amount of time” or “my wife all she does is (insert here) and it’s driving me crazy, I don’t think she cares about being submissive” and the list goes on and on.

First of all in defense of all these unhappy people that truly want this type of lifestyle and it just isn’t going the way you want it to, let me say that I totally understand your frustrations from dreaming about it then finally getting the green light to go forward.

 Now you are thinking about how it is going to be a life-changer because your partner said yes; and then, after all that, hitting a brick wall at 100 miles an hour. I truly feel your pain and bewilderment in what you are going through.

It’s like you just slammed your finger in the car door type of hurt. It hurts real bad to see your hopes crushed because it isn’t going the way you always thought it would.

Let me give you some advice if you are the one that wants this bad enough that all you do is think about 24/7. It probably will never truly be happy because it will never be what you want it to be. There will always, more than likely, be something off.

                                   Warning Detour Ahead. 

I have to say this first before I continue with the post that I am very happy with what Bobbie has given me and that she continues to amaze me as she becomes more submissive to me. She has given me her best that she can at this time and she is stretching herself every day trying to accommodate my needs and wants. It is definitely a beautiful work in progress on how much she has grown in this lifestyle. For that sweetie, I am forever grateful most of the time 😈               

                                                End Of Detour 

How do I know this? It’s because I am one of you, I like you have dreamt of the day Bobbie would say yes to DD and when that day came I was the happiest man alive I hit the jackpot or so I thought. We did everything according to the book we talked and talked some more about how we were going to be a team working together. 

The one thing that I didn't take into account was that I am a spanko and Bobbie is not. So what I really want to do, the way I always envisioned it, I will probably never get to do. Bobbie does not like hard spankings, and it is not for just because it hurts, it is because it puts her in a very bad place it is one of her very hard limits. 

One problem you will have is that you are at a different level than your spouse. You have read just about everything there was to read. A lot was good and some not so good. Your spouse probably has read nothing at all if very little. 

Think of it this way, your wife or husband loves exercising. They are fanatics about it. Then they ask you to come to the gym with them to shed some pounds to get healthier.  

So you agree. You see them running top speed on the tread mill and then lifting those weights and not even breaking a sweat. And here you are panting and sucking in air as fast as you can all the while you think they are trying to kill you after being on the tread mill for 5 minutes. 

Then after a few months of swearing you are never going to do this and as time goes by you slowly start to run with the top dogs in the gym. 

How did we work around it? Through a lot of trial and error, communication, experimenting and going slow. Did I say going slow? Checking back yes it’s in there. There are no fast lanes to get from where you are  to where you want to be.  Chances are if you’re in the fast lane you’re going to miss some vital warning signs and end up on a not so good road and there will be damage to repair before you start your trip again. 

So what happens if they can’t come to a level you think you should be? Let me ask you a question, what did you have before you started this journey? If you are like me you had zilch nothing nada. 

Isn’t something better than nothing? Especially if she is doing the best she can. What more can we ask of them?  

I have found I don’t need everything that I wanted or thought that I wanted because we both are working together in making our lives better with each other and when we boil it all down isn’t that what we truly want is to be happy in the short time we are together?

To be continued: 

Bob

Anger

You seem to hear about it every day on the TV news, read it in the newspaper or on the internet feeds on how crazy the world has gotten because people are so angry now and they are lashing out at whomever or whatever they can. 

It has become the focal point in conversations on how angry people are and sadly it seems to be breeding at an exponential rate. All this attention about violence and anger got me thinking about TTWD and does anger have a place in it?

First of all, let me say that violence of any kind has no place in any relationship be it a DD one or a vanilla one. It is abusive non-consensual and it destroys anything that is good. 

Our community is a finicky and very protective one which I am very grateful for. But I have noticed a few hot words that bring fire and brimstone from the person that is offended by what the other person was saying.

The hot word for the day is anger and my post today is "does it have a place in our little community?"   

How many times have we talked to our friends about so and so might be in an abusive situation because he spanked her hard while being angry or read about a blogger telling her story about how angry her husband was when he decided to discipline her.

The common answer from our concerned community most of the time is that the HOH should have waited until he has calmed down enough to address the problem. That DD should be suspended somehow until the HOH is no longer angry. But is that really true?

When the HOH sees red the veins in his neck and head are bulging and ready to pop or if he is destroying things it is probably safe to say he is not in his right frame of mind.  

I think that if for whatever reason the HOH cannot control their anger then they should avoid physical contact altogether. They should walk away and remove themselves from the situation as best as they can till they calm down enough to think rationally then revisit the problem at hand.

The anger obviously that I am talking about is the controlled type where the HOH is still under control of himself mentally and physically to deal with the circumstance in a sane logical manner.

Let's say, for example, that Susan comes home with a speeding ticket that some nice policeman gave her for going over 40 in a 25-mile zone. But she doesn't tell him she just pays the ticket thinking he will never know. 

A few months later the insurance company sends him the new contract on his auto insurance. He opens it and upon seeing the new cost of insuring the car, his eyes bulge, is he angry? I would say hell yeah he is.

