Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Sneaky Wife and A Birthday

This is a shocking story about my wife who is a sneaky, conniving little imp and how she totally surprised me on my birthday two weeks ago. On September 12, 2013 was my birthday and I turned xx years old, Bobbie kept asking me what I wanted for my birthday and as any good HOH worth their salt would say “I don’t know, you don’t have to give me anything, I got you what more can I want.” I know, I know you all are thinking that was darn noble of me and I will agree with you it was very noble of me (LOL).

Sneaky Bobbie didn’t drop it like I thought she would she started to pay close attention to me and listen to what I was saying to our online friends and unknown to me my so called friends were talking behind my back also about what they was going to do for my birthday.

Conniving Bobbie, kept me occupied by giving me things to do to distract me while she was setting up my surprise and to my amassment, she kept this a secret. She really reached down into her evil self to do this to me and to this day, I can’t believe that she was capable of doing something like this.

That little imp of a wife of mine played me like a rusty fiddle, she plucked those strings like a virtuoso, she laughed maniacally while watching me jump through some hoops. Soon the snares were set and ready to go, I woke up early and I went to the kitchen to make coffee, after my first 3 cups of coffee, I heard Walter coming into the kitchen with his walker clump clump...clump, clump. I went into the bedroom before he tied up the hallway and fired up the computer, then proceeded to the chat room to read back and well… why? To be nosy why else would I go in there WEG. Well to my surprise there was a happy birthday Bob from Alice and I didn’t think anything of it and then went about my business then I started to get phone calls from my friends wishing me a happy birthday and was asking me if Bobbie was going to give me my birthday spankings.

“Ahhhhh no” was my reply

All day they either kiked or emailed me telling me that I should get birthday spankings for this special occasion again my reply was a laughing no, I hunted down Bobbie and asked her if she knew what was going on she looked me straight in the eye and said smiling NO. While Walter was eating breakfast Bobbie asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told her "I got you what more could I want" She looked at me with the biggest smile whispered in my ear and I chocked on my coffee.

I looked at her saying "yeah right when pigs fly that will happen" well people I am here to tell you that pigs really do fly.

Nothing more was said about what that Evil Sneaky wife of mine said and we continued to do our chores around the house. Then out of the blue Bobbie requested my presence downstairs, not even looking up concentrating on laughing at the texts I was getting I said something like uh huh yeah whatever sweetheart I'll be right there then I continued to text my response to my fellow greeters. I looked up and realiesed that Bobbie was not around and then I remembered that she was in the basement getting up I went downstairs to the Landry room and she wasn’t there I called out for her, I heard a muffled voice coming from the cone of silence room (bathroom).

Opening up the door and seeing what was in front of me I gasped loudly there she was pants at half mask bent over the waist wiggling her butt saying "well are you going to give me your birthday spankings." I grabbed the sink thinking that there was something seriously wrong with me hallucinating like that when I seen that it was Bobbie in the flesh. I quickly grabbed the paddle and in a miserable shaky attempt to sound stern I asked her if she was ready for my spankings (for all the wrong reasons that sounded so right) and then I proceeded to spank her till we reached that magical number both laughing like little kids. Yep like I said pigs really do fly.

That capped off my bestest birthday that I can ever remember or so I thought.

 Later that night I get a phone call from Cat and Alec wishing me a happy birthday, she was one of the ones that helped Bobbie set this whole thing up and she informed me that a package was arriving tomorrow to make sure I was there to accept it. Well I have heard stories about spanking friends giving gifts of implements, not that I have ever done anything like that right Cat

By the time the package came, I had forgotten about my presents and Bobbie comes to me with a box and hands me the package. I looked at her in confusion and confessing right away, I didn't order any toys. Bobbie, the understanding wife that she is, laughed at me and said, "You got this from Cat" my eyes got wide and I snatched it away from her hands I clawed and scratched at the packing tape and couldn't open it. Then I stopped looked at the tape then at Bobbie’s hands then back at the tape and started to smile, but I am starting to digress. I grabbed a pair of scissors and opened the box expecting a paddle or some nice implement but what I got was two gift bags and cards. So according to some family tradition that we have, you have to look at the card first, instead of opening your presents, once more Bobbie sighing, explained this foreign concept to me.

