My name is not important, but what is important is that you have somehow gotten your hands on this paper and are reading it. This is a good thing because you are now curious on what this letter has to say and now that I have your attention sit back and relax, I want to let you on a well-known little secret that most of us guys do not like to think about.
Still here? Good. Either your wife has already talked to you about wanting to start a DD relationship or she has told you that she wants you to spank her. Now before you toss this out please take the time to finish reading this letter.
As you read this letter, you probably will do one of three things.
(1) You can go back to what you were doing and say nothing about it.
(2) You will be able to look your wife in the eyes, say that you have read it, and say no.
(3) If you say yes, you will have opened a wonderful door that your wife and you can explore together.
This is going to be your decision either way.
So let us assume that your wife came to you and she tells you that she wants a DD relationship. She bares her soul and tells you her most intimate secret thoughts of what she wants, and this friend is no easy task to do. She tells you how she wants to be more than just friends, to co-exist with each other. She wants intimacy, she has things that she wants to change about herself, she has bared her soul so you will know her better. She wants to give you the greatest gift that she can possibly give. Do you understand what you just read? She wants to give herself to you not just bits and pieces but all of her the whole package.
That’s some heady stuff is it not? She is willing to be compliant, to follow your lead, and work towards a better intimate relationship for the two of you.
So now she said she wants you to be the head of the household (HOH), the man in charge. Have you really given it a thought? What could happen if you said yes to what your wife wants of you and what this can do for your marriage? Like most of us men, if it does not look or sound good and it is not easy we will not do it, especially if it’s out of our comfort zone.
So, now you’re starting to like what you have read so far, but your thinking what exactly do I have to do. I cannot spank my wife, I don’t want to hurt her or she is an adult and why can’t she act like one.
First thing you should do is talk to your wife and really listen to what she is telling you, she will explain it all to you. Ask her questions ponder on what she is saying maul it over and sleep on it then go back and talk some more. Do not rush into this. You’re going to need time to do some research on exactly what a HOH does and if you demand nicely your wife will point you in the direction to go.
Now we come to part of why you have to spank your wife. This is very important to your wife because this is a release mechanism for your wife to let out stress, to forgive herself of what ever it is that she has done like being mean, snippy maybe even spent too much money. The reasons are endless and in some cases it even excites her. Talk to her to find out where her head is in all of this. No one but she can tell you how she feels when being spanked. This is going to help you wrap your mind around why you must spank your wife.
You now have an understanding of what your wife is asking and why and you have agreed to become her HOH. Now we come to the part of spanking her but are afraid of hurting her because frankly you don’t know how hard is hard and you don’t want to spank her into next week and her screaming bloody murder.
Practice, practice and practice some more your spanking skills and you know what? I bet there is someone really close to you that will happily volunteer to be your test subject I bet she is jumping up and down and waving her hands around saying “pick me, pick me”. J
I have a couple of suggestions for you. Take her over your knees and start to spank her slowly not hard and as you continue to spank her slowly pick up the intensity of the spanks to her butt. When you start to get a reaction from her you will have an idea of how hard to spank her.
Before spanking her, pick a safe word for her to say if the spanking is too much for her. If she says her safe word you stop immediately and talk about what happened and then continue if the both of you agree to do so.
By doing this you will have some idea how hard to spank her. You will learn her body language when spanked hard. You will notice that she will be happier, easier to live with, relaxed and most importantly you will find out that she will not break when being spanked.
Here are a few things you can try to flex your HOH muscles and to get your confidence up.
1. Ask her to tell you something she has learned about DD and are curious to try with them.
2. Discuss with her things that you find you find interesting and ask her how you can do to apply x,y and z to your marriage.
3. Tell her to share with you a struggle that she is having with her submission and make suggestions on how to help her overcome those obstacles and get input if they will help.
4. Tell them to bring you their favorite (or least favorite) implement and use that as you learn how to spank them.
5. Set aside time to talk about your concerns with the relationship, or new needs/wants that have come to the surface.
6. Suggest adding a small ritual that you do together every day to reconnect. It can be as simple as greeting each other when you both get home from work.
The most important thing that I can impart to you is to have fun exploring this with your wife. Learn about her wants and needs, cherish her and communicate. Keep those lines open and keep an open mind because this will constantly change.