He marches in the kitchen shows her the bill and tells her how angry he is then grabs her by the elbow and directs her into the bedroom and spanks her. But the big difference here is he is still under control and not screaming or saying how he is going to make her regret getting the ticket or saying regretful things that he will be sorry for later. 

I cannot imagine an HOH peppering his wife's butt for doing something wrong without being angry about it. Think about it for a second. The last long spanking you got for doing something really bad was he angry or very upset? I would say you would snicker and say oh yeah there was perhaps smoke coming out of his nose.

By him being angry he is relaying to his wife while spanking her that he is not a happy camper with what she has done and will not tolerate it. Also his tone of voice will indicate to her that he is highly upset with her.

Again I will say that violence of any kind has no place in any relationship be it a DD one or a vanilla one. It is abusive non-consensual and it destroys anything that is good. 

joke

When Paul and Susan first got married Paul said, "I am
putting a box under the bed. You must promise never
to look in it."

In all their 30 years of marriage, Susan never
looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary,
curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid
and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer cans
and $81,874.25 in cash.

She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now
that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly
curious as to why there even was such a box with such
contents. That evening, they were out for a special
anniversary dinner.

After dinner, Susan could no longer contain her
curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry,
Paul. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 beer cans in the box?"

Paul thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it
again."

Susan was shocked, but said, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened by your behavior. However, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem."

Paul thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace. A little while later Susan asked Paul, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"

Paul answered: "Well, whenever the box filled up with
empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and
redeemed them for cash."

Bob

We're Back

Well hello again to everyone in blog land. I can't believe that it's been three-plus years since my last post. I sometimes look at my blog and shake my head over three years of not writing anything. So much for a small break. 

Isn’t it funny when you have a routine doing a project or activity on a regular basis and then stop doing it for whatever reason there is this little voice in your head always telling you that you forgot to do this thing that was a part of your daily activity? Well that voice never went away and I finally caved to that nagging voice in my head.

After my last post, this is what my weekly norm was like. Phase one: I would type a paragraph then erase it repeat it several times because I didn't like it. It felt like I didn't have anything more to say, It looked like (to me) I was getting to the point where I was repeating myself; and if you are like me I hate having to read something that has been repeated. It was like as if I was beating a dead horse. I also didn't want you the reader to be bored with the blog I have more respect for you and your time than do that to you. Plus I didn't want to run this into the ground. I wanted to go out on a good note.

Towards the end of my short-lived writing career, Bobbie (bless her heart)would track me doing my new routine. Staring at the computer, peck at the keyboard then erase it. Then I would get up. Walk around and then go back to the computer. Erase what I wrote then stare at the computer as if it would type something magically telling me what to write about.

Bobbie’s radar started chirping madly when I stopped and looked at her with pleading eyes knowing that her time had come when I would drag her into my dilemma of writers' block.  

Bobbie was magnificent! She should have won an Oscar for playing her part perfectly. She sat there listening to me as if I were the only person in the world that had a problem. No eye rolls no banging her head on the kitchen table. It was truly amazing.

After I asked her the question, she took my hands into hers and said, "What about this? I told her did that "Then what about that?" I again told her did it already. 

 Then with a big smile, she said: “Write about your favorite sport SPANKING.” That got a big smile from me but then I realize how many people have the time to read a small book on my thoughts on spanking? Not many I would think.

 Then with an exasperated voice, she calmly said "Well then you’re the HOH in this family I am sure you will come up with something or go talk to Walter he'll be able to give you some advice" Then walked away to make dinner.

 A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a couple of my blogger friends telling them I was thinking of writing again and to my surprise, they agreed that I should. 

 The seed has been planted and starting to grow. How long will this little adventure last? I honestly can't answer that. I am going to try a different approach the writings will be on my mind. It will be about DD. The evil things that Bobbie does to me to get my blood boiling and her dad with his OCD ways to drive us nuts and how we are coping with his Parkinson's.

 So what have we been doing for three years? We have been active in the DD community and just shifted gears in another direction. I may or may not have mentioned it before but Bobbie and I have been monitoring a DD chat room for the past six years. 

We have made some very close friends there and some not so close. We try to use this room as a platform to help other like-minded people pointing them to the sites we trust to find the information they are seeking about DD and to talk about how they incorporated DD into their relationship and life in general. If you are interested in checking us out by clicking on the link The DD Chat Room.

Walter is still with us and yes his hearing is still amazing. The man can hear everything but unfortunately, he needs more of our help which keeps us close to the house so we can be of assistance to him (boss us around) lol.

Then there is our two dogs who think they own us the way they make us run around chasing them and doing their bidding letting them out and chasing them when they steal things from our bedroom. 

 So I am going to have plenty of time to write something on my blog and maybe, just maybe meet some new friends along the way. If you are game for some entertainment stop by and see what is on my mind and maybe we can swap some ideas about DD. 

Oh yeah questions are more than welcome here and all will be answered if we can.

One of the things that I learned from being off for three-plus years is that I came to the realization that if we don't talk or post how can other people who are either searching or want to talk to like-minded people. It is a good place to know they are not alone in TTWD.


Bob