I opened the cards and they made light of the fact that I am not only very old but blind, hair falling out and other things that don't work when one gets old. Another fleeting thought came to me "why it is these cards aren’t that funny unless I am sending them?" Putting, well tossing the cards aside I to the first bag and pulled out a black thing incased in hard plastic with a stick note on it saying for Vader Bob. After struggling to open it with pair a of scissors I opened it and out came a Darth Vader apron for when I grill and also in the box was a Darth Vader bobble head with a red light saber I was laughing so hard.

Walter had to holler at us to keep it down because he was watching Turner Classic Movies and he couldn't hear it. While we were taking pictures of the presents, they sent us I put the bobble head down on the counter, he started speaking, and we both gave a squeal of joy every time you hit the base on the table he would speak.

Bobbie doesn’t like the Darth Vader bobble head much anymore, in fact on several occasions she threatened to throw it up against the wall or accidently on purpose break it if she hears his voice one more time.

I just don’t understand it, I am sure it is not the way I use it to answer for me by slightly moving my hand to make Darth’s head say yes or no, or me taping the bobble Vader on the table listening to him speak all the time. I can’t for the life of me figure out why, oh well maybe Bobbie can explain it to me.


Friday, September 20, 2013

Older Generation

We are either seeing or hearing more and more stories about how the younger generation is taking care of their aging parents because they are living longer and as you all know Bobbie's dad is living with us and I have written about some of our adventures in this blog about him. Although at times when I write about him, I try to write funny things about him and by no means is it meant to be mean or disrespectful to the man. The reality is that he is very welcomed here because he has brought so much joy being in our household. But unfortunately, along with time he is slowing down where we have to take care of him more and more.

This poses a problem for those of us that live in a DD relationship. In some ways it is like having a child back in the household where you have to be careful of what you say and do in front of them. The simple solution that to use for a work around is that you could wait for them to go to bed then you can have your talk or other things that need addressing.

However, this problem is not feasible for us because Walter has no bedtime curfew. What do you do? We can't wait for Walter to go to bed because Walter on most nights stays up until 2 am watching TV and I am in bed by 11pm-12am at the latest. We can't whisper behind his back because he has super hearing and the man hears everything.

Since Walter has been living with us talking and discussing what is on our mind has never been a problem for us. If we need to talk to each other about something that we didn’t want Walter to hear about we would go for a road trip. We would put our shoes on, grab the keys, and proceed to tell him we were going to Bed Bath and Beyond to go buy some wooden spoons and if it was past 9 pm then it was Meijers for hair brushes. We then would jump in the van and drive around town while we have our talk. If we had to immediately address the problem then we would step outside and have our chat.

The trouble we were having was if it were more than just a chat, how does one do that without their live in guest knowing what was going on? It was a struggle at first because you can only say, “Sweetheart will you go downstairs with me and help me fold the cloths?” Take care of business and then make the one time mistake of walking up with the cloths basket filled with clothes. He caught on quick with that one. LOL You should have seen the look on our faces when he asked if we were folding cloths in the basement then why did we bring them up in the basket. Answer of course is we got side tracked.

Now that our time is limited on how long we can go out for our group meetings we are utilizing modern technology to communicate with each other. Although we are no more than 20ft away from each other at any given time, we now chat on the cell phones, computer, or tablets, kiking, emailing, or messaging each other.

We now have all kinds of conversations about our kinky friends. We are in the same room with him, and he hasn’t a clue of what we are talking about unless one of us speaks out while they are typing out their sentence. There has been several occasions that we have said “oh my gawd” and laughed so hard it was hard to find a story of what was so funny.

Other things we have done to get away is we have a fantastic nephew that spends the night with him while Bobbie and I spend the night out on the town and stay in a hotel somewhere to rejuvenate our batteries.

Since we can’t go for long hours at a time, we have broken up our days to take mini excursions where we disappear for a couple of hours at a time. We make sure he is all set and don’t have to move too far, and then jump in the van and occasionally we would check in to see if everything is ok.

We had fun with the construction of the Cone of Silence in the basement bathroom. We have a large cyber family in blog land and in chat that have supported us when we were down. Encouraging us to continue on by listening to us gripe when the “alone” times were scarce and if you are reading this my cyber friends, we thank you all for kicking us in the butt or giving us praises when we needed them for without you we might not of made it.

We even have found solitude as close as the bedroom. Although he is not far from us, it is far enough away where we can reconnect by just holding each other enjoying the closeness.

The sad part is that he needs our attention more now than he has in the past and he will need even more in the near future. We are ok with this. In fact, we are embracing it so when it does happen we can still give him the best care that we are capable of giving him and at the same time have some new and exciting way of having US time together. 


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Feeling About Discipline Spankings

Mona Lisa asked if I could write about my view of why discipline spankings make me depressed. Is the depression connected directly to punishment or the pain.
Why spankings depress me
I don’t like discipline spankings because even though the punishment is not harsh or above and beyond by tolerance I still cry. When I cry I get very depressed. I feel like the world has left me. Like he doesn’t love me. The crying does not make me feel better. That is not the release I need. It makes me feel down and gives me the wrong impression about myself. I feel worthless, like I am a child, or a down trodden person, I am beneath him, he is better than I. All throughout school I always thought so little of myself. I had no confidence in myself. That I could do something, I was small in school and I was also shy. So I always stayed in the background. When I was out of school is when I realized that I did have something to offer the world. I was good at my job and I was good at taking care of bob.

It confuses the hell out of Bob. He doesn’t understand why I can have my electronics and my reading time taken away from me but the above things bug the hell out of me. Not that it doesn’t bother me, but it doesn’t have the same side effects.

I guess maybe it is because it isn’t a physical pain or a demeaning form of punishment. It is more of a mental pain or a restriction of time that I could be doing something that I really want.

On the other hand when it comes to good girl spankings I sure don’t have a problem with that! I consider them fun and uplifting. Now good girl spankings are a stress reliever for me. If I have had an especially crazy day or am even meaner than a junk yard dog, it helps me to unwind and take a deep breath and release everything that is pent up inside of me.  

Although it seems that he hits just as hard, it is not a constant attack on my behind or my mental state.

I am still working towards being able to accept both and telling the difference and not mixing the two together.


Friday, September 13, 2013

The Cone of Slience

As you all probably know by now Bobbie's dad is living with us as he can no longer live by himself so we asked him to move in with us and he graciously accepted our offer. We had and have many good times with him. He tells us stories of what it was like living in the 40’s and 50’s. Most of his stories are fascinating. Others not so much.

In the beginning he had some freedom as he was still self-sufficient and needed no assistance. Nevertheless, as time marches on that is no longer the case. He has gotten frail, his mind is still intact and sharp, but his body is slowing down. He now needs help with simple things and he relies on us to do those things for him. Things that we take for granted. Most of the time we do it happily and we consider it a blessing to help him with his daily chores.

But now that he is home all the time our "US" time has diminished imperishably to almost nothing so we started to do the research on what it would cost and how hard it would be to turn our bathroom into a soundproof room. After researching how to soundproof a room I was amazed at how many different ways there was to deaden the sound of a simple sound as a hand slapping a butt or a paddle cracking her backside although the biggest sound I had to be concerned about is Bobbie yelling too loud, LOL.

 Our bedroom would have been nice to do but we were prohibited from doing that because the man has super hearing. He hears everything that we do and Bobbie and I are deafer than a doorknob. Our salvation for the coveted “US” time was the basement and the only room we have down there is a bathroom that we put in before her dad moved in with us. So the goals were set and the clock started ticking on producing a room that was code named The Cone of Silence, do you see the humor here of how our room was turning out.

We went scouring the net for information,which in HOH talk is I went searching for our salvation to keep our sanity. FYI the best way to build a soundproof room is to build a room within a room where none of the studs from the inner wall touches the outer walls. Yep you have the same look as I did when I read that and I was saying to myself that is not happening. After a long decision of a few seconds, we (Bobbie) decided that we weren’t going to build a room within a room.

The second option was to hang thick heavy drapes around the outer walls. Before we went out to buy the drapes for the outer wall I hung up a heavy bed cover to get some idea of how much this was going to reduce the noise. I hung them at the corner wall where you had to pass to get to the laundry room. As Bobbie was walking past that corner the a/c turned on, the curtains moved next to her, and she let out a scream. After her heart came back down to normal she told me that she is not going to walk by the curtains anymore because it was just too creepy walking by them always thinking someone or something was coming out and grabbing you. We excessively saw many horror movies where the monster or killer was behind the curtain.

Back to the drawing board. I went and I found a better way to accomplish our goal. It was egg cartons. Laugh all you want and snicker at me or mock me if you will but they are great for defusing sound waves. At first I was collecting all kinds of egg cartons until I reread the instructions that only cardboard egg cartons would work because of the thickness and the shape of those bumpy things that cradle the eggs. We then started collecting all the cardboard egg cartons we could get our hands on. Once we had over a hundred cartons we started cutting the cartons to fit in-between the studs. Talk about a mind-numbing job. After about 1.5 hrs. Of cutting and taping approximately 45 egg cartons together, we got one section of the wall done and like a proud parent we were looking at our creation. We busted out laughing at the futility of our daunting job because the section we got done was 16” wide 7 ft. tall and we had another 18 sections to go woo hoo. Yeah we were rolling right along. After taking everything down and five garbage bags later, I went, not so happily this time, to do some more research.

I found a company that sold sound proofing foam at a reasonable price. It tested to reduce the noise by at least 50%.

So jumping in the van we trekked off to this huge warehouse where they have everything you would ever want in the shape of foam. I chatted to the salesperson and she told me what I needed to do with her sound deadening panels. So I bought a sheet of sound deadening foam, they rolled it up and I stuffed it in the van.

After I got it downstairs I had to look for a razor blade knife, like any normal male you walk into a lumberyard and you walk out with a razor knife because you never know when you’re going to need one. Therefore, after finding one, I cut the tape and out springs this 5’ x 8’ foam sheet just like those springy snake things in a can. After making my workspace a little bit bigger, I started to cut the panel to the size I wanted. This went surprisingly good and in about 3 hours I was done with half of the bathroom walls.

I was giddy with happiness thinking my quest will soon be over for a room we can go hide in. I put a radio in the room and turned it up louder than what Bobbie was going to yell. Bobbie sat in Walter’s chair and listened for the noise. She reported that she could hear a little of it but after she turned on the TV she couldn’t hear it.

Oh how we danced for joy! Smiling like loons and that we had finely reached the holy land of spankings. We went to our online friends in a chat room, we shared our joy with them and we acted like proud parents of a newborn. I would have passed out cigars if I could have found a way to get them through the internet lines.

We ran back to the Foam Warehouse and told the sales person we wanted to buy another sheet of foam and the imp of a sales person said what thickness and that is when everything started to unravel. She asked me what thickness I wanted 1, 2, or 3” foam. I should have stuck with the game plan and left everything alone and just bought the same thickness and been happy. But no I am a man and we always think bigger is always better so I went to the 2” panel. We went back home and Installed the new sheet of foam on the walls. We did another sound test with the radio. I turned it on while thinking of all the fun times we are going to have down here. Then my spanking world came crashing down around me. Bobbie sadly reported that she could now hear everything like she was downstairs in the room.

Denial set in quickly and I said something intelligent like you couldn't of heard the noise and my favorite are you sure you can hear the radio? I went into a deep depression and moped for a couple of days thinking I was going to spend all our retirement money on motel rooms just so we can be alone.

So back to the drawing board I went. I was looking for a professional contractor that I could talk to and hopefully give me some advice on what to do when I found a site that explained it in nonprofessional terms on how to do it. He said to use house insulation between the walls and that it was the cheapest and best way to soundproof a room.

I had some insulation left from a previous job. I installed it on the shortest wall and we did the sophisticated sound test again. We started to get reasonable results from the fiberglass insulation. Back to the lumberyard I went minus Bobbie. She didn’t think it was fun anymore trying to build a room so that I can spank her (I think she just realized what was going to happen if the room ever was built.)

Four hours and six beers later the insulation was up, I got the trusty old radio and turned it on. Bobbie was upstairs sitting in Walter's chair with her phone on and then I turned on the radio and the first thing I hear is I can hear the radio. Looking at the radio and sinking fast like a drowning man I went upstairs and I couldn’t hear anything but as I got closer to Bobbie I could hear the radio playing my darling wife still had her phone on she didn’t mute it.

Looking at each other as if we hadn’t a clue of what just happened, we both burst out laughing at what happened. I turned off the phone and all we could hear was the low drone of the TV set. It is far from perfect but he can’t hear it in his seat and now we can have our sanity back the only thing now is we have to keep coming up with excuses of why the both of us have to go downstairs. That is another problem for another day.


Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Being a Spanko

We all have heard the expression being said “that person is a spanko”. That immediately tells you that they like spankings and they like giving or receiving them a lot, but a lot of people don't understand what it is like to be a spanko.

What is it like being a spanko? I am not any different than anyone you might see walking down the street. I dress like you, talk like you, I have the same concerns as how to raise a family, paying bills just like you in fact I could even be your next door neighbor.

The similarities end there because in my mind and behind closed doors I am very different from the non-spanko because there are times when it seems like all I think about is spanking a female’s backside day and night. We could be at a party, a store or just sitting down outside on the front porch and if a female walks by the first thing I focus on is her gludious Maximus and then start thinking about what it would be like spanking it. In other words, I think of spanking day and night.

I can't remember a time in my life that I didn't like spanking a female bottom. When I was a little tike I remember playing spanking games with the neighborhood girls. I was either their dad or their husband and somehow I always found out that they did something wrong. Whatever it was unimportant but the end game was that I got to spank them.

I realized that I was different from my friends when I became a teenager. None of my friends had the desire to swat a butt as she walked by them like I did. I suppressed my feelings for most of high school until the twelfth grade when I went on a date with Molly. After dinner and a movie while we were having coffee talking about our dreams when we got out of school, when unexpectedly I blurted out that I wanted to spank her. She just looked at me with a cocked head and then asked why.

I stuttered my answer telling her that I would enjoy spanking her butt and that it would be fun for the both of us it. I can now see that this spanking line was not the best ever said but it worked (lol). We went to a secluded place. She crawled over my lap and sighed with trembling hands I lifted her skirt and slowly pulled the hem up to her waist. Sucking in my breath loudly as I stared at what was before me. With shaking hands I reverently pulled her panties down to her knees. I patted it and kept my hand on her butt then I slowly started to spank her with great fascination as I spanked her. I saw her butt go from a light shade of pink to a healthy shade of a medium red. Time stood still, there was nothing else in the universe everything I had was focused on what lie over my lap at that moment, then I heard a noise.

Molly gave a little whimper, saying, “I’ll be a good girl”

That broke the spell of me spanking her. I helped her up and noticed a tear rolling down her cheek I asked her if she was ok and when she said “yes” I then asked her “why did you say that” she couldn’t explain it. She then proceeded to hit me in the arm telling me that if she has any bruises on her butt she was going to be mad at me because she had a doctor appointment tomorrow. Laughing and rubbing my arm, I said, “Why didn’t you tell me to stop then?”

“I didn’t stop you because you were enjoying yourself” We never saw each other after that. 

When the 90’s came while a lot of my friends were collecting sport cards going to shows getting cards signed by the players I was scouring the bookstores for spanking books and pictures. My friends had their most prized possession on display; I had mine hidden in between the mattress. The electronic age exploded on the scene and a whole new avenue opened up to us spankos. We now had access to movies, better stories, an unbelievable amount of pictures some good and a lot was junk.

This is what a spanko does, well at least this spanko does. I spend a huge amount of time thinking, looking, reading, and just spanking Bobbie whenever the chance presents itself.

When Bobbie sees that faraway look in my eyes she will ask me what I am either looking at or thinking about and I look at her with a smiling face saying “spanking you and then going into detail on how I was going to do it. She looks at me laughing calling me a goof and takes my hand as she leads me into the bedroom I am looking at the swaying backside in front of me thinking about…


Friday, September 6, 2013

About Last Post

I am writing this in regards to my last post. It seems that I have upset some people with its contents and may have lead others to believe that I practice what was posted.

I posted that article because I don’t spank Bobbie for discipline anymore because of the negative feedback that I got from her the few times we have tried it. The reason we don’t practice this method anymore is because instead of helping her to forgive herself or release some pent up stress that she may have had she goes into a deep depression type state. She doesn’t talk to me for a couple of days and while spanking her she fights it.

So I resorted to an alternative type discipline that consists of taking away her things that are dear to her. For example her books, her computer, her electronics, I also have her write essays on different subjects that help her to understand why she did or does was wrong,

She sits on the bed instead of doing corner time where she has had  good success with thinking about what she has done; she has done some extra chores as discipline too. I do not do anything to her that we have not already discussed nor tested out before hand of implementing anything new into our life style. 

As for the articles that I put on the blog that other people have written, I may or may not agree with what they have written, I put it on my blog because I think that it would be interesting to read and informative. It puts a different spin on the subject and the result is that I hope you find it entertaining and possibly learn something new from it. I do not say anything about these articles because I want you to form your own opinion.



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Alternative Discipline

I have found this interesting article in one of my old folders from way back, I don't know who the author is nor where I got the article from. If anyone knows the author or the web site this article came from please let me know so I can give this person the credit for their article.

Corner Time

Some people would immediately dismiss this as childish and therefore inappropriate for an adult relationship, but I think it depends on exactly how it is used.

To begin with, it can be used before, during, or after a spanking, or it can be used as a disciplinary tool in its own right. Before a spanking, it might be used as a cooling off period and 'time-out' for both partners, and also to give the spankee time to reflect on her wrongdoing and increase her anticipation of what was to come. During a spanking, it might provide a break during which someone who channels all their control into fighting the pain of a spanking could finally find release and be able to cry. Afterwards, it serves to reinforce the reasons for the spanking and give pause for thought and recovery before rejoining the world.

As an alternative to spanking it can also serve in different ways. It may be that an HOH has repeatedly to deal with the same 'offence' and each time that happens, he has to interupt whatever he is doing to do so. If corner time is given in those circumstances, it means that the only time wasted is that of the 'miscreant' and it doesn't become a kind of punishment for the HOH also. Or perhaps something immediate but discreet is required because there are other people in the house.

Corner time also makes a good long distance tool because, provided there is sufficient trust in a relationship, it doesn't require the disciplinarian's physical presence. A set time, measured by some form of audible timer can be imposed, during which the 'sub' is required not to look around from the corner. Looking around once would mean that the corner time had to be started again from the beginning, and a second lapse would mean the same except that this time the 'sub' would be required to hold a piece of paper or coin in place with her nose.

Also part of the 'physchology' of corner time is mode of dress while there. To stand either naked or with panties around the ankles and skirt hitched up often increases the sense of vunerability and submission felt by the 'sub' and therefore reinforces the 'control' aspect of the relationship.

A variation on this, if your body doesn't allow for long term standing, is to sit in a chair facing the corner.


This is very similar to corner time, except that the subject is required to kneel either in the centre of a room, or in a corner, for a set period of time. Sometimes she is required to be naked when this happens which again is calculated to increase her sense of vunerability and submission.

Variations on this would be to scatter dried rice on the spot on which she will kneel, or to require her to hold books in her oustretched hands for part of the time.

Writing Lines

Again, some people would dismiss this as being a discipline which belongs with childhood, but, in fact, it is something which can be used quite effectively to fit a 'crime'. If, for example, if a woman constantly forgets to do something she is supposed to, writing a 'reminder', like 'I must remember to...............' over and over can serve to jog her memory in the future.

Similarly, if a 'bad' behaviour is repeated regularly, lines might be used in proportion to the number of repetitions in order to try and prevent re-occurance.

For many people, especially those who do not enjoy writing, this can be extremely time consuming and tedious, and once again, any time wasted is wasted by the subject and not the HOH.

Essays / Explanations

This is similar to lines in some respects, except that it is up to the 'sub' to think about why she has done something and what she will do to avoid similar incidents in the future. From the point of view that it requires thought and consideration on the part of the sub, it is perhaps more constructive than lines, but, obviously, depending on whether the subject enjoys writing, it can be more, or less of a chore.

Some HOHs also require their women to include ways in which they feel the 'crime' should be punished.

Mouth Soaping

In a 'punishment to fit the crime' respect, this is usually considered appropriate for bad language or disrespect.

There are several different ways to go about mouth soaping. Some people use liquid soap squirted directly into the mouth, others require a bar of soap to be held in the mouth, and others will soap up a wash cloth and literally wash out the mouth with it.

Sometimes the 'sub' has to hold the soap in her mouth for a while, as she stands in the corner, or even while being spanked. (use a bar of soap for this because liquid soap would be too easily swallowed). In other cases, she is allowed to spit the soap our but not to rinse the taste away.

A word of warning. Use a mild and preferably natural soap for this and never anything abrasive, deodorising or antibacterial. Even then, if the 'soapee' is inclined towards allergies or sensitive skin, test her reaction with a very small amount of soap before you consider putting her at risk. Finally, try to avoid causing her to swallow any soap, as this can cause serious problems.

Grounding/loss of privileges/early bed time

This can take many forms and can be made to fit the crime.

For example, if the crime is something like speeding, or not wearing a seatbelt, driving privileges can be revoked for a set period of time. If not paying bills or overspending is the problem, credit cards and cheque books can be taken away.

Alternatively, she can be banned from an activity or outing she enjoys, or restricted from reading, the computer, telephone and/or television for a time.

She might also be required to remain in the house or a particular room in the house except for essential outings and a set early bedtime could be enforced.

Extra tasks/chores or disliked activities

In this method, the subject might be given a list of chores to complete each day and be grounded from leisure activities until they were completed. She might also be given a particular chore she disliked, such as ironing or cleaning an oven or bathroom.

Allternatively, if she wasn't keen on exercising or walking for instance, she could be required to do this for a set time each day when she would rather be doing something else.

Edited on 9/72013  Roseland from discipline and love is the author of this article